


The Lone Survivor

by Acacia_Mac



Series: The Fates Decide - Night Fires Burning Bright [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Aftermath of Torture, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Amputation, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Barebacking, Brain Damage, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky is a dad, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lost Bucky Barnes, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Experimentation, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Murder, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Brainwashing, Past Child Abuse, Past Mpreg, Past Torture, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Red Room, Red Room and Hydra are sick, Slurs, Soul Bond, Swearing, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark can be a pain, Torture, Triggers, Warnings May Change, gene manipulation, not for faint of heart, so many I cannot name them all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 74,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acacia_Mac/pseuds/Acacia_Mac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve knew bringing Bucky back wouldn’t be easy, but he had no idea just what life would throw at them once they found each other again.  Between Hydra, SHIELD, the Governments but throw in lies, secrets, and a couple of assassins, a genius, people back from the dead and a couple of gods what could else could go wrong?<br/>But then again with the remains of SHIELD and the Avengers involved anything an happen.<br/>This opens directly after the events of Till They All Come Home</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And in the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is set directly after the events of Till They All come Home. There will be a lot of difficult things in this story as our two boys work to get back together, so please keep track of the warnings before each chapter.  
> Thank you ALL for the love and support you have given me since I started all this.  
> All mistakes are my own, No beta so please forgive any mistakes. I'll try to catch them as I go along.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1.1 - Steve opens up about his past

~~~***~~~***

“And just where the hell do you think you have been,” Sam asked as he stood inside the doorway of the kitchen.  “You just up and drop these files on me, and leave?”

Steve turned around with coffee cup in his hand and smiled as he leaned against the counter.  “Sam, I have been here for the past couple of weeks.”

Sam threw the file down on the table between them and shook his head.  “Oh that’s how it is?”

“That’s how it is.  What’s wrong, Sam,” Steve asked as he handed Sam a cup of coffee.  “Hungry?”

Sam sat down at the table and leaned back in the chair.  “Yeah and it better be good.”  

Steve pulled out some eggs and bacon from the fridge and began to prepare their breakfast.  “So you finally get through it all?”  Steve wasn’t sure what to think of it all.  His own mind had been sent in a tailspin when he had read it all, and he wasn’t sure what Sam would think.  It was a lot to take in, and in all honesty a little far fetched.  “Sam?”

Sam could only shake his head.  “Ok, so… you and what …Barnes?  You two are some sort of strange animal kingdom experiment gone wrong?”

Steve could only laugh a little and shake his head.  “Dr. Erskine felt that in order to keep a solid team you would need a … certain dynamic.  I had thought I was the only one, since well… I can only guess that Zola and Hydra had discovered that and used that in their own serum.”

“You do know I have no problem with you being gay, this is the 21st century.  But… I just can’t get my head around this shit.”  Sam reached over for the file and pulled out one page he had earmarked.  “So are you the Alpha or….”

“Does it really matter,” Steve asked looked over his shoulder.  He could see Sam shrug and Steve could tell it really didn’t matter to Sam at all in how he would view him.  “I guess you could say I am the Omega.”

Sam held the page out in front of him toward Steve, waving it between them.  “You do know what this says right?  Now this is where I just can’t wrap my damn mind around.  You can get pregnant?  Dude, you do know men can’t get pregnant right?”

Steve finished their breakfast and set it all down on the table between then.  He had been thinking on that since he had read that part of the notes.  It had to be right, but just thinking that left a hole deep within him.  “Yeah… It’s possible.”

“And only with Barnes… cause I assume he’s your Alpha and…” Sam didn’t even know how to explain it.  “Man, let me tell you, all I learned about the birds and the bees just flew out the window.  This is beyond anything that makes sense.  I mean… How?  It’s not like you got the parts to, you know… deliver one right?  You don’t do you,” Sam asked looking Steve up and down.

Steve laughed, setting his cup down so he didn’t choke.  “No, I can say I do not have those parts.  I think after this long I would have noticed.”

“So how?”

Steve leaned back, looking out the window across the way.  The early morning light starting to shine through leaving everything in a soft glow.  “I don’t know.  But I can say it is possible.”  Sam reached across the table and laid a hand on Steve’s arm.  Steve turned back to Sam, giving him a small smile.  “I think… ok I’m pretty sure I was at one point.  Not one hundred percent, mind you.  I didn’t really know what was going on at the time.”

“Was it during the war or…  I mean it couldn’t be after since hell, we all thought Barnes was dead.  Unless there is something you’re not telling me….”

Steve gave him a smile and shook his head.  “When I was defrosted,” Steve said using Sam’s words from when they first met.  “I just know there was a lot of pain, blood…. I didn’t know what was going on…All I knew what I felt… like a part of me was being ripped apart.”  Steve grabbed his fork and began to eat his eggs.  “I can only guess that at the time, I was pregnant.  The years in the water …. It just couldn’t survive.”

Sam put his own fork down and reach again across the table.  “You ever tell anyone about this?”

Steve shook his head and let out a deep breath.  “Who would believe me?  What would I tell them?  You do know if people found out one that I was gay, and two that I was pregnant it would … I don’t even want to think of what the outcry would be.  There is a certain … belief as to Captain America.  If people found out…”

“To hell with what others think.”  Sam took a sip of his own coffee, cringing at the luke warmth of it.  Standing he went to refill his cup.  Sam knew he needed to be awake more for this talk.  “Ok, look.  Who cares what people think.  We are in a day and age now where hell, you could even fucking marry.  Granted getting them to love Barnes may be a little bit of work if people find out what he did, but even that can be covered.  What I’m trying to say is if you and Barnes are together, if you WANT to be… and I’m not just talking because of some damn genetic code shit that these cooks dumped into you…If it wasn’t for this serum, if you were both just regular guys in this day and age would you?”

Steve sat back and ran his hand through is hair.  “I’ve loved Bucky for as long as I can remember.  Love, love.  I was in love with him.  And I know he was with me.  It was just in that time… if it hadn’t been for the serum, we would never have acted on it at the time.  Today….”  Steve leaned forward and looked at the file between them.  “Yeah… I think we would be together.”

“that is enough for me.”  Sam turned to his food and began eating.  “What the hell do you put in these eggs?  I swear you have to teach me.”  Sam glanced up to see a look of disbelief in Steve’s face.  “Look, you don’t honestly think that Riley and I were JUST wingmen right?  You and Barnes have this damn … timeless love affair or some shit.  Call me a damn sucker for a love story to match the ages…. But we’ll find him and bring him home.  To you.”

Steve could only nod and thank his lucky stars that he had run into Sam.  He knew he would find Bucky, that one day all this nightmare could be behind him. Steve knew it would not be easy, but he one day he and Bucky would be together again.  All he had to do was believe.  And thankfully for Steve, he had Sam to help him through the hard times.  “I … thanks.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re willing to help.”

Sam could only shrug at that.  Leaning back in his chair he looked down at the file.  “So where do we start?”  Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper and handed it over to Sam.  “What’s this?”

“He left that, or at least that was on the ground when he left.”

“When he left?  You mean you have seen him?  Where?  And why didn’t you bring him in?  I mean…  Isn’t that the purpose of this all,” Sam asked as he picked up the list.

Steve leaned back in his chair to take a quick look out the window.  “He was at Arlington early this morning when I was there.  It’s not really the type of place where you can bring in a Strike team.”  Sam could only stare at Steve in disbelief.  “I asked him to come with me, he just…”  Steve let out a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair.  “He looks bad, Sam.  Like he hadn’t slept.  He just walked up to the memorial and said he was sorry.”

“For what?  Well I can guess what but did he say anything else?”  Sam still couldn’t believe that Steve had been alone with the man who had tried to kill them all not that long ago.  Even with everything Sam had been reading since then, until he had proof that Barnes wouldn’t be a threat to Steve, he would keep a close eye on the two.  Sam knew that when it came to Barnes, Steve could not be objective.  

“He’s remembering, Sam.  Not a lot, but he is staring to remember.  I think whatever Hydra did to him is starting to wear off.”

“I hope you are right, man.  I don’t want to be the damn devil’s advocate.  I want to believe that he is the guy you knew but what he has been through, I don’t know if anyone can come back from that.”  Sam stated.  Sam saw that Steve was at least grateful for his honesty even if he didn’t agree.  Sam hoped that for Steve’s sake, Barnes could come back.  “So what… we start at the top?

Steve reached for his coffee and took a sip.  “There is one thing I need to do first, well one thing I think needs to be done.  There’s some people I have to try and find.”

“Who?”

“Bucky’s family.”

~~~***~~~***

**_ Brooklyn 1931 – Mid-February  _ **

_ James Buchannan Barnes slowly walked up the stairs to their apartment, his mother had just gone into the hospital to give birth to his little brother and sister.  Bucky’s father was still there forcing Bucky to pick up his little sister from Steve’s place and care for her.  Little Lucille was only three, and Bucky had been determined to spare her from his father’s wrath from the first moment he held her in his arms.  He would be the best big brother anyone could have hoped for.  Bucky still couldn’t believe his ma still slept with that no good son of a gun, but his ma kept telling him that his pa was getting help and getting better.   _

_ Bucky could still feel the bruise on his ribs from the beating he had received just two nights prior.  If that was better, Bucky wasn’t sure what would happen if his pa was worse.  Standing outside Steve’s door, Bucky took a deep breath and let it out slowly before raising it to knock.  Seeing Steve standing on the other side only brought a smile to his face.  “Hey Stevie.  She give you any problems?” _

_ “Heck no, we were just sitting here drawing, then ma dragged her away to help her cook.  Come on in,” Steve said as he opened the door farther.  “You ok,” Steve asked laying a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.  Bucky could only nod as he made his way inside to see his little sister.  “Think she likes cooking.” _

_ Steve’s ma turned and smiled at Bucky as he came in the room and immediately went over to him.  She could sense something, always had been able to when it comes to the two.  “How is your mother, James?” _

_ Bucky could only stare out the window briefly as he let a long breath out.  He had been holding it together well in the walk from the subway, but one look from Steve’s ma and Bucky felt as if his world was falling apart.  Taking a deep breath, Bucky only gave her a sad smile as he went over to his sister.  “Hey Lucy,  You helping Mrs, Rogers with dinner, hm?” _

_ ‘Yah, me help.” _

_ “Yeah, you’re good at that,” Bucky leaned down and gave her a small kiss on top of the head.  _

_ “Mama,” little Lucille asked trying to look behind Bucky to see if her ma was behind him. _

_ Bucky took another deep breath and kneeled down so he could level with her.  “Lucy, ma … remember in church when they tell us about angels,” Bucky began avoiding looking at Steve and Sarah trying to focus only on his little sister.  He silently cursed his pa for making him the one to break the news, but knew his old man would be dealing with a lot as well.  Bucky was considered practically a man now, he would make sure he did what he promised his ma he would do.  He would be the man and care for his younger siblings, he could do it, he had to.  “Well ma had done such a great job here, caring for all of us, that God needed her to help others too.  So ma went to be an angel tonight.  But she left us something to remember her by so we didn’t feel all alone.”  Bucky could feel the tears start to build behind his eyes and he closed them briefly to gather his strength.  “She also gave me this,” he said as he pulled out a little stuff bear.  He had used all the money he had saved the past few months helping out the old man Williams around his apartment to get it for Lucille.  “She wanted me to tell you, that you keep this with you if you start to miss her being here, ok?  See Ma is now your angel, she blessed this little bear so you can always feel her right there ok?” _

_ Lucille reached out with tears in her eyes for the bear and held it to her little chest.  “Mama… agel?” _

_ “Yeah, she’s an Angel now.  She’s here,” he said pointing to the bear.  “And here.” He pointed to her chest.  “She’s all around.  She’s watching us now.  So you don’t have to be sad, ok?  She’s right here with you.” _

~~~***~~~***

June 2014

The man once known as James Buchannan Barnes, Bucky, the Asset could only look at the large hole he had just made in the wall.  These flashes of another life, another time had been creeping into his subconscious since DC and he wasn’t sure what to do.  Were they real?  Was it something that had been planted by Hydra?  Was it just his damn fracture mind making things up?  

All the man wanted was to find a Cryo tube and sleep.  He couldn’t sleep, some byproduct of Hydra’s grand plan unless he was in that damn tube.  His mind just kept moving in a million directions at once, he could see things, do things he never knew he could do before.  At least as much as he could remember.  Flashes of Hydra agents, doctors, missions, a run down apartment building in New York, the skinny blond he had seen in pictures in the museum, the war.  So many things flashing, he felt like he was going insane.  He almost craved a wipe about now and it had only been a month.  

What would he be like as the days and months came?  Who would he even be in the end?  What the hell was happening to him?

The man briefly closed his eyes and looked down at the map sitting on the floor of the run-down room he was in.  Already he had a list, a mission.  He would find out what they had done to him.  He would eliminate the threat that these people were, and save anyone else who were going through the ‘process’.  

One memory he had often is of writing.  Writing the one called Steve, his friend, his… mate?  He knew somewhere inside him that Steve would be trying to follow him despite him telling the man that he had to find himself first.  If Steve were hurt while following him around, then the man would never be able to forgive himself.  He had been keeping all his memories/flashes written down in a leather-bound book.  He never wanted to forget these again, he wanted something to compare with to make sure he was not going crazy and the flashes were real.

Picking up a pen and notepad, the man formerly known only as the Asset began to write.  

_ Steven Rogers, _

_ I do not know why I write these.  I still do not even know who you are, who I am. _

_ These flashes continue.  I do not know if they are real. _

_ You were in this one, but you were smaller.  Younger.  Younger than the picture I had seen at the museum.  You were watching a little girl with dark brown hair.  She was cooking with an older woman, irish accent, blond hair, blue eyes, early 30s.  Sarah, I think her name was.   _

_ The boy with dark hair, I think was me.  I told the little girl how her mother is an angel.  I gave her a stuffed toy. _

_ It is one of the few flashes from a time I do not remember.  The city was dirty, run down.  I think it was New York, but I do not remember New York looking like that when I had my mission. _

_ None of this makes sense.  But I will find out the truth. _

_ Do not follow me. _

Placing the small note in his pocket, the man reached into the bag by the far wall and pulled out some weapons.  Tonight he would get some answers.  He would eliminate any trace of the ‘Winter Soldier’ notes from Hydra and he would claim what they took from him.  No matter the cost.

~~~***~~~***

 


	2. 1.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finds out some things that put his own memories to the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: There will be new warnings for this chapter. This part will be touching on Bucky’s past and his family. Alcohol abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse will all be in this chapter. If that makes you uncomfortable, the first part of this chapter is not really needed to understand the story. Just know that it may get a little graphic.  
> Secondly, let me tell you, this is the part of this series I have been looking forward to writing. This is actually what I started with (and came back to once in a while to make some changes or add some stuff) but I knew had to get the background down first. This will be LONG, it will be a slow-burn type fic. There will be a lot of bad moments for both of our guys, and for everyone as memories resurface and Hydra is hunted down. Hope you all enjoy what will be one wild ride.

~~~***~~~***

1.2

Steve had come back to Sam’s place after his run that morning to be quickly ushered to shower, change and get in the car.  Steve had no clue what was going on, or where they were going but he could only trust Sam with what he had planned.  Sam had been a life-saver for Steve since they had met, including doing a search for Bucky’s siblings.  Steve wasn’t sure what he would say to them, but he felt that he had to.  Steve knew he should have tried to look them up when he had first returned, let them know he was even alive before they had seen it on the TV.  Growing up, the Barnes’ family had been as much his as his own family had been.  Steve had even listed them as his emergency contacts with the military.  After couple hours driving, the two pulled up in front of an old cobblestone houses outside of New York.  “Ok, are you going to tell me what we’re doing,” Steve asked as he looked over at the house.

“You asked me to find some people, see if they were even still around right?”  Sam nodded toward the house and shrugged like it was nothing of major importance.  “I already called them, they’re waiting for you.”  Sam looked over at Steve to see his friend’s scared look.  It something Sam never thought he would see out of Steve even in the short time the two had known each other.  “The oldest… Lucille and um.. Elmer are still alive.  From what I was able to find out, Myrtle passed about fifteen years ago, heart problem or something.”

Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of the house in front of him, almost berating himself for the sudden fear that was creeping up in him.  He hadn’t been this nervous when he had first seen Peggy again after so many years so he wasn’t sure why he would be nervous now.  Closing his eyes briefly, Steve wanted to kick himself.  He knew why.  Unlike Peggy, the ones most likely sitting inside that house were family.  They were a part of his distant past with Bucky that no one else had been.  They were a part of Bucky, and they were his own ‘siblings’.  “What did you tell them?”

Sam reached over to place his hand on Steve’s shoulder.  “Well they of course knew you were alive, hell who in the world doesn’t by now.  I didn’t tell them anything about… well you know, but they asked if they could see you.  That frankly they had been hoping you would have stopped by earlier,” Sam gave a small smile.  “Honestly, I wasn’t even sure when you asked if any of them would be alive.”

Steve laughed slightly, shaking his head.  “Mid-eighties are not that old.”

“This coming from the ninety-five year old man.”  Sam lightly punched Steve on the shoulder and started to try and push him out of the door.  “Now get your ass out of the car and get a move on, Soldier.  I aint getting any damn younger here.”

Steve reached out for the handle and slowly made his way up to the front door.  This was it, a moment he hadn’t allowed himself to think of in a long time.  One time, long ago, Steve had figured they would all be having family dinners way in the future.  Lucille, Myrtle, Elmer, Bucky and him.  They would all be married, children and grand children running around.  All just grateful to be alive and happy they were all together.  Steve didn’t even get a chance to knock when the door opened before him and he was quickly engulfed in a hug.  “I’ll be dammed, if it isn’t Steven Grant Rogers coming to finally see us,” an older man said with a smile on his face.  

“Elmer,” Steve said with a large smile himself.  Elmer had looked quite a bit like Bucky when they had been kids and he looked exactly like what Steve had pictured an old Bucky.  “Thank you for having me.”

“Come in, Lucy and the kids are waiting for you,” Elmer held out his hand for Sam and ushered the two men deeper into the house.  Steve could see a family who had loved, who had stuck together for through all the world could throw at them.  Steve stopped briefly as he spotted a picture that was hanging in just by the living room.  “That is one of my favorites, the last one taken of all of us.”  It was May 1942, right before Bucky had shipped out to England.  Bucky had grabbed his younger siblings and Steve to take them all out for a ‘day on the town’.  Steve could still feel Bucky sitting next to him as Steve sketched the sight before him.  The younger Barnes’ were playing in the park without a care in the world.  

“That you,” Sam asked as he stood beside Steve looking over the picture.  “Looking good.  When was that?”

Steve looked at the picture again, giving a small smile as the let the memories flood his mind.  “May 1942.  Bucky was about to get shipped out, this was just days from when I went to training myself.”  Steve turned away from the photo and walked fully into the small living room.  He could see touches of Bucky’s mom throughout the room.  There was a large fireplace in the far corner of the room, a picture of Bucky in uniform sitting on top of the mantel.  “Lucy,” Steve asked as he reached the beautiful woman sitting on the couch.  “You look more beautiful than I remember.”

Lucy laughed lightly punching Steve on the arm.  “It looks like the years have at least allowed you to talk to women, I see.”

Steve laughed as he ran his hands over his face. “Oh don’t remind me.  Those were very traumatic years.”  Steve leaned down and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.  “Sam, I want you to meet Lucille and Elmer.  My siblings not by blood.”

“As often as you and Bucky were around each other, I have to say we’re as close to a family as one can get,” Elmer stated as he moved to sit beside his sister.  The two went and introduced Steve to the rest of the family that had gather and they all sat around to try and catch up on what they had all missed over the years.  Steve was grateful that they had all had a happy life, each married and had children.  They had stayed close, prospered through the years.  “I have to ask… and I hope you will forgive me.  They never really told us what happened.  All we got was a letter saying Bucky was Missing presumed dead.  We tried to find out what happened, worried about you, but…”  

_ They both heard the sound of a weapon powering up and turned, Steve pushing Bucky behind him and raising his shield.  Bucky watched in horror as Steve slammed against the wall, not even noticing the blast had taken out the wall next to him.  Picking up Steve's shield Bucky held it in front of him and opened fire.  He had to draw attention away from Steve until he could get up.  The blast hit him right on the shield knocking Bucky back through the open hole.  Steve heard the blast and saw Bucky fall. Throwing his shield, Steve didn't even wait to see if he had knocked the shooter out as he made his way toward the gaping hole in the side of the car.  "Bucky! Hang on!"  Steve grabbed a hold of a rail and started to try and make his way out to Bucky.  He could see the piece that Bucky was hanging on was starting to give way and Bucky hadn't had the chance to get his feet up.  "Grab my hand," Steve tried to reach out just inches away from Bucky's hand.  He watched in horror as the rail that Bucky was holding finally gave way, their fingers just barely touching.  "NO!"  Steve felt as if the world had come to a stop.  He watched as Bucky fell and all Steve wanted to do was go after him.  "No... Bucky..."   _

_ Steve wasn't sure how long he had held onto the side staring out at the river below.  He pulled himself back inside and could only sit there staring at the open hole, his left hand still reaching out to grab Bucky's own.  All he could see was Bucky holding his shield, Bucky falling, his hand reaching out to Steve's.  He had failed and now Steve felt like his whole world had ended.  Without Bucky what did he have? _

Elmer and Lucy watched as Steve got a far away look in his eyes and they both felt bad for even asking.  “Never mind.  We both keep forgetting that even though it has been years for us for you…”

Steve shook his head slightly, clearing his thoughts.  “No, no.  It’s ok, really.”  Steve stood and went over to the photo of Bucky in uniform, hoping it can give him strength.  That day still haunted him, invaded his dreams at night.  Always so close….  “We were on a mission to take Zola, Hydra’s main scientist into custody.  Bucky and I got separated.  When met up again a Hydra agent fired at us and I got knocked down.  Bucky… He grabbed my shield to take the fire away from me.  Unfortunately the blast opened a hole in the side of the train.  Bucky got knocked out of it, just barely hanging on.  I tried to get to him but the bar he was hanging on broke.”

Lucy stood and went over to Steve to give him a small hug.  “It was in a way what I had hoped, he died doing what made him happy.  He was by your side, doing what he always felt he had to.  Bucky always wanted to protect those he cared about no matter the cost to himself.”

“There’s more….” Steve began.

“Steve,” Sam tried to interrupt not sure it was wise to continue.

“They deserve to know, Sam.  One day it will come out, and I think they should know.”  Steve led Lucille back to the couch and sat down on the table before her and Elmer.  “There’s more.  You know that Bucky’s unit had been captured by Hydra back in 43?”  When Steve got an affirmative nod from both.  “They experimented on Bucky, trying to recreate the serum I got.  He seemed fine, all tests came back normal so the military didn’t think it was anything.  But…”  Steve let out a deep breath and reached out to hold Lucy’s hand.  “Whatever they did to him then… Bucky survived the fall.”

“What?  How,” Lucy asked her voice shaking slightly.

“I found him, about a month ago.  He didn’t remember anything.  Hydra had him, they…tortured him.  But he’s alive.”  Steve saw the tears falling down both their faces as he held both of their hands.  “Before you ask, I don’t know where he is right now.  He told me he wanted to try and get better.  He’s getting his memories back and he swore he would come back once he is ready.”

Elmer closed his eyes and wrapped his arm that wasn’t being held by Steve around his sister.  “How did he look?”

‘Tired.  They used Cryogenic suspension or whatever to keep him from aging too much.”  Steve watched as Sam reached into his pocket and handed over a computer printout.  Steve looked at it and before him was Bucky.  “Where did you get that?”

“Surveillance from the Smithsonian.  You said he had mentioned going there so I started digging,” Sam said with a shrug.  “Figured you might want it.”

Steve looked down at the picture of Bucky and felt his heart skip a beat.  The tired look in his friend’s eyes were visible even in the awful security picture.  Steve felt Lucy’s hand on his shoulder and he glanced up and gave her a small smile.  “You will find him, bring him home?”

“I swear to you, to both of you.”  No matter how long it took, or what he had to do Steve would find Bucky.

Elmer leaned back on the couch and slowly ran his shaking hand over his face.  “Bucky always looked out for all of us.  He never cared what happened to him as long as we all were safe… He was tortured?”  Steve could only nod slightly, hating the lost look on the two’s faces.  Steve saw their children come over and comfort their parents.  “I had hoped once he left the house he would be able to find some peace…”  Steve looked at both with confusion and Elmer could only shake his head.  “He never did tell you did he?”

“Tell me what,” Steve asked wondering what had he missed.

Lucy reached over to grab Steve’s hand once again.  “Our father… well let’s say he wasn’t always the best man around.  He drank, a lot.  Elmer and Myrtle were young, but I remember.  George M. Barnes used to beat Bucky almost nightly.”

Steve felt the air come out of his lungs and he couldn’t believe it.  “What?  Bucky never said…  All those times I thought he had gotten into a fight.”

“Oh he got into fights for sure, there is no doubt about that when it came to the two of you,” Elmer laughed.  “But that wasn’t all.  Our father when he got drunk, he liked to take it all out on Bucky.  From what we found out later, George used to beat up on mom, Bucky stepped in one day.  From that moment on, Bucky became the target.”

“Bucky always made sure we were never touched, and George never laid a hand on any of us.  We heard a lot of their arguments.  George thought that Bucky was gay, and he would scream that no son of his would be a ‘no good pansy’ that he would teach Bucky how to be a man.”  Steve went white as he heard the two start to explain.  “I always thought that maybe the two of you would one day get together, if you weren’t already.  Bucky swore you weren’t like that, that… you were no sinner.  His words not mine.  Not once did he say anything about himself, but he would make sure YOU were protected.  That was the way he always was.”

Steve closed his eyes and ran a hand over them.  “We weren’t, then.  We both knew, I think but…”

Elmer gave a smile of his own and looked over at his sister.  “We had hoped you were, honestly.  You were the one thing that made him happy.”

“He never told me, I thought… I never knew,” Steve began wondering how many times he had seen bruises on Bucky only to have Bucky brush it off as nothing.  

“Some nights it was bad.  I remember finding Bucky curled up on the floor blocking our door to keep George from coming our way.  Black eye, bloody lips.  Once in a while you could see bruises on his ribs or elsewhere.  The worst was right before he went to move in with you.  I thought George was going to kill him.”  Lucy could only look down at the security photo and trace Bucky’s face with her fingers.  “I don’t know what had caused it, why it was so bad.  Our step mom was as usual with her church group or somewhere.  But I know I was so scared.  I snuck out of my room and all I remember seeing was Bucky curled up on the floor, blood looked like it was everywhere.  George was whipping Bucky with his belt, full arm swings.  George finally stopped and when he went to the couch to pass out I remember trying to help clean Bucky up.  His back was… I remember Bucky telling me he was scared, he couldn’t do it anymore but he didn’t want to leave us.  He was afraid that if he left that George would come after us.”  Lucy wiped the tear that started to flow down her face.  “I was afraid if Bucky stayed, George would kill him one night, so I told him we would be fine.  That he had to go, to save himself.”

“George never laid a hand on us,” Elmer answered the question in Steve’s eyes.

“Does this guy ever get a damn break,” Sam said shaking his head.  

Steve felt his heart break even more at the horrors that Bucky had gone through.  Lucy moved over to give Steve a hug.  “You find him, and you bring him home.”

~~~***~~~***

**_ January 1937 _ **

_ Bucky could only stand outside the door and take a deep breath.  It had been a long day of work and all Bucky wanted to do was go straight to bed.  He only hoped that fucking Genna was at the apartment that night, his pa always was in a better mood when she was around.  After opening the door, Bucky immediately knew that he would get no sleep that night as the smell of alcohol filtered throughout the apartment.  All Bucky could do was hope that his dad was already passed out as he made his way through the small apartment toward his room. “Where the hell have you been, boy?  I hope you aren’t doing anything to that boy, Steve.  He’s a good boy.” _

_ Bucky stopped briefly in the living room and closed his eyes.  “I was working.”  Bucky started to make his way through the living room, hoping to avoid any problem.   _

_ “Work?  I bet you were out at that club for pansy’s like you.  Did you have someone try and suck your cock, or were you the one on your knees, boy?”  George reached over and grabbed a hold of Bucky’s arm stopping him from leaving the room.  “I know what I saw that one day.  I know what you are, and you’re no son of mine.  If I have to protect that Rogers boy from you, I will.  You will obey me.” _

_ Bucky ripped his arm from his father’s drunken grasp and turned to get right in his face.  “You don’t know the first fucking thing about me, old man.  I would NEVER do anything to hurt Steve.  Steve isn’t like that.  You leave him out of this.  You think you know me, you think I’m some damn cock-sucker, let me tell you I can still beat you.  I’m not like you, I never will be.  And if I was, it is better than what you are.  A no good, drunk, wife beating sack of shit.”  Bucky knew his mouth would one day get him into trouble, but he had reach his limit with it all.  Bucky blocked the fist as it flew to his face, and pushed his old man away.  “Why don’t you go and sleep it off before you regret the day you ever raised a hand against me.  I will kill you.” _

_ “Are you threatening me?  Me?  I gave you life, you little shit,” Bucky didn’t move in time as he felt the bottle smash against the side of his head.  “I can take it away.”  Bucky felt blood start to flow into his eyes, he felt light headed. His arms felt like heavy as he felt a boot on the back of his head holding him down.  “I will not have a pansy for a son.  I will not have you corrupt that Rogers boy.  If I have to beat it out of you, I will.”  Bucky could only close his eyes as he felt his shirt get ripped and heard the sound of his pa removing his belt.  Fear coursed through his viens as he began to try and get up.  His father wouldn’t try and violate him would he, Bucky wondered.  His answer came in the form of sudden pain as the heavy leather came crashing down across his back.   _

_ Bucky could feel the blood start to flow not only from his head, but now his back, arms, legs, any part of his body his father could reach.  He placed his hands over his head to try and protect himself.  Bucky still felt that he never would survive to see the morning.  His only regret was that Steve would never know what happened to him, that he loved him.  He wouldn’t be around to see his siblings grow up.  All he could feel was pain as the flesh started to be ripped from his back.   _

_ Bucky didn’t know how long he had suffered, thinking maybe he had passed out at some point.  All he knew was that when he opened his eyes, Lucy was leaning over him trying to help him up.  He could see the blood all over the floor, his blood.  “I can’t do this anymore… I can’t…” He cried feeling sick and ashamed that his little sister had seen it.  He couldn’t do it anymore.  He wouldn’t  survive.  Bucky knew the next time, his father would kill him. _

~~~***~~~***

The knife embedded deep into the wall as the man who used to be Bucky recalled the feeling of helplessness his own father had forced upon him.  How his own father had forced his little sister to clean him up.  Hydra wasn’t the only ones to make him feel that way and the man wondered if that thing was still alive.  

No one should ever feel helpless, no one should ever do what that thing, and Hydra did.  

His mission was clear.  They would all pay so that no one else had to go through what he had.  He would find out what they had done to him and he would make sure that they never touched another person.

~~~***~~~***

“Pull over,” Steve quietly said as Sam drove them down the streets.  “Please.”  Sam quickly pulled the car off to the side of the road and Steve didn’t waste any time to jump out.  He felt all the contents of his stomach surge up and out.  He felt sick.  It took a few good minutes before Steve felt that there was nothing left and he just sat down against the wall of the alley they had parked near.  “He never told me,” Steve breathed as he put his head between his knees hoping to stop his stomach from rolling.  “I saw the bruises, I saw his back… he always said that he had gotten into a fight.  I never thought…”

Sam moved to sit down next to Steve and placed his hand on Steve’s neck in hopes to help calm him.  “Most of those who are abused will do that.  They will say they fell, tripped, whatever.  They wouldn’t tell anyone that someone they loved or someone who is supposed to protect them did that.  Most think it is their fault that they made the other person do that to them.”

“I looked up to his dad.  I thought he was the greatest guy.  What he did to Bucky…”

“It isn’t your fault either, you know.  If nothing else, you saved him.  He left and moved in with you.  Who knows what would have happened if he had stayed,” Sam explained.  

“I should have known.  I should have…”

“There was nothing you could have done then, and nothing you can do now.  All you can do now is put that anger toward finding him.”

~~~***~~~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Fixed Bucky's father's name. In the comics his Family is as Follows: George M. Barnes (father, deceased); Winnifred C. Barnes (mother, deceased); Ida (aunt, presumed deceased), unidentified niece and nephew; Scott Proctor (grandnephew); Kimberly Proctor (grandniece)  
> Rebecca P. Barnes Proctor (sister); Proctor (first name unrevealed, brother-in-law)  
> I am not however changing the sibling names. Will keep mine versions on that one :)


	3. 1.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Search continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had hoped to have had this posted yesterday but was using an older laptop and I lost part of what I had written. Of course it was perfect Tony I had written, and now... yeah now don't think I got him right. sigh. Oh well. Already working on next part so hopefully will have that right and up within the week. (esp since Sunday is last reg season game of BB and if I don't throw something at my TV at my damn Tigers.... grrrr I should be in the right frame of mind hehe)  
> Thank you all so much for the love and support. It means so much to me. i am never sure about my writing and always pause on the submit button I have to admit, but you all have made this so easy. Thank you. One day I do plan to post my earlier works from the last 20 years or so. Don't think they are posted anymore on the web... hmmmm.  
> But thank you all. Means the world to me you all have stuck with this and I haven't screwed it all up too badly. If I could hug you all I would.  
> Please note the changes in some of the warnings...

~~~***~~~***

1.3

July 2014

He was James Barnes.  He could admit that part at least.  It had been almost two months since the DC battle and the fall of his ‘masters’ and since then he had been traveling non-stop.  He had already eliminate the list he had left at the memorial and had a whole new list formed.  A few more stops in the US then it was on the road overseas.  The memories however had been a constant stream in his mind, and the only way he could clear it was when he was attacking one of the Hydra bases.  Then he could clear his mind completely and just complete his mission.  James never left anyone alive, always checked their computers and files for anything on him.  So far James was getting a little better picture of what they had done to him.  

Pulling out his computer he loaded yet another file onto it and started to read the file.  : Date : December 16, 1991

_ “One target, collateral acceptable.  Make it look like an accident. “ was what the asset was told.  He was given maps, photographs of the target, diagrams of the vehicle the target would be in.  The plan had been simple, two shots: one through the radiator cap angled down to clip the break fluid line as well, the second to the power steering fluid line.  The asset had spent five hours testing on cars similar to the type the target would be driving, making sure he could get the shots right.   _

_ ‘Make it look like an accident.  Leave no evidence.” _

_ The Asset laid down on the ground, high above the road below to wait.  The Target had left hours before for a gathering, would be traveling down the road below him on his way back to their residence.  It was just before midnight as the Asset noticed a set of headlights coming down the road and he lined up his shot.  Looking through his site, he saw the target and a women next to him arguing.  Something about the Target looked familiar to him, something began to pull deep inside him as he briefly closed his eyes.  Lining up, he fired mist from the radiator coming up from under the hood and he took his second shot.  In less than five seconds, two shots fired, the car with the target began to spin out of control hitting the mountain side on it’s right, then flipping up into the air and down the hill on the left.  The Asset continued to look through his scope, trying to get another look at the target.  The small part of him that was still a man had hoped the driver had escaped, that either had survived.  Shaking those thoughts out of his mind, the Asset watched as a van stopped to allow other Hydra agents out to check.   _

_ The Asset lowered his gun and began to dismantle it, picking up the casings from his rifle to pocket them.  The sudden feelings of shame and regret were starting to take place inside him  He was malfunctioning it was the only possibility.   _

_ The Asset couldn’t stop thinking that he knew the Target. _

Closing his eyes, James leaned his head against the wall.  Howard Stark, the cocky little shit during the war, who had helped the Commandos so many times with weapons and gear.  Just one life of many that he had taken from this world.  Because of him, a life of a friend had ended. _‘Your work has been a gift to mankind.  You shaped the century,’_ Pierce had told him.  If he could have killed a friend who else did Hydra have him kill?  Who’s life ended by his hand that changed the world?  

James stood and placed the file inside the small safe under the bed.  Pulling out a map, he checked off one more location.  Almost all the bases in the United States were eliminated, all the ones that had a hand in making him the _THING_ he had become.  When James was done, Hydra would never again be able to do to another person what they had done to him.  Two more locations, New York City and Miami Florida.  Grabbing his bag, James began to pack in as many weapons as he could - filling it to capacity, then filling another with all other items he needed.  

After making sure all the information he had gathered around the bases he had hit so far was secured in the safe, James picked up his bags and headed out to a jeep waiting outside.  

He would be back to this location once his hunt was over, once Hydra was eliminated.  

__

~~~***~~~***

Steve motioned to Sam as the two slowly entered though a skylight.  It has been two months since Steve had seen or heard from Bucky.  Two months since he had last laid eyes on his best friend at the memorial at Arlington.  Since then with Sam by his side, they had gone on a wild-goose chase following a list that Steve had found on the ground after Bucky had left.  Two months since the events in DC, in which Steve and Sam worked their way through the US following any lead they could find.  Each destroyed base they found lead to another and another.  Steve was beginning to wonder if they would ever be able to find all the Hydra bases, let alone if they would ever be able to catch up with Bucky.  Each location they had gone to was a Hydra base, the only thing was most had already been cleared out.  Computers had been wiped, and the trail of bodies that were being left behind actually made both men wonder about Bucky’s sanity.  

Some places however, it appeared that Bucky had either not been there yet or felt that it had no connection to him.  Steve and Sam both had been shocked at what they had been able to find at these locations.  People in cages being experimented on, people who could end up like Bucky.  So far they had found six and immediately delivered them to Stark who had silently taken over the role of what SHIELD had been, at least the connections that SHIELD had.  Steve knew that they would get the best help they could to return to the life they lived before.  He had heard rumors that SHIELD was still active, and not at all connected to Tony, but where they where he had no idea.  They weren’t around to help him now as they moved across the nation taking out as many Hydra bases as they could.  

“Think this base will be like the rest,” Sam asked as they quietly moved toward a door at the far end of one of the hallways.  “I mean, you’re guy hasn’t really been leaving a lot for us to do.  I mean we have hit what.. Ten, fifteen bases so far and for the most part what we find is dead bodies and half-wiped computers.”  Sam could only follow behind Steve as he began to make his way down the stairs.  Sam immediately quieted down, hoping for some sign of life, for something but all he heard was their own breathing and dead silence. With his gun out, Sam slowly opened the door to the fourth floor and knew they were too late.  “He beat us again.”

Steve bent down to one of the bodies to feel for a pulse, anything to give him an idea of how long ago Bucky or whoever had been there.  “Cold,” Steve stepped over some of the bodies by the door and made his way further into the hallway.  “Besides, Sam we’re not sure it is Bucky that is doing all of this.”

“Riiight.  Dead Hydra agents, Computer systems hacked and ready for us to get whatever we want... Well unless it has anything to do with the Winter Soldier.  Those files seem to be gone,” Sam in part, hoped it was Barnes and not Hydra cleaning house.  They both knew that if the only files missing were on the Winter Soldier Program, it could be for a few reasons.  Either Hydra was wanting to recreate the project or to use it on Bucky when they caught him again.  Either that or it was Barnes wanting to remove all evidence of what was going on.  Sam hoped it was Barnes and not Hydra or - heaven-forbid, some secret Government group.  Yeah, Sam thought, I’ll say it’s Barnes for it is the best option.  

Sam and Steve separated knowing that they would find little resistance in that building to search for any information.  Before they left they would gather up all documents, all information on the computer systems they could and blow the place.   Sam went down to the lower basement levels and froze as soon as he opened one of the doors.  “Fuck me,” he called out.  In the middle of the room sat a lone chair, much like others they had found but this time there was a lone man in a white lab coat laying on top of the chair.  Sam didn’t even hear Steve come in behind him, all he could see was what was left of the man in the chair. Strapped down by metal clasps around each wrist and bicep, the metal face mask over the man’s head as blood pooled down onto the floor from wounds to the man’s chest and face.  His eyes looked to have been removed from their sockets, leaving black holes where they should have been.  

Sam walked closer to the man and realized that his eyes hadn’t been removed, they exploded out of his head by whatever that mask over his head did.  “Please don’t tell me this is the shit they did to Barnes,” he asked suddenly seeing a flash in his mind of Bucky being strapped to this very table.  “I mean, we have seen these before, but...”

Steve made his way over to a machine next to the chair.  “Electroshocks.  They used this to try and wipe his memories,” Steve answered as he, himself, tried not to get sick at the thought.  “The file Natasha gave us said they would hook Bucky up to machines and zap or whatever parts of his brain before missions.  I had a feeling these chairs were used for that, but...”

Sam turned away from what remained of the doctor or whoever in the chair.  “It is one thing to read that shit but... This,” he yelled as he pointed to the chair.  “I have seen _Faces of Death_ and I saw those electrocutions, the damn guy’s eyes would pop right out of their heads, and this is the shit they did to him?  Every time?”

Steve went to the machine and powered it on.  He would make sure that this chair was never used on anyone else again, as he began to power it up to full power and beyond.  Glancing over at the doctor on the chair, Steve felt nothing.  If this was one of the men who had done this to Bucky, then he deserved whatever was done to him.  He wouldn’t feel bad, his only regret is that he wasn’t able to extract some revenge himself.  “Gather up what you can, we have thirty minutes before this goes critical and blows,” Steve told Sam as they turned from the room.  As soon as Sam ran up the stairs to grab what he could and get the hell out of there, Steve turned back to the man spotting a piece of paper hidden in one of the pockets of the lab coat.  Grabbing it, Steve followed Sam to finish what they came to do.  

Once they were safely outside, thumb-drives and files being loaded up into the car, the two quickly drove off waiting for the explosion that would rock that building.  As the building suddenly exploded like a gas main that had burst, Sam shook his head and didn’t look back.  “You know we have to try and get someone to take a look at these files right?  See if there is anything we can go on.  Cause let me tell you, he is not only one step ahead of us, he is a damn planet away.”

“Head to Stark Tower,” Steve said.  He had tried to avoid bringing anyone else in except to help with the people they had found, but Steve knew he was way out of his league when it came to computers.  Steve directed Sam where to park, as the two got out of the car and grabbed what they could from the trunk.  “I’m here to see Tony Stark,” Steve said with a small smile toward the receptionist behind the desk.  It wasn’t long  before Pepper came out of one of the back offices with a smile and a hug.  “Ms. Potts.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, call me Pepper,” Pepper said as she released Steve from a hug.  “It’s been too long,” she said turning to Sam.  “Pepper Potts, you must be Sam Wilson.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Sam said as he shook her hand.  In all the time with Steve he had only met a few of the Avengers, few being Natasha and Fury.  Knowing he was going to finally meet the great Tony Stark, and Pepper Potts was just out of this world for him.  “I must say, it is a pleasure to finally meet such a strong, wonderful woman,” he said as he leaned down and gave her hand a slight kiss.

“She’s taken,” Steve said as he lead Sam toward the elevator behind Pepper.  “I hope we aren’t interrupting anything.”  The three exited the elevator and walked to a large room covered wall to wall with computers, gear, gadgets.  To Steve it looked almost like a place where a mad scientist should be residing.  

“Ahhh Captain my Captain,” a dark-haired man glanced up from one of the work stations, goggles over his eyes and soldering iron in one hand.  “And... Who’s this?  Pepper?  Who is that?  Is he cleared to be here?  I didn’t clear him.”

Pepper walked over to one of the side tables and picked up a plate of food to place down beside Tony.  “Tony, this is Sam Wilson.  He was with Natasha and Steve in DC.”

“Did we run a check, he’s not Hydra is he?  He’s Hydra.”

“Tony...” Pepper began shaking her head and rolling her eyes.  “He’s not Hydra.  When was the last time you slept, I told you to get some sleep.... And eat,” she said shoving the plate of food at him.

Tony grabbed a small sandwich off the plate and bit into it.  “i have things to do, and besides I slept for ... An hour.”  Tony turned his attention to Sam and looked him up and down.  “Are we sure he’s not Hydra?”

Steve shook his own head and tried not to laugh.  “Trust me, he’s not.  I’ll vouch for him.”  Steve walked over and looked over Tony’s shoulder to see what the man was working on.  “What’s that?”

Tony tapped Steve’s hand with the hot iron and glared up at him.  “Trust me, nothing you’ll understand, Spangles.  And you’re positive.  Something about finding out you are on some secret kill list by a mid-evil terrorist group hiding inside a group that you’re own blood created can make one just a little ...” he began then turned back to Pepper.  “Jarvis, bring up what you have on Mr. Wilson.”

“Delay that, Jarvis,” Pepper stated and placed a file down beside Tony.  “Trust me, if nothing else.  I’ll protect you.”

“Fine,” Tony stood and leaned against the table to look at Steve.  “What can I do for you?  If it is to get back at the ones who in essence killed my childhood, I’m in.”  

Steve handed over the bag that he had been carrying to Tony and followed him over to a computer bay in one of the corners.  “I’m not sure what is on all of these, but it is everything we have been able to gather.  I’m hoping it can help you figure out what they were doing to all those people.”

Pepper stood beside Tony’s chair as information was slowly coming up on the screen.  “We have them in a safe place, the best doctors.  Just hearing some of the stories...”  Pepper laid her hand on Steve’s shoulder, giving him a small smile.  “Thank you for bringing them to us, Steve.  They are getting the best possible care.”

Tony began reading some of the file names, moving files that didn’t matter at the moment and highlighting ones that did.  “I’ve been meaning to ask, who’s bright idea was it to put all that stuff on the internet?”

Sam laughed a little and leaned against one of the tables near-by the computers.  “I think it was all of us, but Natasha was the one who actually released it all.”

“Figures,” Tony cursed as he continued to skim through some of the files.  “And Fury?  Bet he is living the life now that he doesn’t have to be all one-eyed, creepy spy.”

“He’s following leads in Europe last I knew,” Steve answered.  He may not have always liked Fury but he had to respect him for having the strength to step aside when it was needed.

Tony’s head quickly snapped up.  “Ha knew that old bastard wasn’t dead.”

Sam looked over at Steve, confused.  “You didn’t know?”  Seeing Tony’s shit-eating grin Sam knew they had just fallen into Tony’s trap.  “I’m amazed Hill didn’t tell you.”

“She knew?  She’s fired.  Pepper, Hill needs to know who she works for, and it’s not Fury.”

Pepper placed her hand on Tony’s shoulder to keep him from calling Maria up to the lab.  “Tony, I’m sure she had her reasons.  I’ll talk to her.”

Tony turned back to the computer, pulling up information and shaking his head.  “Experiments, the number of people who didn’t survive... Wasn’t Hawkeye in Africa?”

“I don’t know.  The only one I have seen was Natasha and that was two months ago.  What kind of experiments,” Steve asked.  Steve could still see in his mind’s eye the scared, some injured men, women and children they had pulled out of cages.  Some looked like they had been beaten, starved, some even raped.  Steve had flashbacks to when he had found the remains of the 107th back in 43, and having found some of the prisoners strapped to beds had caused Steve to pause as he could only see Bucky strapped there.  He could just imagine some of the experiments that Hydra was doing.  Steve only half listened as the memories of so many years ago continued to flash through his mind.  Knowing what he had discovered in recent months, Steve couldn’t help but wonder if he shouldn’t have done things differently back then.  If he shouldn’t have pushed Bucky to see the doctors, to find out what Zola had done to him, to have kept him in London instead of let him go with them that fatal mission to capture Zola.  He was brought back by Tony calling his name loudly and shook the thoughts out of his head.  “Sorry what?”

“i was asking if I have the two of you for all the Hydra bases being taken out and frankly the number of urgent phone calls from Rhodey and General Talbot,” Tony asked turning in his seat to stare at the two.  “Not that I’m complaining, but since I am the one who is not only getting the calls and questions asked of me, but I am the one who is getting all of the Hydra POW’s... You know if you plan to keep this up,  you will need our help.”

“We’re doing fine.  Besides most of the bases were already cleared out by the time we arrived,” Steve could feel a headache  starting to form behind his eyes.  He didn’t want to try and explain it all to Tony, hell to anyone.  ‘Let’s just see what we can find out, locations, projects, anything from what  you have.  I want to be back on the road by the end of the week.”

“What’s the hurry,” Tony leaned back in his chair.  “Look, I know I wasn’t there during that whole DC mess, but then again it wasn’t like you nor Widow told us about it.  But we’re all dealing with the fallout, and we’re a team.  Hydra is a danger to us all, to everyone, and I know they can’t be taken out by just the two of you.  Let me make some calls, we’ll get the gang together go through the data we have here and start hitting Hydra where it counts.  The two of you can’t do this all by yourself, unless there is something you’re not telling me.”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath.  “I appreciate the help but really Sam and I can handle it.”  Closing his eyes trying to calm the rising irritation building inside him, he signed.  “If you want to help, fine what places you find in those files, you guys are more than welcome to take care of.  We’ll be heading to Europe most likely by the end of the week.”

“Steve... You know he’s one step ahead of us, if they can help us get ahead of him...” Sam tried to explain.  

Steve took another deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm himself.  “Sam, you don’t have to go with me, you know that.  I appreciate you coming but I can do this on my own.”

“Steve,” Sam began.

Tony could only look between the two, taking note of Steve’s look of anger.  “Him?”

Steve looked at Tony, “Just see what you can come up with to help the ones Hydra had.  I’m heading to Europe by Friday.”  Steve turned and walked out of the room.  He knew he had to get away before he lost it.  Finding Bucky was his responsibility,  is what he had to do.  He hoped that  Sam would come with him, but Steve also knew he was being selfish.  This was his mistake, his battle to fight.  He would bring Bucky home and if Sam were to get hurt during this Steve would never be able to forgive himself.  

Tony looked over at Sam as the door closed behind Steve.  “What is up with him?  I mean I know he had a stick up his ass at times but this is even a little much for him.  And don’t say he’s had a difficult few months, I can guess that but this is more.  And who is ‘him’?”

Sam leaned back a little more with his arms crossed over his chest.  “it’s been a REALLY tough few months. And the him... Well that would be his buddy, Barnes.”

Tony couldn’t respond to that, just stare in disbelief.  He had some digging to do.  One World War II vet is one thing but another?  “Barnes, as in James Buchanan Barnes, as is Howling Commando Bucky Barnes... Captain America’s side-kick?”

“I wouldn’t tell Steve that.  But yeah.  Trust me, it’s a long story,” Sam ran his hand over his face.  Long was a complete understatement.  “I think Steve would be best to explain it but I’ll say yeah, that Barnes.”

Something was going on and Tony was determined to find out what it was.

~~~***~~~***

Steve walked into his old apartment and threw his keys down on the table beside the door.  He was angry and he knew that the anger he was feeling wasn’t normally him.  In the past month, Steve knew he had started to feel a little out of control.  Anger had bubbled up in him, he would enjoy the fight like he had never felt before.  Steve could only guess it was the finding Bucky and learning what had been done to his friend, to his ‘mate’.  Steve knew that with this Alpha/Omega dynamic he would want to help Bucky and want to be near him, but Steve wasn’t sure if that was fully it.  It had to be, but Steve hated to feel out of control.  He could control it, but he hated it all.  

Pulling a beer out of the fridge, Steve sat down on the couch and pulled out the letter he had found in the dead doctor’s pocket.  

_ Steve, _

_ Half of the time I am not sure who to address these to, Captain, Steve, Stevie, Rogers, Mission... I remember what I had called you before but it doesn’t feel right.  Maybe one day it will again.  Then again, I’m not sure what I should call myself.  I know what name I was born with, what name I had.  We look alike, like I can be him but that doesn’t feel right either.  I was the Asset and The Soldier for so long, I don’t know if I can be anything else.  Am I even anyone else?  Can I be the person from before?   _

_ I get flashes sometimes when I am walking down the street.  Flashes of a past I don’t remember but it always slips away.  Other times though...   _

_ I found a file on one of my missions, I remember the briefing, the mission, blood.  Then I have a flash of the man’s face, younger, cocky SOB.  I remembered sharing a drink with him once before.  Some how I know he was not the only one from before I had killed.  I am sure there were more. All I know for sure is I am not who I was, know I never will be.  If I can get some of that back, then maybe... _

_ I know what my responsibility is to you.  Who you are to me.  I know what I am and what I have to do.  Hydra will fall if I have any breath in my body, I will \-- I have to -- make sure they do not get to you.  I have to make sure you are safe and that you live.  I don’t know why I know this, why i know I have to do this but I do.   _

_ Don’t follow me, Steve.  Don’t go after Hydra.  One day I will be well enough and strong enough to come back, until then you need to stay away.  This is my fight, my duty, my mission.   _

_ Help those who need the help, the ones Hydra left to rot.  Help them, I will do what needs to be done.   Hydra will not hurt or ruin anyone else.  _

_ There is a part of me that knows you will not stay away, that you will follow me.  I can see you, but not you...smaller you. _

_ Just know you will not catch me, I will make sure that there is no one left to hurt you at the bases you go to.  No one will survive.  You cut off enough heads even a Hydra cannot survive. _

_ Me. _

~~~***~~~***

 


	4. 1.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I have to say THANK YOU ALL. All of your comments have filled my heart with so much happiness. I love you all and can't thank you all enough. I'm always shocked when anyone reads things I write and you all have made this such a joy and so much fun.  
> I am determined I will be updating every Sunday, if I can get one I like before I will post more than once a week, but at min every Sunday.

~~~***~~~***

** 1.4 **

Steve sat at the small table he had in the corner, drawing and trying to calm himself.  For as long as he could remember Bucky and him had always written letters to each other, granted most of Steve’s had pictures he would draw as well.  What Bucky hadn’t known was that Steve had kept a journal to keep his most private thoughts to Bucky.  Steve had never planned to Bucky to read them but now Steve knew that one day he would share with his best friend and mate.  Bucky would need to know what was going through is mind, much like Bucky’s letters to him had always done.  Luckily, Peggy had gotten a hold of the early years and kept them for him, now hidden away in the vault in DC.  Picking up his pencil, he started to draw one a blank page.  Bucky as he envisions him in his mind’s eye on the side of the Potomac.  He knew it had been Bucky who had pulled him out of the river, who had saved him no matter what anyone said.  

He wished he could talk to Bucky, that he could convince the older man to come home.  But until they found him, until they were able to get ahead of him that was impossible.  He could get letters from Bucky but Steve had no way of getting in touch with the other man.  If nothing else that was the worst.  There was so much he wanted to say to Bucky, so much he wanted to apologize for which was denied him.  It angered him, but Steve knew he wasn’t angry at Bucky.  Or maybe he was, lately it felt that everything was angering him and he wasn’t sure what was causing it.  Steve wasn’t normally like that, but since coming out of the ice Steve hadn’t felt right.  He had always had an Irish short-fused temper growing up, but he had known how to control it.  He would let a lot of things slide off of him, mostly because he knew he had a limit on what he could do back in those days.  But since being ‘rescued’ from the ice, Steve had lost it too many times, times he normally wouldn’t have.  Reaching over to the corner of the desk, Steve opened his prescription and swallowed one of the pills deep inside.  

He could hear Bucky from during the war in his head.  _"You do know that these aren't supplements, no matter what they tell you.  I have no damn clue what it is, but it sure as hell isn't that."_ Steve knew since his return what the pills really were - ‘Suppressants’ to help deal with the effects of his heat.  Courtesy of SHIELD.  Steve sat back as he thought about it all, trying to remember the last time he had suffered from the heat, and he couldn’t remember since right after he had come out of the ice.  He had put it off as Bucky being gone, and being the only one.  Steve just wondered now if with Bucky’s return he would once again go through the heat.  Too much was going on, everything he had known most of his life had been completely been blown out of the water since he had agreed to _Project Rebirth_.  

“So, what’s going on,” Sam asked as he let himself into Steve’s apartment.  Steve had been so lost in the past he hadn’t even noticed Sam letting himself in. Sam pulled a chair over from the kitchen to sit next to Steve, “You ok?’

Steve leaned back a bit and closed his eyes.  “I’m fine, Sam just... Frustrated is all.  I really don’t know what was up with Tony, he always gets on my nerves but today, I don’t know he definitely seems a little paranoid to say the least.”

Sam nodded but kept looked at Steve as if to try and figure out what was wrong with his friend.  “I can’t say I blame the guy, finding out Hydra not only killed your parents, but grew under the organization your father created, AND being on a ultimate hit list... Well I’d say that would make anyone just a little cautious.  It’s all good.”  Sam looked down at the small pad in front of Steve and nodded, “you do those?”

Steve looked down at the pages he had open and gave a small smile.  “From... Before.  Well what I can remember.  I remember Bucky yelling at me one day, damn it must have been when I was fifteen or so.  He told me I had to sign all my work, cause one day I would be famous and he didn’t want some sorry shit to take credit for all my hard work.  Since that day... I always made sure.  Thought it was stupid but he never wanted someone else to take credit for what I did.”

“Smart, cause well... I saw some of your work a couple of times at the museums and whatnot.  Granted nothing like this,” Sam leaned back in his chair and only looked Steve over.  “He means a lot to you, I understand that, but you have to understand you don’t have to do it alone.  You have people who are willing to help, to go with you and find him.”

Steve stood and went to the kitchen, pulling out two beers.  Handing Sam one Steve sat on the edge of the desk, slowing taking a sip.  “I know.  I do, and I cannot thank you enough for coming with me.  I know you didn’t sign up for all of this.  It’s just... It isn’t easy for me.  For so long it was just Bucky and I, and he’s out there on his own.  Lost.  I just...”

“You feel guilty,” Sam began catching the look in Steve’s eyes.  The look of pain, loss, and Sam could tell that Steve felt it was all his fault.  “I don’t know what happened that day, I read the report but I wasn’t there.  All anyone had to go on was your word, and let me tell you from experience, the statement of someone who had just lost someone is sort of one sided.”  Sam stretched out some and leaned his head back on the chair.  “When Riley died, I remember giving my report.  All I could think of was how ... If I had only been faster, if I had only agreed with him on flying lower, if only...”  Taking a deep breath, Sam shook his head.  “What I’m saying is I get it.  No matter what happened, you will forever feel like there was something you could have done.  But let me tell you, if I had a chance... If Riley was still alive, well I don't know what I would do.  Most likely I would be right where you are now.  I just know I couldn’t do it on my own.  I would need my friends there to help me.”

Steve placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder, knowing the other man knew what it was like to lose someone you loved in war, to have been there the moment they were lost.  Steve knew it couldn’t be easy for Sam knowing that even though Steve could have a second chance with Bucky where Sam will never have that chance with Riley.  “I know, it’s just if word got out, if people knew he was alive.  He’s still being hunted by Hydra, and if he is linked at all to the Winter Soldier I can’t even imagine the number of governments who would be hunting him.  They won’t care that he had no choice.  Until we have more evidence, something we can prove to everyone he had no choice in the matter.  Plus... It is likely that Bucky was the one on the mission to kill Howard.  Tony doesn’t need that, and until I have proof it wasn’t Bucky’s fault I don’t want to ask Tony to help a person who may have killed his parents even if Bucky had no choice.”

“So where to,” Sam asked as he finished off his beer.  “We know he won’t go to any of the places in the data we gave Stark.  He removed any data that even reference the Winter Soldier, so do we have any clue where he will go next?”

Steve could only look back down to the letter and files he had in the corner of his desk knowing if he made a mistake now they would never catch up with Bucky.  “Europe.  From everything we know the early years were spent in Russia and Eastern Europe, it is the most possible place he will go.  We know he is going after bases that had something to do with what they did to him, so it makes sense.”

Sam looked over to where the files were and noticed the letter sitting on top of them.  “Another letter? He give you any indication?”

Steve shook his head and glanced down at the letter himself.  “Just that he is going to make sure that Hydra doesn’t do to anyone else as they did to him.  We know from what Natasha gave us they had him in Russia for a while, but I don’t think they will really let us come into their country.  Austria.  If we can pick up the trail from the last place I know he was at....’  Steve ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath.  “I know it’s a long shot, but maybe there was a base near there.  I can’t imagine hey were able to travel too far with him.”

“Well I better pack, and look for tickets.”  Sam stood but turned back to Steve.  “Here’s a question, how will he get to Europe?  I mean it’s not like he can go through a metal detector with that arm, and I doubt he can get a private lift from Hydra.”  To Steve, that was the 64,000 dollar question.

~~~***~~~***

James walked through the airport, checking for the egresses, checking for possible trouble.  As much as he was hating the fact he was a weapon, that his arm was not his own, that Hydra had made sure it would cause the most destruction as possible, he was grateful for their construction of it.  Yes his arm was metal, but not once would it set off any alarm.  He had learned how to get past any check-point, how to cover the metal, to appear ‘normal’.  No government has been able to find a way to detect him unless he wanted them too.  And right now, James only wanted three people to know he was coming for them.  He wanted these men to know their days were numbered.  Glancing over at one of the security cameras, James gave a small smile and nod.  Let them see him, let them know.  

Let them enjoy their final days on Earth believing they could stop him.  The hunt is half the fun.

~~~***~~~***

Steve set his bag down on the ground by the river, taking in the area he had not seen in almost seventy years.  “Last time I was in this area it was December, cold.  We started off on that ledge up there ad zip lined onto the train...there.” Steve reminisced.  

Sam could only shake his head as he sat back from the small fire they had started.  The two had been hiking all day to get to this location, tent, sleeping bags, MRE’s, water.  It had been years since Sam had gone camping, but he had always had fond memories from when he was little.  Not always so fond of the nights out in the field while in the military but there were good times to out-weigh the bad.   “You remember all that after what... 70 years?”

Steve looked around and shrugged.  “I live it almost every night in my nightmares,” Steve quietly stated, looking up at the train tracks far up the mountain side.  “Granted I can’t say I remember this view.  We should be close to where he landed if my calculations are correct.  We had asked to come then and look for him, I don’t even know of a group was sent at the time.”

Sam pulled out one of the MRE packets and handed it over to Steve.  “I know we have said this before, but you know that none of this is your fault right?  What happened is shitty, no doubt about that, but it wasn’t your fault.”

Steve sat down on one of the logs near the fire and bit into the bland food.  “One day.  One day I just may believe that.”  Steve pulled out two maps from his backpack and laid them out.  “One is from 1945, the other from now.  I hope maybe we can try and tell if there is some hidden base or check point around here.  My thinking is they would have had some sort of transport, but most likely they carried him out of here.  They had to have had a place to wait for him.  It was much too cold those days leading up to stay out for too long.”  The two men bunkered down for the night, knowing they would have a long couple of days.

Sam had to admit, even though they were searching for a man who frankly, didn’t want to be found, there could be worse things in the world than hiking through some of the most beautiful scenery known to man.  The flowing river, high mountain tops, cool fresh air, trees... Just pure beauty all around.  Sam almost wished he had brought his real camera instead of just his phone.  He felt a little guilty every time he pulled out his phone to snap a picture, but he would always catch Steve’s small smile out of the corner of his eye and know it was all ok.  Sam had been worried about Steve in the past couple of weeks.  He may not have known Steve long, but from what he can tell Steve just seemed off.  He wished he was able to ask Natasha or even had been able to talk to Stark a little more, if nothing else to try and see if they noticed anything.  

They had finally come across what looked like an abandoned building a little ways from the river bed.  “If this is the place, let me tell you if it wasn’t for the new plumbing I would say no one has been here for 70 years.”  Sam placed his backpack behind a tree and pulled out a pair of guns from his pack.  The two quietly made their way to the back of the building noting how quiet it was.  Steve reached into a broken window and slowly opened it to sneak inside.  All they could see was dust covered and broken down furniture.  Sam could only shrug as they made their way further into the building, looking for any sort of hidden door or pathway.  Sam could only guess that if this place had been used in recent years it had to be under the main structure.  People hiking around this area would have easily found the place and in case of storms of whatever would use this place as shelter.  

Steve pointed to one of the walls and felt around to where he could see a thin edging.  Lifting his shield, Steve pushed on one corner and the wall moved.  The two slowly went through the small opening, weapons at the ready finding a staircase leading down.  It was at the bottom of the stairs that they heard voices on the other side.  Giving Sam a nod, Steve lifted his shield higher and pulled out his own gun.  Kicking the door open, the two started shooting, not bothering to ask first.  Hydra agents throughout the room, started to reach for the guns to fire back.  Sam watched as one began to reach for what most likely was an alarm and took his shot, instantly killing the man.  

Things moved pretty quickly from there, or at least for Sam it appeared to be moving quickly.  Steve had run off to one of the side corridors, as Sam continued to work his way through the floor he was on.  He knew he should try and keep some alive and he was able to knock a few out, but it was either them or him and Sam frankly wanted to live to see tomorrow.  Making his way down another flight of stairs, Sam jumped over the railing and rolled into a crouch to avoid a shot right to his head.  “I’m getting too old for this shit,” he quietly cursed as he worked his way further into the compound.  When he reached one of the lower levels he took note that Steve must have already been there as he saw bodies littering the ground.  “Steve,” he called out walking past some cages.  In some cages Sam could see people in them - cold, hungry, women, children, some with bruises, in pain.  “I’ll be back, I promise,” Sam told one small child who had tried to reach out to him as he passed.  “We’ll get you somewhere safe.  I have a friend, he came this way, have you seen him?”  The little girl pointed to one of the far rooms and Sam nodded his thanks.  He only hoped that they could get these people out and to Stark safely and quickly.  Some of them looked like they would not last long, and it caused Sam’s blood to boil.  He had always knew Hydra was evil, but what he had seen since following Steve on this journey had made Sam hope and pray he would have the chance, would live long enough to put a bullet in the final one’s head.  

Sam walked to the door the girl pointed to and opened the door, freezing upon a sight he never thought he would see.  Steve was standing over one of the doctors, beating the man with his fists, blood splattered across the wall and both.  Sam knew there would be no telling what he looked like.  “Steve... Steve,” Sam yelled as he moved over to try and stop Steve.  “What the hell is wrong with you, man?  He’s gone.”  After three more punches, Steve stood and looked at Sam.  Sam held his breath and felt fear something he never thought he would ever feel around Steve.  “Steve,” he quietly ask raising his hands up to show that he was not a threat.  “Steve, man... It’s me, Sam.  Snap out of it.”  Sam had seen a lot of vets with the same look he saw in Steve’s.  It was like he didn’t even know Sam was there, so lost in his own world.  “Steve, it’s 2014, we’re in Austria.  It is me, Sam.  Remember?  Steve, listen to my voice.  I want you to take a deep breath... Yeah that’s it, just like that.” Sam began as he watched Steve start to take a deep breath.  “Let it out, slowly... In...out... Nice and slow.  Look at me Steve.  There are prisoners here, remember seeing them?  I need you to help me, ok?  We need to check them out, we need to call Stark, remember Tony Stark?  I can’t do it alone.  Just keep breathing, come on back.”

Steve closed his eyes and continued to take deep breaths, slowly starting to come back to himself.  Steve’s whole body was shaking with pent up energy and anger.  He wanted them all to suffer, all to feel just a bit of the pain Bucky and all these people they have freed had felt.  Steve wanted to rip each member of Hydra apart limb by limb.  He listened to Sam continue to talk to him as he kept taking the deep breaths.  ‘ _Come on, Stevie, breathe.  Breathe with me now.... In and out.  Nice and slow, that’s it,’_ Steve heard in the back of his mind.  All the times he had had an asthma attack back in Brooklyn and Bucky had helped him come back to himself.  It wasn’t Sam’s voice he was hearing now, it was Bucky’s.  Steve opened his eyes and moved back toward the door that Sam had come through.  Sam was right, there were people there who needed his help, later he knew he would most likely get sick over what he had just done.  Never had he been so vicious, so ruthless.  Never had he felt that rush of joy, of pride as he had as he took the lives of the agents in that building.  

Sam watched as Steve began to open the cages then move over to the computer against one of the walls.  He could only pull out his phone.  He needed help, Steve needed help.  ‘Code Red, Steve is losing it,’ Sam quickly typed.

‘Where are you?’

‘Austria.’

Sam knew that Steve would only get worse, and Sam could only do so much.  Yes he could help with PTSD and try and pull Steve out to a certain extent if things went south in Steve’s mind, but he also knew that he was out of his league.  Something more was going on with Steve and what it was, Sam had no clue what it was and how to help.  He could only hope that between the two of them they could stop it before they lost Steve to his need for revenge.  ‘I’ll meet up with you in 2 days.  Get him to quiet place fast.  Will see you soon,’ came the reply and Sam could only breathe a little easier.  If anyone could help it... Well Sam only had to try and keep Steve safe and sane for two more days then back up would arrive.  They wouldn’t let Steve fall into the dark hole he was starting to fall into.  No matter what Sam was determined to save Steve from himself, no matter the cost.  Even if it meant abandoning this mission to find Bucky.  For if they lost Steve now, Sam knew they would have no hope in saving Bucky in the end.

~~~***~~~***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't draw any of these images, used a couple of my image programs and 'created' them from actual images I found on the net or captured from the movies. No real drawings, just 'fake' drawings I made from numerous image editing programs. Boy do I wish I could draw like this but...


	5. 1.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is confronted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early, but can't sit on this one till Sunday. Already half way through the next chapter for Sunday. So a little treat for you guys. Thank you all for your support.   
> Notes: There is some Russian in this chapter, unfortunately I don’t know Russian and I am almost positive Google is wrong (bing had some of it different) so sorry for anything wrong with it. Google can be your friend or your nightmare. English translations are at the end of this chapter.  
> I have hinted to this chapter in previous ones, and it will be explained here. I promise.  
> Also.... A little bit of a hint in here.

~~~***~~~***

** 1.5 **

Natasha walked into the hotel room she had told Sam to take Steve and immediately went to Steve to place her hand on his head.  “You’re burning up,” she said as she sat down across from him.

“I’m fine.  Considering we just walked miles to get here is it really surprising that I could be a little warm,” Steve replied with a shrug.  He knew he had been feeling off, sick at times but he knew it would pass he wasn’t the same he was back before the serum.  “Sam called you,” Steve shook his head and gave Sam a look that basically said he should have left it all alone. 

Natasha leaned back in her chair, accepting the bottle of water Sam had dropped before her and looked at Steve closely.  She could see the small beads of sweat sliding down the side of his face, his eyes were slightly dilated and his breathing slightly shallow.  “Where are your pills?”  Steve gave her a slight look in disbelief and reached into his pocket to hand it to her.  The bottle with a small SHIELD logo on the label was half full, letting her know he had been taking them as SHIELD had told him.  “When was your last heat,” Natasha stared at Steve daring him to not answer.  She had an idea but needed the proof, proof only Steve could give her.

Steve stood to get himself a cup of coffee, he did not want to have this conversation especially not with the two of them.  “I don’t think that is...”

“Ripping a man’s heart out of his chest then beating another to death with your fists.... It’s not you, Steve.  When. Was. Your. Last. Heat.  Honestly, Steve I need to know.”

“Why?  What does that have to do with anything, besides I don’t think it is any of your business.”  Steve wrapped his arms across his chest, feeling cornered.  Steve hadn’t even known that Natasha knew about the heats, or knew anything about the ‘added bonus’ of the serum.  “What do you know?  I know I didn’t tell you and the only other besides myself who has read the documents is Sam.”  Steve sent Sam a glare wondering if his friend had betrayed him, had told Natasha about everything.  It wasn’t that Steve was hiding it, he wasn’t ashamed but he also wasn’t sure what others would think.  He was still trying to wrap his mind around the whole thing himself after all this time, he wasn’t sure he wanted everyone to know.  

Natasha leaned down and pulled a small file from her bag to hand Steve a small file.  It was thin, most likely just basic information, and Natasha noticed Steve tense just a little more at the sight of the file.  “I don’t know a lot, but I do know enough.  You experience heats, Barnes is the only one who can help you with that.”  Natasha just sat and watched Steve as she explained what she knew.  She knew a lot more, granted, but she knew Steve wasn’t ready for everything yet.  One day soon, she knew, but to Natasha it was one crisis at a time, and this was the biggest one of all.  One that in the end could cost her her friend.  “My guess is it has been a while, am I right?  This is important.”

Steve closed his eyes and let the breath he was holding out.  He thought back to the past three years, of course the main memories were the ones just weeks after his ‘return’ the pain, the feeling of loss and guilt.  Deep down Steve knew he wasn’t to blame for the loss of his and Bucky’s child that had he known he most likely would have done things differently, then then again he might not have.  Taking another deep breath, Steve thought past that time trying to recall if he had experienced any of the normal symptoms.  Steve hadn’t thought about it, not really.  Steve at first thought it was because Bucky wasn’t there, that maybe the loss of their child had done something to him, but now Steve wasn’t sure.  “I... I don’t know.  Thinking back...right before we went to get Zola.”

Natasha took a deep breath of her own and could only nod. “As in you and the commandos,” she asked only to get a slight nod from Steve.  That was what she was afraid of, but knew deep down Steve was right.  “Ok do me a favor,” she began as she reached over and took the pill bottle.  “First, don’t use these until I say so.”  Steve could only nod,  knowing that if Natasha was asking it would be important.  “Second, I want you to meet me in Warsaw in two weeks, there’s something I have to check on so we can help you.”  Lifting the small file she had brought with her she pushed it across the table toward Steve.  “From what I have been able to gather, without your heat you have been experiencing some side effects from it.  Fever, irritability, pure rage, shortness of breath, loss of appetite and lack of sleep to name a few.  I haven’t been able to find anything on what can happen in the long run, but humor me.”

Steve nodded in agreement and sat back down at the table.  “Ok.  What are you going to do?”

Natasha stood and gave both men a small smile.  “There are a couple of things I need to check on first.  If nothing pans out, then you can start on those again.  I need to be sure.”  Reaching over she gave Steve a small kiss on the cheek, “no matter what, your health and safety is my priority.  We’ll get to the bottom of this.”

~~~***~~~***

** Râmnicu Sărat, Romania **

James walked through the office and straight to the computer sitting on the desk.  His target hadn’t been there but at least his notes and everything else was.  Moving the dead body slumped over the keyboard, he sat down and started to download everything he could onto the hard drive he had brought with him.  Before he got too far, James saw a file attached to one of his but under a name he did not know.  Slowly he opened the file and felt his blood boil as he started to read, anger growing inside of him with every word he read.  If he wasn’t ready to kill this man before for all he had done to him and others this only added to it all.  Oh he would take his time and enjoy destroying this man after he got the information he needed.  

Hearing something outside the door, James quickly finished downloading all the information so he could go through it later, and pointed his gun toward the door.  “Яша. Я друг,” he heard as the door slowly opened. 

James kept his gun trained on the red-head who came further into the room with her hands out to her side.  He knew better than to trust that she was unarmed and not dangerous.  “Друг? Я помню тебя.”  

“Мы встретились пару раз за эти годы,” she replied with a shrug letting him know that maybe they had been more than just friends.  Flashes of late nights wrapped around each other, creamy flesh, promises made for freedom away from hell passed through his mind.  

James slowly lowered his gun slightly, still ready in case she decided to try something.  “Вы друг Стива. Вы были там в округе Колумбия.”  Standing James removed his hard-drive and walked over to her.  Standing directly in front of her, he grabbed a hold of her wrist and pushed her against the wall by the door.  “Что ты хочешь? Как вы меня нашли?”  

Lifting her chin so she could look him in the eye, Natasha gave him a small smile.  “Это бывшая база Красная комната. Один, в котором Александр Лукин бежал. Я знаю, что они сделали с вами здесь.”  Natasha looked around the room, taking in the dead bodies and James could see pride and something else in her eyes.  “I know what you are looking for, what you want.”  

“Really,” James said as he moved closer to her so their bodies touched, trapping her in more.  “And what do I want?”

Lifting her head a little more, Natasha leaned up to whisper in his ear.  “Lukin dead.  I won't stop you.”  

James leaned down some to look her directly in the eye.  “Too easy, and you think you could stop me?  Or do you want to help me?”  Shaking his head, James pushed himself back but made sure to keep her wrist in his hand.  “What do you really want?”

Natasha took a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing she had him right where she wanted him.  “It's Steve.  He needs you.”

James shook his head and laughed.  Of course she would use Steve, but James wasn’t buying it.  “Steve needs to go back home, leave me be.”

“He's sick and if it continues he could die.  Somehow I don't think that is something you want,” she told him knowing no matter who he was now whether he was James, Yasha, Winter Soldier, when it came to Steve he would do whatever he could for the man.

Quick as lightning, James reached out to wrap his hand around her neck, a low growl coming out as he lifted her up a couple of inches.  “What did you do to him?”

“You can save him,  Help him.”  Natasha tried to get air into her lungs and get him to let her down.  “What are you willing to do to save him?”

“Anything.”

Reaching down into her pocket, making sure she went slow and didn’t spook him, Natasha pulled out a small piece of paper.  “Then you need to head to this location.”  James let her down allowing Natasha gather her breath as she handed him the paper.  “You're the only one who can help him.”

James looked down at the paper and then up to her face, knowing she was telling the truth that it wasn’t a trap.  “Dammit,” he cursed knowing he needed more information before he saw Steve.  James knew he could trust Natasha to destroy any data left on the computer as he walked out of the room and building.  He had to see what was going on himself.

Natasha sat down behind the desk and looked at what was there.  Quickly she downloaded her own files and the one that had been opened, then ran the virus to completely wipe everything else.  Placing the small flash drive into her pocket, she knew she would have to do some more digging, get with a couple of her contacts.  Something about that file screamed at her that it was important.  Natasha knew whatever it was it wouldn’t be good.  “File: POOTS, Mary Sue 084,” she whispered to herself as she turned and left the room.  She would investigate it, but first she had to get to Steve and make sure James did what she knew he would.  

~~~***~~~***

** Warsaw, Poland **

James sat on the roof the building across from where Steve and the others were staying.  Once he had left Romania, he headed straight to Poland to get a look for himself on what Natasha had told him.  _Steve was sick.  Steve could die,_ kept running through his head.  Pulling out his scope, he watched as Steve walked out of the hotel with Natasha and another man from DC.  James narrowed in on Steve trying to get a better look and what he saw was not good.  He could see the sweat from fever across Steve’s skin, the dull eyes, pain if the slight limp was any indication, and even from his location James could smell Steve as the wind drifted up to him.  It smelled off to him and that was all James needed to know.  Steve would die, it would eat away at his insides, raise his body temperature so much that even Steve’s advance biology would not be able to fight it.  James knew what he had to do, even if he was not ready to see Steve yet.  Something was trying to block the natural order, it was poisoning Steve and the longer it went on the sicker Steve would become.  

James stayed where he was watching as Steve and the others returned to their rooms.  Once it was dark, James made his move heading straight to one of the rooms to slip a small note under the door.  He didn’t want to be disturbed until he was sure that Steve would survive.  Silently, James went across the hall and opened the door.  The scent was almost overwhelming, it had been so long.  Even with a touch of sickness mixed in, and even f James hadn’t gotten some of his memories back already, he would have known that scent.  It called to him.  Closing his eyes briefly, James forced himself to calm before he made his way toward the bedroom.  He could only stand there at the side of the bed and look at Steve.

_ Kneeling next to the bed, Bucky lightly pulled the sheet that had slid down off of Steve's shoulders back up checking for signs of fever or distress.  He noticed Steve's breathing had in fact gotten slightly better, not as watery and harsh as it had the day before.  Steve started to cough, his whole body shaking and Bucky quickly crawled into the bed beside his friend and began to rub his chest and back as he had been taught to from a young age.  "Shh, Stevie.  It's ok.  Breathe.  That's it.  Nice and slow.  In, out.  Take it easy, you can do it." Bucky continued to talk to Steve, quietly and rhythmically helping Steve calm so he could breathe easier. "That's it.  I got you." _

_ Steve turned slightly and gave a small smile to his friend.  "Hey Buck." _

_ "Hey Stevie.  You're ma went to work, so you get some sleep ok," Bucky tucked Steve in a little more under the covers to keep the younger man warm.  It didn't take long for Steve to once again fall into slumber curled up against Bucky's chest as Bucky continued to rub light circles on Steve's back.  _

James shook his head clearing the memory from his mind.  

_ "I'm ok Buck, just ... had a cramp," Steve quietly said from around the corner of the shed.  When Bucky came around he saw Steve bent over holding his stomach with sweat coming down his face.  "Just give me a few minutes and I'll be ok." _

_ Bucky quickly moved to Steve's side and knelt down beside him.  "You'll be ok, what the hell Steve.  This seems more than just a damn cramp." _

_ Steve began to try and take a couple of deep breaths and slowly let them out, hoping to ease the pressure that was building and becoming even more noticeable with Bucky standing there.  "Guess there is a little side effect I didn't tell you about.  I didn't notice it at first until about three months into the tour," Steve started to explain still trying to breathe through the pain.  "They say because my metabolism is four times faster than normal I have to take these supplements, they are supposed to help with the cramps and fever." _

_ "How often do you have to take these damn things," Bucky asked wanting to reach out to Steve but he could feel his own body start to react the longer he stayed there.  Somehow Bucky didn't think it was metabolism, but what the hell it was Bucky had no clue.   _

_ "Once a week.  We've been out here and I guess I ran out two weeks ago.  It's never been this bad before," Steve closed his eyes tightly as another wave of pain hit him.  A part of him was screaming at him that Bucky could fix it, that he could make the pain go away, but how Steve didn't know.  He could guess, boy could he guess if the hard on he was supporting was any indication, but it made no sense.   _

_ Bucky reached out and touched Steve's shoulder and immediately was hit with a wave of lust flowing through him.  Quickly he removed his hand and sat down on the ground.  "Steve, I don't think that it has anything to do with metabolism cause... Dammit Stevie.." Bucky glanced up at Steve feeling like everything he had known, everything he had wanted to believe was flying out the damn window.  "Let me guess.  Cramps, these damn hot flashes that can last days, heart feels like it is pounding out of your damn chest, and that damn smell... it is like instant lust and ..." _

_ Steve turned and stared at Bucky in disbelief.  "What?" _

_ "It makes no damn sense, Stevie... I mean I don't have the stuff that they did to you. But damn, since I got back I've felt that. I felt fine for the past couple of weeks, but..."  Bucky tried to explain. _

James felt his legs go out from under him as he sank to the ground looking at Steve.  Leaning against the wall near the bed, he noticed Steve’s eyes open and stare directly at him.  “Bucky,” he whispered letting his hand reach out.  “Please tell me I’m not dreaming.  Is it really you?”

James moved closer to the bed as he reached out and grabbed a hold of Steve’s hand.  “Yeah, Stevie.  I’m here.”  Slowly he stood so he could make his way onto the side of the bed, laying a hand on Steve’s forehead.  “What... What happened to you?”  He caught sight of a prescription bottle on the side table and picked it up.  “What is this?”

Steve sat up in the bed so he could face Bucky, reaching out to continue to run his hand across his shoulders.  “SHIELD.  They used to call it supplements.  Guess you were right about them.  Natasha thinks those are ... Well not helping the way they were supposed to.”  Steve watched as Bucky grabbed the bottle, stood and walked toward the bathroom.  “Bucky? What are you doing?”

Steve could only hear the toilet flush a few seconds later, and he could only shake his head.  “These,” Bucky began a he threw the small bottle onto the bed.  “These are killing you.”  Steve reached out to pull Bucky back toward the bed, shaking his head.  However before Steve could say anything, Bucky glared at him.  “No, not a damn word.  I know, Steve.  You have to trust me on this.”

Steve reached his hand around Bucky’s neck to pull him closer.  “I always trust you.”  Touching their foreheads together Steve ran his hands down Bucky’s shoulders, trying to convince himself that he was not dreaming and this was real.  “Talk to me, what do you know?  They never caused a problem before, how?”

Bucky ran his own hands down Steve’s sides then back up to rest his hands on the side of Steve’s neck.  “It’s the natural order of things.  You need the heat, Steve.  Without it, it builds up inside.  Slowly it eats away at you, the fever, you can’t sleep, everything... You get angry at everything, lose control.  Eventually it can kill you, Stevie.  They made those damn things, those pills so strong, they wanted you to suffer.”

“Who, Bucky?  It wasn’t SHIELD was it?  Hydra created these,” Steve asked already knowing the answer.  “They didn’t want me to find you, they didn’t want to chance it did they?”  Steve stood and moved away from Bucky feeling anger build.  He wanted to punch something, so sick of Hydra trying to ruin his life and destroy him and Bucky.  “What do they do?  Tell me.”

Bucky leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees and nodded over to the small bag he had brought with him.  “In there.  Everything I have found so far... On us, on me.”  Running his hand through his hair, letting out a deep breath.  “When I saw you in DC I didn’t just recognize you, you had no scent.  They knew if ... I would have known.  It wasn’t until now, but it’s not right.  Something is... Wrong.”  Bucky looked up at Steve, hoping he understood.  “I may not remember a lot, so much is missing.  But I remember that.  They knew I wouldn’t have been able to kill you.”

Steve walked back to the bed and sat beside Bucky.  “We can reverse what they did, fix this.”  Steve knew and he felt excitement build, he only wanted to make sure that it was what Bucky wanted and not just wanting this to ‘save’ Steve.  “I’ve missed you,” Steve whispered as he leaned in a little to lightly kiss the corner of Bucky’s lips.  

Bucky turned and lightly pushed Steve down onto the bed bringing their lips full together.  Pulling away slightly, Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife and a lighter.  “They had an antidote for those pills, but... I couldn’t find them.  But there is another way.  We have to activate your heat, you’re almost there since you stopped taking the pills but...I... I don’t want to hurt you.”  Steve slowly took the knife and lighter from Bucky’s hand.  He used the lighter to heat the end of the knife, sanitizing it then carefully brought it to his scent gland in his wrist and cut a small line across his wrist and gland.  Bucky grabbed the knife and did the same to his own as well.  He moved on top of Steve letting their wrists mold together as he began to explore Steve’s mouth.  Blood and scent mixed together as clothes began to be stripped from their bodies.  Fingers still entwined together, Bucky slide his other hand down Steve’s naked lower half to run his finger over Steve’s hole.  

As he began to work his finger into Steve’s awaiting hole, he began to feel Steve’s slick start to form, his heat starting to kick in.  It wasn’t a lot and Bucky knew he could hurt Steve, but it had to be done.  Slowly so not to hurt Steve too much, Bucky began to slide inside, stopping to let Steve stretch only moving further when he knew Steve was ready.  Once he was buried deep inside, their hands still entwined and blood still mixing, Bucky started slide in and out always making sure to brush against Steve’s prostate.  

For the first time in seventy years Steve felt complete and alive.  He had lost and found his soul-mate, his love.  “I love you,” he whispered as he came feeling the knot start to form.  It was a start, but Steve knew that no matter what Bucky would be there with him all the way from here on out.  Neither would be alone anymore.  Fate had put them together all those centuries ago, science helped create what they became but it was now up to them.  It was the two of them against the world, as always.  

~~~***~~~***

Russian

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English  
  
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Яша. Я друг. 

| 

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James. I'm a friend.  
  
Друг? Я помню тебя. 

| 

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Friend?  I remember you.  
  
Мы встретились пару раз за эти годы. 

| 

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We have met a couple of times over the years.  
  
Вы друг Стива. Вы были там в округе Колумбия. Что ты хочешь? Как вы меня нашли? 

| 

| 

You're a friend of Steve's.  You were there in DC.  What do you want?  How did you find me?  
  
Это бывшая база Красная комната. Один, в котором Александр Лукин бежал. Я знаю, что они сделали с вами здесь. 

| 

| 

This is a former Red Room base.  One in which Aleksander Lukin ran.  I know what they did to you here.   
  
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End note: I know this is not a normal A/B/O fic or idea on what an A/B/O is but i am taking parts of it and using it (ok completely warping it). Bucky and Steve are the only ones, thanks to the serums they received, some other stuff will show up but these two are the main (start of it all) ones. Hydra and SHIELD have both known about the dynamic and the basics of it. Both units used their knowledge to try and force Bucky and Steve into what they wanted/needed. Bucky and Steve now have to work to try and make it right, to undo the damage done to both and to find the balance again. Sooo will apologize now for the un-orthodox A/B/O u-verse of mine.


	6. 1.6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to thank all of you for the wonderful Kudos and comments. I try to answer all of them. Some not sure how to answer them for don't want to give stuff away. Things are still progressing in my mind and with some stuff even I'm not 100% sure if I will go one way or another.  
> Ok, some massive hints in here. Please note, this chapter talks a bit about rape, it is lightly touched on no details but know that it is here.  
> Also... I am ducking. Yep I am running and hiding. Let me say..... Sorry?... Well kinda.

~~~***~~~***

** 1.6 **

Steve curled himself around Bucky, resting his head on his shoulder, gliding his hand across Bucky’s chest and over his scars.  “It’s strange.  I never realized anything was wrong.  I just thought it was because you were gone and I was the only one left.”  Lightly Steve placed a kiss on Bucky’s right shoulder and smiled up at him.  “I thought...I don’t know.  But now, I feel like I had been living in a haze since they pulled me out of the ice, like I was still in the ice... dead.  And now, everything is clear.”  Steve sat up and looked around the room.  ‘I can say I’m amazed that Sam and Natasha haven’t come knocking on the door wondering if I was still alive.”

“I slide a note under Natalia’s door, told her you would see her in a few days,” Bucky said with a smile as he placed his hand on Steve’s forehead.  “Fever is almost gone.  I think the drugs are finally leaving your system.”

“It was Hydra wasn’t it?  How did you know,” Steve asked as he continued to run his hand over Bucky’s scars just noticing the differences and hoping to let Bucky know he was ok with it all.  

Bucky grabbed a hold of Steve’s wondering hand as it began to move from his shoulder down to his cock.  “They used those on me at times when the anger became too much for them to handle.  When they wanted me to be ‘calm’  Other times they wanted the blood lust, and made sure it was there.”  Bringing Steve’s hand to his lips, Bucky gave it a small kiss before setting it back down on his chest.  “Some of the things I’ve done, Stevie.  What they made me do.”

He hated that Bucky had to suffer, he hated what Hydra had done to him, but a part of him couldn’t be too upset over them.  Because of these, because of Hydra Bucky was there with him in the ‘future’.  Steve moved so he was straddling Bucky to rest their foreheads together.  “I hate what happened to you, and I wish you hadn’t had to go through any of that.  If only we had found you, if I had been able to...”  Steve took a deep breath, slowly letting it out.  “But there is a part of me who is grateful.  You are the strongest person I know, Buck.  You are getting better, I can tell.  Hydra, for all the bad and as much as I hate them for what they made you do, they have given us a chance here in the future.  We can get past this, we can heal together.”  Steve leaned down further to bring their lips together letting all the love, respect, and devotion show.  Before Steve could go further he heard his stomach growl and laughed.  “I guess my appetite is coming back.”

Bucky could only shake his head as he moved Steve off of him to stand and walk out of the bedroom into the small living room area.  Returning with a small plate of food, he set them down on the bed in front of Steve with a small smile.  “Guess it is a good thing Natalia has been dropping some food off the past two days.”

“Two days?  And how did I not hear her,” Steve asked as he grabbed one of the pancakes off of the plate.  Steve was happy, happier than he had felt in a long time but he knew it couldn’t last.  “You’re not staying.”

Bucky reached over and rested his hand on the side of Steve’s neck over the bite mark he had given Steve earlier that morning.  “I can’t.  I have to find them, Steve.  I have to make sure they don’t....”  Bucky glanced over at the bag he left in the corner of the room.  “I have a kid, Steve,” Bucky began.  Steve felt his heart beat faster in his chest, he wanted to tell Bucky about their child about the one they lost but wanted to wait a little longer.  He didn’t want to add to what Bucky was going through, but hearing Bucky had another child out there somewhere.  “They made me...Hydra wasn’t able to replicate what they did to me, so they thought that maybe a child.  I don’t know if they are alive, if it is a boy or girl... I think a girl, pretty sure it is but...I remember...”  Steve moved the plate to the side table and pulled Bucky into his arms, laying back onto the bed so he could hold his mate.  “They used a scent to ... I raped her.  They kept us in this damn room for days I think.  Once they were sure she was pregnant they pulled me out.  I remember being so angry.  I started to kill anyone who tried to take me away.  That’s how I know about the pills.  It was the only way they could calm me down.”  Bucky began to run his hands up and down Steve’s arms as he continued to lay his head on Steve’s chest.  “When I woke up next, I didn’t remember.  I didn’t remember I had a kid until I saw the damn file.  I don’t know if she is alive, dead... I know Hydra wants her.”

“We won’t let that happen, Buck.  I swear to you.  If she is out there, I’ll find her,” Steve swore.  

Bucky lifted his head to give Steve a deep kiss, grateful that Steve understood.  “I know who was behind it, I know who is going after her.  I have to stop them.  I won’t rest until I know she is safe.  I have to.”

Steve pulled Bucky back down to his lips, letting his lips and body tell Bucky just what he felt.  The heat was lessening, but Steve wanted this to last as long as he could, he wasn’t ready to give Bucky up again yet.  “Bucky.  I’ll find her, I swear.”

“I have to leave soon, I have to find them and end the threat.  And I need you to go home, don’t follow me.  I can’t worry about you on top of all of this.”  Bucky forced Steve to look him in the eyes, wanting to make sure Steve understood the importance of his request.  “Promise me.”

Steve nodded, as much as he wanted to be with Bucky, he knew he had to do this.  He had to leave Bucky to do what he has to do.  “I promise.  I’ll go back to the States, I’ll find her and protect her.  I won’t let anything get to her.  But I need a promise from you.”  Steve ran his hands across Bucky’s back up to his hair.  “You find a way to contact me every other day.  I need to know you’re ok.  I need to know you’re alive.  This way if something happens I can come for you.”  He could see the struggle in Bucky’s eyes, so he leaned up to place a light kiss on them.  “I didn’t come for you once, I failed you once.  Don’t make me do it again.  I need to be able to be there if something happens, I need to know you are ok.”

_ ‘You are a pain in my ass,’ _ Bucky thought as he shook his head.  He should have known that Steve would fight him on this, full memories or no.

‘ _But I’m your pain in the ass,’_ Steve thought back.  

Bucky jerked back to stare at Steve wondering if Steve had actually verbalized that or if it was what he thought it was.  Steve didn’t seem to notice, intent to kiss his way down Bucky’s neck, but Bucky knew it was just one more thing he would have to investigate.  “I promise,” he answered as he brought their bodies closer together.  Bucky wanted to stay, he wanted to remain there with Steve but he knew he had to leave.  He had spent too much time there already, he had to find these men and kill them, he had to keep his daughter and Steve safe.  No matter the cost to his own body and mind.  

~~~***~~~***

Steve pretended to still be asleep when Bucky left but he knew his lover knew.  Both knew that it would be difficult, neither wanting to part but both knowing it was needed for now.  When he was sure that Bucky was gone, Steve got out of bed and into the shower letting the water mask the tears that he was sure were falling down his cheeks.  Steve only got out when the water ran cold and looked at himself in the mirror, Bucky’s mark still present on his lower neck.  It was faded and if you didn’t know it was there you could miss it, but Steve knew.  The mark both made on their wrists also still present.  “Stay safe,” he whispered closing his eyes.  “Come home safe.  I love you.”

It was still early, Steve knew it would be another couple of hours before Sam and Natasha woke, so he pulled out his laptop.  Slowly, Steve started to go through the files Bucky had left him.  Hundreds, thousands, millions of files on the Winter Soldier and what Hydra did to him, what they had planned.  Missions, evaluations, experiments, everything laid out before Steve making his stomach violently turn.  He had an idea of what they had done to Bucky but this was almost too much.  Videos, pictures of the torture, surgeries, everything filtered across his screen.  Closing his eyes, Steve knew he would have to go through it all so he could better understand how he could help Bucky but he would do that later.  Opening a search, Steve tried to narrow in on rape or female subject.  Rape unfortunately for Steve turned up way too many hits for his liking, and was not something he REALLY didn’t want to look into at that moment.  The thought that they had either forced Bucky to rape others or the possibility that he had been raped himself caused his blood to boil.  

After ten minutes Steve found it.  File name : K-084-56845791

_ Custody of the 0-8-4.  Subject responds to stimulation, fertile.  Subject displays signs of ‘miracle’ gene, super powers, enhanced mental ability.  Subject same design as first 0-8-4 found in 1940’s.  Assessment: Subject susceptible for Asset testing. _

_ Asset prepared.  Three days in ‘Scent room’ and ready for subject.   _

Steve could only shake his head at how unfeeling Hydra was.  The thought of forcing sex onto anyone, either as the victim or the one doing the rape.  It further proved that they would do anything to get what they wanted.  Quickly skipping the details of the ‘experiment’ Steve moved onto the next document, hoping that would shed some light on the identity of who the child was.

_ File name : POOTS, Mary Sue 084.   _

_ Attempt to bring in child failed.  SHIELD is aware of subject and has moved her from ‘home’  location at this time is unknown.  Unknown strength or any other possible traits  Further testing is required.   _

Glancing at the clock, Steve grabbed the pill bottle off the side table and the laptop.  Walking into the small breakfast room, he quickly made his way over to where he spotted Sam and Natasha sitting in a corner drinking coffee.  “Did you know,” he asked as he placed the empty pill bottle in front of her.

“Hey, long time no see.  You’re looking better.  Natasha said you were resting, looks like it did some good,” Sam said with a smile, getting up to give Steve a small hug.  

“Sam,” Steve said as he gave Sam a one-armed hug back.  “She didn’t tell you,” he asked stealing a glance over at Natasha who only shrugged.  “She went and found Bucky.  Seemed these pills were killing me.”

“What?  So you just show up out of the blue and find the one person we have been following for months with no problem.  We should have had her with us all along,” Sam could only shake his head.  “So where is he?  And wait... The pills were killing you?”  Sam leaned forward in his chair and grabbed the pills from in front of Natasha.  “These damn pills, that I have seen you take religiously every week for as long as I have known you.  What are they?”

“Suppressants,” Natasha replied looking at Steve with her cup in her hand.  “I wasn’t completely positive, it was a guess.  I knew you were sick which with what you are, you shouldn’t be.  SHIELD gave you those pills to help with the heat, it made sense that Hydra had a hand in it with everything we have found out in recent months, don’t you think?”

“It’s more than that.  What do you know?  You’ve seen these before haven’t you?”  Steve leaned forward a little so he could reach over to put her cup back down on the table.  “He called you Natalia.  You knew him from before, from the Red Room.”

Natasha lifted her eyes to stare at Steve.  “This is not the time, nor the place for this discussion.  Maybe we should take this elsewhere.”

“Agree.  I don’t know about you, but I plan to be on the next flight back to the States, maybe get Tony to look over this stuff see what he can come up with,” Steve said patting his computer.

Sam could only stare at the two feeling like he was at a tennis match.  “Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?  Where is the big guy?”

Steve turned toward Sam and gave him a small smile.  “He’s gone.  Had some stuff he had to take care of, which is what I have to do.  Sorry we dragged you into this Sam, things have ... Gotten a little strange.”

Sam only shrugged and gave Steve a smile.  “Work’s not done, I gather.  I’m with you.  Somehow doubt that this is over yet.”

Steve could only look down at his laptop as he ran his hand over the top of it.  “It’s just getting started.”

~~~***~~~***

It seemed like forever ago he had stepped into Stark, now Avengers Tower, but Steve knew it had only been a couple of weeks.  Since he had stopped taking the pills and with Bucky’s help, he had begun to feel like his old self again, like everything was clear again.  “Well if it isn’t Capsicle,  Romanoff  and bird-brain number 2.  Why is it we have two who are named after birds?  I think we really need to protest that one,” Tony stated as the three made their way into the large entertainment room.  

Steve could only shake his head as he saw Bruce sitting on one of the couches with a cup of tea.  “Tony, Bruce.  Actually I’m glad you’re both here.”  Steve caught Sam out of the corner of his eye and bit his lip.  “Sorry, Sam Wilson met Doctor Bruce Banner.  And you already met Tony over there.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Steve’s told me a lot about all of you,” Sam said as he held out his hand to Bruce.  “I may not understand half of the things you, and Stark over there do, but I have to say what you do for those kids and everyone, helping them out... It’s a hell of a lot more than most people do and I respect that.”

“Thank you,” Bruce quietly said with a smile shaking Sam’s hand.  “I hear you work at the VA, well did.”

“Still try to touch base with them, have some people I’ll be getting in touch with now that we’re back State-side.  If I can help one, makes it worth it,” he said with a shrug.  

“I know what you mean.”  Turning a little Bruce glanced over at Steve and gave Natasha a smile.  “By the way, I’ve been looking over the data that you gave Tony on Hydra’s prisoners.  I think we can help some of them get back to their lives.  Some... Hydra did some experiments, things even I haven’t seen.  Genetic coding isn’t really my specialty, but I have some friends I trust that are going over some of it, see if there is anything we can do.”

“Thanks,” Steve said as he moved to sit down on the couch beside Bruce.  Pulling out his laptop and the hard-drives Bucky had left him, Steve took a deep breath.  “There’s more, though.  A lot more.”  Steve watched as Tony moved closer to stand behind Bruce so he could listen in and watch over Bruce’s shoulder if need be.  “I haven’t been completely honest with all of you, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Now in your defense, Steve, half of this shit even you didn’t know,” Sam added.

“Let me start off by saying, in DC.. The one who attacked us, who shot Fury.  He isn’t Hydra, well not really.”

“I’ve looked through the files that were released,” Tony began giving Natasha the evil eye.  “There was no mention of who he was.  If he wasn’t Hydra, who the hell was he and why did he try to kill Fury and attack you guys.  I mean I know you can piss people off but even that is too much.”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and laughed.  “I can’t really argue that.  In my defense... It wasn’t really my fault.  But I’ll get to that.”  Taking a deep breath, Steve reached down and pulled out the file that Natasha had given him at Fury’s ‘grave’ and laid it on the table.  “The man was James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky.  Zola experimented on him in 43 when his unit was captured and he survived the fall.  Hydra captured him and made him into what we saw in DC.”

“So they brainwashed him,” Bruce asked, grabbing a hold of the file.  

“Wiped his memories using electroshocks is more correct,” Natasha added.  “When he fell he had no memory, or at least very little.  Hydra just finished the job.”

Tony moved to sit on the edge of the couch, staring at the file in Bruce’s hands.  “Wait a minute, James Barnes, as in your best friend and side-kick, as in the other guy my dad wouldn’t shut up about.  That James Barnes?  Sam mentioned it was him but I didn’t think it was true.  Sorry.”  Steve nodded which caused Tony to run his own hand through his hair.  “Well fuck me.  What do you have?”

Steve set all the files and hard-drives down on the coffee table in front of them.  “Bucky was the one who had raided the bases here in the States, who freed all those people you have now.  By the time we got to the bases, he had killed or captured the Hydra agents, freed the prisoners and made sure he left most of the information for us to find.”

“We have all that, what’s this,” Tony asked pointing at the pile in front of them.  “He’s hitting more bases we know but somehow I don’t think that this is only from those.”

“Bucky had removed all the files related to him, these are those files.  Everything they did, everything they made him do.. It’s all here,” Steve leaned back on the couch and took a deep breath.  “But before you get into all of that, Dr. Banner, I think you may want these,” Steve bent down and reached into his bag once again and pulled out a thick envelop.  

“Are you sure, Steve,” Natasha asked knowing full well what Steve was getting ready to hand over.  The very key to everything was in there and as much as she trusted Bruce, the idea that it would be out there, anywhere was a little frightening.

Steve nodded and handed the file to Bruce.  “These are all of Dr.  Erskine’s  notes on the serum.  He gave them to Peggy for safe keeping, and she held on to them, made sure they didn’t fall into the wrong hands.  She said she had hoped one day to give them to me like he had asked.  One of the main things is what he did with serum. It’s called Alpha/Beta/Omega.  He felt that to have a good fighting force, you needed a certain dynamic.”

Tony looked over Bruce’s shoulder reading all of the notes relating to the Super Soldier Serum, notes that Bruce had been looking for when he had attempted to recreate the serum himself.  Tony laid his hand on Bruce’s shoulder, giving the man his silent support not a hundred percent sure what it would mean to Bruce to know all the secrets he had been dreaming about after his own failed experiment.  “I can see this would be something if there were more of you, but...” Tony began not sure where this whole thing is going.  “And what is this, some genetic change,” he asked pointing to one area.  “I didn’t think they knew much of anything about genetics back then.”

Bruce continued to read through some of the notes, shaking his head.  “I always knew that Dr. Erskine was one of the best minds in the field but... This is way before his time.”

Steve knew this was what Bruce had been searching for almost his whole life, the facts and the whole procedure, all of the notes that went into it.  He knew, deep down, it couldn’t be easy for Bruce but Steve also knew Bruce would take the information and put it to good use.  Bruce would make sure that the information did not get into the wrong hands.  Looking over at Tony, Steve shrugged.  “Most of that I admit is way over my head.  But to answer your question, I’m not the only one.” Steve immediately felt both sets of eyes on him in shock.  “Hydra, how I don’t know yet, found out most of this information and used it.  There is another... Bucky.  He didn’t get the massive muscle and growth that I did, but his reflexes, healing... Pretty much everything I have he does.”

“So you two make up this whole alpha/omega/beta insanity,” Tony summarize.  “I think one of the first things is to try and compare the differences between the two of you, see what is different, what is the same.  That way we can find out what Hydra was able to come up with.  If they have this then they most likely are trying to recreate another super soldier.  Especially if Barnes is now two sheets to the wind.  Where is he by the way?”

Natasha stood to grab herself a cup of coffee, laying a gentle hand on Bruce’s shoulder as she passed.  “Most likely Ukraine or Russia by now.  Maybe China.  At least he was headed that way when I had found him.”  She caught Steve’s look when she walked back and shrugged.  “I am former Red Room, I remember where some of their bases are.  I didn’t know we were working with Hydra, but I know Barnes has a list of people he is after and in order to do that he needs more intel.  If you need something let me know, I can get it for you. Or Steve can, he’s in contact with him.”

Bruce could only nod, already engrossed in the files before him.  “Ok, Bruce and I will start to go through this stuff, see what we can find out.  It may help the ones Hydra were experimenting on,” Tony grabbed the hard drives and some of the files.  “Anything we should know before we dig into all of this?  Besides the whole ... Whatever it is.”

Steve bit his lower lip and shrugged.  “I only looked at some of the files myself.  A lot of it is... Difficult to deal with.  Just know, I mean, I know you will have questions and I’ll answer them the best I can.  When we first discovered half of this stuff no one was really forthcoming and during that time...”  Steve quietly cursed suddenly remembering another thing he wanted them to look at as he reached into his pocket and grabbed the pill bottle.  “Also, can you take a look at this?”

“What is it,” Bruce asked as he looked up from the file to take the bottle from Steve.

“I was told it would help with... Aspects of the alpha/omega symptoms, think now it was created by Hydra to kill me,” he added.  Steve knew that once they would get into the files they would know everything but he still wasn’t sure how it would be received.  He figured it would be easier once they got an idea and asked questions than him trying to explain it all.  He still wasn’t sure everything, all he knew was how he felt and what it did to him.  “Wait, there is one other thing and I think before you start looking at those files you should know.”  Steve waited until he had both of their attention and he reached over and pulled out one of Bucky’s notes.  “If I’m right, and I hope to God I’m not... We knew that Hydra had something to do with your parent’s death, Tony,” Steve began and noticed that Tony’s body went rigid as he began.  “They may have used Bucky to do it.  I don’t know for sure, just this note from Bucky,” he added as he handed the note to Tony.  “I just... I wanted to warn you in case.  I don’t know much about it, we didn’t talk about that when I saw him since so much else was going on... I just know what he wrote and knew you should know.”

Tony stared out the far window taking it all in, trying to process it all.  His insides were battling themselves in one epic battle to end all battles.  He couldn’t deal with that now, he shouldn’t deal with that now.  His parents killed by a man his father respected, leaving Tony to fend for himself... Taking a deep breath, Tony gave a small smile.  “Well we have work to do, lots of files to go through.  We should get to it.”

“Tony...”

“Work.  I’ll let you know when I find something,” he quickly said as he practically ran from the room toward his lab.  

Bruce reached over and placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder to give it a squeeze.  “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thanks.  For everything,” Steve said giving Bruce a smile.  

“Don’t thank me yet,” with that Bruce left the room with the files in hand following Tony toward the lab.

Sam moved to sit down in the spot that Bruce had left and let out a deep breath.  “Well that went better than expected.  You didn’t tell them everything.”

Steve shrugged a little and ran his hand through his hair.  “I’ve read the files, and I still don’t understand it.  Everything will come out, but maybe they can understand it all better than I can.  Hell think Bucky understands it better than I do.  I just... I don’t know how to explain it all.  I loved Bucky before all of this but it was never possible.  This made it possible.  How do I explain all of that when I don’t even understand it.”

~~~***~~~***


	7. 1.7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Soldier program comes to light and all come to terms with what happened to Bucky and what role everyone played in it. Tony works through his own issues with his dad. (hints for future parts as always included

~~~***~~~***

Sam plopped himself on the couch next to Steve as both quietly watched the news the sound turned down but loud enough to give both some nice background noise.  “You planning on telling them about... You know.”

Steve glanced up from his sketchbook he had been drawing in and looked lost at Sam.  “About what now?  They are going through the files, they will find out about most everything.”

“You know what I’m talking about, granted since I haven’t even seen you deal with it I guess it is understandable that you don’t want them to know.”  Sam leaned back against the back of the couch and grabbed the remote.  

Steve knew pretending he didn't know what Sam was talking about wouldn’t work so he figured he would just head it off and get it over with.  “Sam, drop it, please.  In all honesty I’m not sure why I told you, but I’m dealing with it and no one needs to know.  So drop it.”

“Does Barnes know,” Sam asked flipping through the channels.  Stealing a glance at Steve, Sam had his answer.  “Are you planning on tell him,” Sam turned around to face Steve.  “Steve, let me say if I was in a relationship and my significant other lost a child I would want to know.  You can’t keep that from him, hell you need to deal with it yourself.  It will eat you alive if you don’t let it out.”

Steve set his pad down beside him on the couch and closed his eyes.  “At first I had no idea what was happening, it wasn’t until I saw the notes that I had an idea.  Right now... I can’t go there.  I think about it so it is not completely out of my mind. I just can’t allow to lose it now.  I will, and when I do Bucky and I will be together again and we can help each other.  When Bucky is back, when he is here I will deal with it.  Right now, I can’t... There’s too much to do, things I have to do.  If I allow myself to think about it, I will lose it, I won’t be any use to anyone.  I will deal with it in my own time.”

“You do know you can’t control when it can come up to bite you in the ass right?  Grief doesn’t work like that,” Sam reached over and lightly placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder.  “But ok, I won’t bring it up again.  When you are ready to talk, I’m here.”  Sam reached for the remote again and paused.  “You don’t think you could be again do you?  I mean I know now what you were doing those days, you don’t think...”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and shook his head.  “No.  Looking back, it was different.  I felt different after it all.  I thought it was because Bucky was gone, but... It is something we would have to watch, but no.  I’m not.”

“Do they have birth control pills for men?  Besides condoms I mean,” Sam said with a small smile shaking his head.  “Since meeting you, I can say my life is never boring.  But you know if and when you guys do... Uncle Sam, wait that really sounds horrible.  Uncle Falcon, yeah that sounds better.”  Steve could only shake his head and lightly push Sam to the side before reaching back for his sketchbook.

~~~***~~~***

Steve walked into the dining room and saw Pepper over at the strange coffee pot waiting for it to finish brewing.  “Ma’am.  I mean, Pepper,” he said with a smile.  

Pepper gave him a small tired smile.  “Steve, how are you doing this morning?”

Steve shrugged before reaching into one of the cupboards for a coffee cup.  “Not too bad, much better than I have been for sure.  Have you seen Tony?  I sort of dropped a bombshell on him a few days ago, and he’s been hiding.  I just... I’m worried.”

Pepper turned and leaned against the counter and rolled her lower lip into her mouth.  “I know he’s in his lab, he’s been there since you gave him the information.  I know... About what you told him.  I take him food,” she said glancing at the small plate of food next to her.  Laying her hand on Steve’s forearm, she smiled at him.  “I know Tony, he is not mad at you.  He wants to understand, and he wants to find out what happened.”  

“So much has happened, especially these past couple of years.  Too many good people have been lost, and at times I wonder if it is all worth it.”  Steve leaned against the counter listening to the coffee pot brew, looking out at the city.  “I remember growing up here, everything was simple back then.  Yeah it wasn’t easy, Bucky some times worked three jobs just so we could keep a roof over our heads, the heat on and maybe some oatmeal on a good day.  Jobs were tough to come by, food as well.  I was sick all the time, but I never had to choose whether or not someone lived or died.  Granted my dream was to be a soldier and if it wasn’t for Dr. Erskine I wouldn’t have been able to do that.  But at times. I wonder if what we are doing is right?  Nothing has ever been black and white, despite what everyone believes I don’t see the world that way.  There is a lot of gray, but now... There are so many layers to everything it’s hard to know who is good and who is evil.  Most are both it’s how they chose to act.”

“Tony and his father never got along, he has a lot of .... Resentment and anger toward Howard that I don’t think he will ever be able to get past.”  Pepper grabbed one of he cups of coffee and started to fill it.  “Howard did a lot of great things, don’t get me wrong, but he was a horrible father.  Does that mean that he should have been killed, no.  But I know if Hydra was involved, whatever he did or they thought he knew nothing anyone could have done would have stopped them.  They would have used any means necessary, and I for one AM grateful they went that route and not say... Blow up the house with Tony in it.”  Filling both Steve’s and another cup, Pepper placed two of the cups on the small tray she had.  “Now I’m going to make sure Tony gets something to eat, why don’t you come with me.  See for yourself.  He doesn’t blame you.”

When the elevator arrived at the lab, Steve caught Bruce asleep on one of the couches in a corner as Tony had a wall of images up still going through it all.  He had to wonder if Tony had slept at all since receiving the data, and as much as he hoped he had Steve knew deep down that he hadn’t.  The glass door slide open and a ragged Tony looked over at them, “You know, pops wasn’t the best of men by any form of the imagination.  But this... Even I couldn’t have imagined this,” Tony said with a wave of his hand.  “I thought, why not just get to the dirty stuff first, get the anger out of the way so I can focus on the task at hand.  Simple little search for Stark, Howard and as you can see...”  Steve took in everything that was laid out before him in holographic images.  Every wall, every surface was littered with papers, images, video files, you name it, it was there.  “I wanted to be mad at Barnes in a way, I mean he did kill my parents which trust me lead to many years and a whole hell of a lot of money in therapy but then I started looking... How can I be mad at him when he never would have existed if it wasn’t for dear ol pop.”

“Tony,” Steve asked as he began to take in some of the items littering the room.  Videos of Bucky’s torture, medical experiments, files upon files lining every surface of the room.  “SHIELD didn’t know about Bucky, or at least from what I can tell and trust me I may not believe most things that Fury has ever told me, but I do believe he didn’t know.  And I know that Peggy didn’t.”

“Ahh, but that’s the thing isn’t it,” Tony began as he pulled out a piece of paper he had printed out.  “To Dr. Armin Zola signed Howard A. Stark.  All right here in black and white... Well and some red but right here.”  Tony handed the paper to Steve as he went to pick up more documents.

“And I quote, All documentation will be filed with SHIELD upon completion of the process,” Tony stated raising one finger.  “SHIELD facilities will be available, weekly updates to myself, and no testing will be allowed without express permission.”  Tony went and pulled up a diagram.  “Oh and approval for the prosthesis is approved.”  Tony threw the plans for what they now knew was Bucky’s arm across the table in front of him.  “Everything... I have files upon fucking files of notes and letters and diagrams, and medical experiments that they did on Barnes and my father approved them all.”  Tony went and pulled up another group of files lining them up on the holographic display.  “And here,” he said zeroing in on one.  “They did tests on his damn brain.  All of course SHIELD sanctioned, mind you, to see just what areas of the brain controls what.  What parts could be eliminated or enhanced.”  Tony leaned against a desk, shaking his head.  “I have cross-referenced everything here with what was released on the internet and so far I have hits on almost every document my father signed, on some of the tests done.  Of course, no name of the ‘volunteer’ was ever made, and I do think Zola would not have made the videos available to SHIELD at least nothing that could have been recognizable, but seeing them now... It’s Barnes.  And SHIELD and my father allowed it to happen.”

Steve could only walk over to one of the videos playing in a constant loop, Bucky curled up naked in the corner of a dark room, blood dripping from many wounds, eyes blank as he stared at the camera as if telling them he wasn’t broken.  “What type of test on his brain?” Steve asked unable to turn his gaze from the look in Bucky’s eyes before him.  His heart ached seeing Bucky hurt, but still trying to stand strong.  “He doesn’t even seem to notice he’s hurt.”

“That is part of it,” Bruce said with a stretch from the couch.  “We are still going over it all, and without more recent scans we can’t be sure.”  Bruce went over, silently accepting a cup of coffee from Pepper as he walked over to one of he monitors.  “This is a normal brain.  It is known that we only use about twenty percent of our brain, but Hydra they knew that they couldn’t really erase his memories, they had to block them.”  Bruce pulled up a scan that was on file.  “What we can figure out, as Tony said, they worked to figure out what part of the brain was being used for certain functions, pain, muscle control, memory, so on.  The areas they didn’t want they used electric shock to ‘block’ the area so to speak.”

Tony took a sip of his own coffee and pointed to one area on the scan.  “Those ‘blocks’ are actually scare tissue, a way to block the connection between that area and the rest of his brain.  Over time of course these would start to heal due to the advanced healing, so they would have to keep doing it.  It was a temporary fix.”

“It wasn’t just memories it appears they either tried to eliminate or block, pain receptors for one.  I would be surprised if he can feel pain anymore at least in the long term,” Bruce took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  The more and more Tony and he dug, the more upset he became.  Just thinking of someone doing this to another human being was almost too much for him to bear.  Doctors were not supposed to do this, not even scientists, but here Hydra was doing these without any remorse.  

Steve turned toward them and nodded.  “On the Hellicarrier, I broke his arm.  He screamed for a little while, but... He got right up and shot me.”

Bruce nodded, hating his thought most likely be true, all he could hope was that one day some of the damage that Hydra had done to Barnes could be reversed.  “Anyway, we know that when you block or cut off portions of ones brain it limits the ability to function, so Hydra found a way to open other areas of the brain to take over some of the functions they had to cut off.”

Pepper grabbed Tony’s coffee and took a small sip herself before handing it back to him with a small smile.  “What does that mean?”

“The Winter Soldier even with the areas of his brain cut off from the rest, he was operating with at least 30 percent of his brain.  This allowed them to put in information they needed him to know, language, weapons, computers, whatever.  It also was needed to work as a connection between the prosthetic and the rest of his body, it is how he can control it like a normal arm.”

Steve could only shake his head, wishing not for the last time that Zola was still alive so he could kill him all over again.  “What happens if the portions of his brain that they ... Blocked, become unblocked.  Is it possible?”

“Just the fact that, with what you have told us, he is remembering the past, more of his brain is reconnecting after all this time.  Since he is not being ‘wiped’ on a regular basis his body is repairing itself,” Bruce explained.  “This is where we would need a recent scan.  See if with the return of the parts Hydra tried to eliminate coming back if that now will close off any of the parts that they had opened up.”

“He could end up being one of the smartest men in the world, or at least able to do things no one else has dreamed of.  He could end up having half of his brain active at once, now what they will do...”  Tony shrugged himself for this was something he had no clue on, but he swore to himself he would consult and learn all he could.  This ultimately could go either way, and Tony just hoped for all involved it ended up on the good end of the spectrum. 

Steve heard his phone start to go off and he took a deep breath to calm himself before answering it without looking.  “Hello?”

“Steve, listen.  Don’t say my name, you never know who may be listening.  Just know, I’m safe and... Well I’m safe.”

“Are you hurt,” Steve asked as he moved away from the others to the other side of the room.  Steve had completely forgotten that it had been two days since he had last heard from Bucky and remembered that Bucky had mentioned another base.  Steve hadn’t expected a phone call, just another text message but he was grateful for the chance to hear Bucky’s voice.  

“Look, I need your help.  Not you but... I found more, Steve.  We have to get them to safety, I just...”

“Where are you?”  Steve glanced over at Tony, Bruce and Pepper as the three continued to look over some data.

“I...” He laughed.  “I really have no fucking clue.  All of these are starting to run together.”

“Listen... I have an idea, but...”  Steve ran his hand through his hair and continue to look over at the others.  “I’m with Stark now.  We can find where you are at and get them.  Let us help.”

Steve heard Bucky take a deep breath and some rustling around, as if Bucky was trying to get settled.  “Fine... Trace it.”

“Ok, just a second,” Steve walked back over to the others, setting his phone on the table between them.  “Can we trace this call?”

“Yeah, that’s easy enough.”  Tony raised his eyebrow at Steve and shrugged.  “JARVIS, Trace the call on Steve’s phone will you?”

“OF COURSE SIR.  BEGINNING TRACE NOW.”

Steve picked up the phone again and signed in relief.  “Ok, Buck, we’ll find where you are at.  Are you by them?”

The others’ eyes went wide and Tony started waving for Steve to place the phone on speaker.  Steve shook his head no, but he watched at Tony typed something into his computer and Steve heard it all come through on the speakers around the room.  “Yeah, I’m near them.  Got them out, have them safe for now.  Don’t know how long I can have them here.  It’s not safe for me to be here, Hydra will be looking for me and the longer I’m here the more danger they are in.”

“We’re tracing you now, we’ll find them, I promise.”  Steve gave Tony an evil look as he tried to just concentrate on Bucky.  “How many are there, Buck?”

“I know they are listening and they most likely are wanting to ask so might as well just put me on speaker.”

Steve once again glared at the others as he placed his phone on speaker and set it on the table.  “Ok, Buck. How many are there?  Are they hurt?”

“Fifty, maybe.  May be more, may be less.  I don’t know.  Some, luckily I remember my field medical training.  God knows I’ve used it enough in recent years.”  They heard what sounded like Bucky sitting down and a slight curse.  “Have some hurt, had to carry a couple, but most are able to walk just I wouldn’t suggest too far.”

Steve pulled a chair over as he watched the display on the trace.  He knew Bucky would have a phone that would be ‘untraceable’ in many ways so Hydra wouldn’t be able to get to him, it was a great idea except for now when they needed the information.  “How are you doing?  You holding up ok?”

“I’m fine.”  They listened as he took a deep breath.  “Fuck, Stevie, tell me ... Did we free some people from the trains in Poland during the summer of 44?  I have this... These images.... I swear, Steve these people here... It was just like that.  Fucking car upon car filled with people ready for ‘testing’,” Bucky practically cursed the word.  “Did we do that?  I...”

“Yeah, Buck, we did.  It was ... I don’t remember I think it was July ‘44.  They were being shipped off to a concentration camp.  It wasn’t what our mission was but..”

“Dernier thought he knew people on the train, that it had come from France.  I remember...I remember waiting.  Dernier had explosives ready on the tracks, I remember lining up the shot to take out the conductor as it came around the bend.... You got hurt, shoulder...”

“Yeah, you refused to talk to me for a week after that,” Steve laughed as he remembered that day.  He had run toward the train before the explosives or Bucky’s shot could stop the train, just ran head first onto the train starting to rip the doors to the cars off as he fought the Nazi’s.  “It wasn’t until Dum Dum got tired of being our messenger and he hit you upside the head that you would talk to me again.”

“I remember.  I was so pissed at you.  Always fucking wanting to save the damn world.  You know you can’t right?  You know you’re not fucking invincible that you can fucking die, right?’

“Yeah, Buck, I know.”

“why do I not believe you?”

“Cause you know me,” Steve laughed slightly.  “Bucky are you ok?”

“My head hurts... Can’t get rid of this damn headache.  Think it has been with me for the past week.”

“Are you having black outs,” Bruce asked.  He had a note pad he was writing notes on during the call.

“No... Maybe... Fuck I don’t know.  All I know is that everything looks the same, but then again doesn’t.  I’m scared.... What if... What if I have these blackouts?  What if... I do something....”

“You won’t.  Bucky the fact that you are aware of it,” Steve started to say.  

Tony stared at Steve, daring him to continue.  They all knew that at this moment, they didn’t know anything.  “Headaches,” Tony asked as both him and Bruce took notes as they continued to go through the data that Steve had handed them.  Trying to diagnose an issue from who knew how many miles away.  For all they knew he could be right around the block.  

“Yes... Fuck,” Bucky had said on the other line.  They heard him moving, the sound of leaves or something being moved and a door opening.  “Tell me you have the damn trace yet.”

“WE ARE WITHIN A TEN MILE RADIUS OF YOUR LOCATION NOW, SIR,” JARVIS stated across the speakers.  

“Hurry the fuck up, cause we’re about to have company,” Bucky stated.  They heard another door open and the sounds of frightened people gathered inside.  _< ”Listen, ok? Take this, do not turn it off.’> _Bucky said in another language.  JARVIS translated for them all as they watched as the trace narrowed down the location.  _< ’Help is coming, but I need you to keep this with you and don’t turn it off.  This is how they will find you.  Take these too.  When the people come to rescue you, I need you to give this to Anthony Stark.  Only him ok?  He will help you.’>  _They heard Bucky give a couple some guns for protection and told them to shoot anyone who didn’t use a certain phrase.  “You hear that Steve?  Tell the people coming to say that phrase.”

“What are you gonna do, Buck,” Steve asked knowing what he was planning but hating every minute of it.  He wished he could be there with Bucky.  Steve quickly wrote down the code phrase and handed it to Tony who passed it along to his ‘team’.  

‘I’m going to lure them away.  They want me, not them... Well want me more anyway.  You take care of these people, Stark, fix em up.  Looks like I’ll be missing the next check in, Stevie.  I’ll contact you as soon as I can.  Remember your promise.” Bucky’s voice sounded a little farther away from the phone.  “Love you.”

“Bucky,” Steve tried but they heard a door open and close leaving only the sound of scared frightened people behind.  It wasn’t long after sounds of screams, gun fire and explosions going off in the distance over the phone.  “Dammit, how far out is the help?”

“TEN MINUTES, SIR.”  Steve felt like it was the longest ten minutes of his life and all in the room waited, listening to the sounds of death coming through the speakers and unable to do anything about it.  

“Had em on the ropes,” came a voice on the other end.  They heard a door open and heavy footsteps walking on the hard-wood floors.  “Situation secure.  Christ, Tony, when you said you found some hostages I didn’t think I would end up in a damn warzone near the Russian boarder.”

“Rhodey, I cannot than you enough.  I owe you one,” Tony said as he ran his hand through his hair.  

“These more of the Hydra Hostages right?  No payment necessary, you know that.  Anything to get back at those guys.  Now... Hey,” they heard Rhodey bend down so he was level with the kid Bucky had been talking to.  “I’m Rhodey. We’re gonna get you somewhere safe ok?  We’ll get them to you in the next few hours, Tony.  Just need to wait on the rest of the transport.”

Tony nodded as he began to type more information into his computer, freeing up locations and staff to help the new group of refugees.  “Any hostiles around?”

“No, dead bodies.  A lot of em, but looks like they hightailed it out of here.  You do know you have some explaining to do, right?”

“Oh yeah, once I know something I’ll tell you.  Thanks again.”  

Steve grabbed his phone and could only walk out of the room.  He had to blow off some steam, not knowing when or if he would hear from Bucky again would tear him apart.  Once he calmed down some, he would get Tony and Bruce to help him find Bucky’s daughter.  No matter what, he wouldn’t let Bucky down in this.   

Tony glanced at Bruce and let out a deep breath.  “Looks like this is on hold for a bit... Shall we prepare for our guests, Doctor?”  Tony glanced back up at the files he had displayed, hating that he would have to set all of it aside.  “He’ll be fine....”

~~~***~~~***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stuff with the brain, idea came from movie Lucy.  Will be slightly different but basic idea came from that. 
> 
> Two chapters in a day.... Three this week.  Wow... Yeah getting into the fun stuff, or at least the parts I had partly written.  Hope you all enjoy.  Already have the next couple of chapters planned out.  Plan for Sunday updates still, but if I get too far ahead in my chapters maybe more updates then just Sundays.  But for now, plan every Sunday still.  
> 
> And here is the ‘drawing’ Steve did on “Uncle Sam” hehe.  No I didn’t actually draw it, but bunch of images together then ‘drawn’.  Just had to.


	8. 1.8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off thank you all, I feel so humbled and honored by all of you. Thank you just doesn't feel like enough. Love you all.   
> Real quick, want to add this. Thank you, TwoHeartsAreBetterThan1 for the WONDERFUL drawing for chapter 6. All of you have just filled my heart with so much love I cannot say enough.   
> http://alynnx.tumblr.com/post/100058304224/so-ive-been-reading-acacia-macs-the-lone

~~~***~~~***

** 1.8 **

Bucky moved quickly and quietly through the dense forest trying to make it to one of his safe bunkers.  He couldn’t even call them houses, just caves or old bomb shelters, anything he could have found.  With his memory returning, many of this little locations were returning.  He still wasn’t sure why he had created them before.  Even during his time with Hydra and under their control, Bucky had known in the back of his head he would need locations where he could go, where he could rest, eat, get supplies.  He had many he remembered already throughout the world.  He was beginning to think every mission he had been sent on, he had set one up.  Bucky figured it must have been a small survival instinct within him, telling him that Hydra would not be around forever, that if Hydra left him for dead, or whatever he would need a way to survive.  

No matter what had caused him to create these location, he was grateful for them now.  

After two days, Bucky had finally felt he had a far enough gap between him and the Hydra agents who were after him that he quickly made his way back south, never stopping.  He was hungry, sore, his left arm was overheating and he was able to shut it down for now before there was any further damage.  He knew his feet were most likely bleeding from constantly being on his feet and running the past two days and he couldn’t wait to take the damn boots off.  He knew he had just missed his ‘check-in’ with Steve, but now the kid he had given his phone to was more important.  He would find a way to get back in touch, it would just take a day or so before he could figure that part out.  Right now all Bucky wanted to do was get off his feet, eat, heal and fix his damn arm.  Some of his wounds had already started to heal, and Bucky knew he would have to reopen a couple to dig the bullets out.  

The worst was that he was now tired, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt tired.  He was tired of running, of fighting, of remembering.  He knew Hydra had cut out the need for him to sleep, but since seeing Steve, Bucky was just bone tired.  He had a taste of what life could be like, what it could have been like if both had survived and a part of him wished he could have that for longer.  But he had a mission, he had to make sure Steve and his daughter were safe.  He had to find Hydra and stop them so they couldn’t do to others what they had done to him.  Maybe one day he could go back and find some sort of peace, the peace he only seemed to find in Steve’s arms.  

Reaching the hideout, Bucky removed the panel and placed in his code.  Once inside, Bucky stripped his jacket and headed straight to the med kit he had under the small rack in the corner.  He had a slug still in his right shoulder, one in his leg and he was sure the gut shot he had taken needed to be drained.  His leg and gut would be easy, the hard part would be his right shoulder.  Bucky was pretty sure he would just have to leave the bullet in there and mess with it at a later time.  They had used tank armor piercing bullets and Bucky knew that right now trying to use his left arm would be useless.  The bullet they had gone through the arm, damaging some of the gears and who knew what else.  He would have to read up on the files he had on the arm to try and fix it.  

No matter what, Bucky knew he was stuck in this hole for a few days.  Hydra was still around, most likely they wouldn’t quit until they were sure there was no secret hiding places.  Bucky wouldn’t be able to handle a stand-off right now with his injuries.  So any hope to let Steve know he was alright is out of the question at least by phone.  Turning to one of he desks he had set up, Bucky glanced at the computer he had.  It wasn’t that old, having updated it before he left on the mission, Bucky would just have to find a way to hack into a system and get a message out.  

First order of business was wounds, then food, clean up and research arm.  Then he would contact Steve.  One way or another.

~~~***~~~***

Steve walked into team ‘entertainment’ room and grabbed a bottle of water out of he small fridge behind the bar.  The rest of the group were already gathered around the room, Tony, Bruce and Rhodey standing in the corner in some heated debate.  Natasha was sitting next to Pepper as the two glanced a laptop in front of them.  Steve could only move to sit down in one of the chairs, phone in hand.  He had not set his phone down wanting to be sure he caught Bucky’s message at all costs.  “How long has it been,” Natasha asked looking up at Steve.  

“Four days,” Steve leaned back, glancing down at his phone.  “Right now it is wait.  If I don’t hear from him by tomorrow I’m heading out.  We know his last location, and I’ll start there.”

“Steve, that was the last thing he wanted, you know that,” Natasha stated leaning forward to place her elbows on her knees.  “He will contact you when he can.  He gave his phone to the child, he has to attain another one.”

“By tomorrow, then I head out,” Steve said with a hint of finality to it.  When he had agreed to Bucky’s plan he told himself that two days, five max then he would hunt Bucky down.  Steve glanced over at the three in the corner and nodded.  “What are they fighting about?”

Pepper looked up at the men in the corner and shook her head.  “Rhodey wants to know what is going on and Tony is only giving him the bare necessities, but Rhodey is pushing of course.  So they are trying to go over the the information on the refugees and what the government can do to help them.”

“Anything about Bucky,” Steve asked wondering what Colonel Rhodes would do if he knew that the person who had rescued the refugees was none other than the Winter Soldier.  Heck if the Colonel even knew about Hydra’s weapon... Former weapon.

Natasha only shrugged and looked down at her phone.  “Sure he wants to know but... Well I’ll be.”  Quickly she typed something in her phone as the others looked at her.  

_ JBB_WS : Steve around? _

_ Natasha :  Facebook?  really? _

_ JBB_WS : Haven't had time to get a damn phone and frankly you were the only one I could find, don't know who is the "real" anyone on this damn thing.  Seems everyone and their brother is one of you guys.  Damn fuck fucking asswipes _

_ Natasha : Yeah Let me tag him in here so you can friend him and whatever.  Facebook...   _ Natasha could only smile as she looked at her phone quickly adding everyone she could to the conversation.  Phones started to buzz notifying them of a conversation, and Natasha laughed.  

_ JBB_WS : Really?  Everyone? _

_ Natasha : Not everyone.  I didn't add Fury, Clint, or Thor to it. _

_ Steven : Bucky? _

_ IronMan : Well bust my balls, one of the old timers is at least up to date on the 21st century.  There is hope yet. _

_ Steven : Fuck you, Stark. _

_ IronMan : You know since finding you around, Barnes, I think I have heard Spangles swear more.  Is that new or just reverting to the good ol' days.  Not real "Star-Spangled man" image I'm sure... _

_ JBB_WS : hell he can cuss with the best of em trust me.   _

_ Steven : You're worse. _

_ JBB_WS : Yeah well I was never 'proper' to begin with... At least I don't think I was. _

_ Bruce : How are you doing?  Headaches still? _

Tony laughed as he caught Rhodey trying to look over his shoulder and could only type his reply.  _IronMan : Always the doctor, ruining my fun._

_ Natasha : Shut up Stark. _

_ JBB_WS : Always headaches.  I deal.  Sorry couldn't contact you sooner, Stevie.  Just lost Hydra two days ago, had them snooping around here this morning.  Not the best of time to try and get a new phone. _

_ Steven : You're ok, though right? _

_ JBB_WS : yeah I'm ok.  Just.. fuck, dammit... damn son of a bitch. _

_ Steven : What?  Bucky? _

_ JBB_WS : Dammit, sorry have this damn voice to text chat thing hooked up.  Working with one hand right now.  Damn fucker got me in my arm so trying to fix it. _

_ IronMan : Ahh Metal Arm repair I can help.  What's the damage? _

_ JBB_WS : Hit me with some damn piercing bullets, went right through some of the gears, fried one of the circuit boards just... HA bout damn time. Couldn't get the fucker out. _

Tony quickly went over and raised the chat on one screen and began to pull up the schematic on another.  _IronMan : Location?_

_ JBB_WS : you have the schematics? _

_ IronMan : yes, pulling up now.  You know this would be a lot easier if we were on IDK Skype so I could see or Video Chat. _

_ JBB_WS : I hacked my way into a server just to get on here.  Just a damn minute... fuck... let me see.  Not the damn easiest thing to do Stark.... You do know the whole trying not to get caught thing right? _

_ IronMan : Look I can have JARVIS tap into your computer.  You have a camera right? _

_ JBB_WS : Yeah... You're secure right?  Look not to be all paranoid or anything but I do have Hydra basically breathing down my neck here.  Really don't want to try and get into a gun fight one handed. _

_ IronMan : Secure trust me. _

_ JBB_WS : Don't trust easily. _

_ Steven : Bucky... You can trust him.  If not... well I'll smash him over the head with my shield ok? _

_ JBB_WS : fine, let me change one of my settings.  Let's hope all the shit they put into my head about this crap works for something. _

"WE ARE LOCKED IN, SIR."

"Good, now... ok, let's see what we got there, Barnes." Tony said as the video feed from Barnes' location appeared across one of the walls.  "Is it safe to add some more light?"

"Just a second," Bucky said as they watched his shadow move closer to the computer and the light above it came on.  "Not a damn word, Stevie.  I'm fine.  I'll heal anyway," Bucky said knowing that Steve had seen the blood on his face , knuckles, and the healing bullet hole near his right shoulder.  "Ok, now Stark, let's see how good you are."

"Oh I'm good, just of course not used to working on something that is millions of miles away, let me see," Tony was switching his view between the screen and the schematic.  "What does the circuit board look like?"

Bucky held it up and shook his head.  "It is a goner.  Which really fucking sucks cause I tell you, this is how I am able to hide the damn arm.  Fuck."  Setting the board down, Bucky reached back into the open area of his arm and pulled out one of the gears.  "Remind me to check the bases for used parts BEFORE I blow them up.  It was circuit board K278 by the way, and looks like all the wires around it are fried too.”

Tony locked into the section and began to look through everything around there and what may be used as an alternative.  “Motor functions?”

“Some gears destroyed, and of course some wires,” Bucky said as he pulled out one of the gears and showed the small camera on top of his computer.  “Think an old wind-up clock gear can work?”

“I wouldn’t suggest it for long, may last for a day or two,” Tony said shaking his head.  “Is it overheating, bring the camera closer to the wires, let me look.”  Tony watched the camera zoom into the open bay in Bucky’s arm and nodded.  “Melted.  Look, I can gather some supplies get it to a location for you to pick up, and a Stark phone too.  This way we can reach you if needed, and you wont have to worry about it being traced by anyone but us.”

Bucky leaned back from the camera and looked toward the side.  “Just tell me what I can do to fix it, temporary or not.  I will steal some shit from the next base once I know it is secure,” he said as gave a slight frown.  “Just...”

“Look it won’t be too much.  We can have something there by tomorrow, you can just grab it and blam, all fixed,” Tony stated as he started to make a list of items.  “Just need to know a general location and...” 

“Tony,” Steve began as he watched the screen, eyes narrowing.  “What is that,” he whispered.  “Bucky,” Steve asked as he watched Bucky start to shake his head and run his fingers through his hair.  “Bucky... What...”

“No, no, I won’t do it.. Make it stop,” Bucky started to whisper.  “NO,” Bucky lashed out and hit the small camera on the computer sending it flying.  They all could hear a gun cocking, and things getting thrown around. 

“Tony, what the hell did they say,” Steve asked.  “There!” he screamed hearing something again but catching that the others weren’t hearing it.  “Enhance that.”

“ENHANCING NOW, SIR,” JARVIS responded and began to play back the audio.  ‘Ме́жду мо́лотом и накова́льней,’ was being repeated his a high frequency range in the background.  A range that only someone with enhanced hearing would be able to detect.  

Natasha’s eyes snapped up and immediately grabbed her tablet.  “Stark, put the conversation on here NOW!” Once she had the feed on her tablet, Natasha walked outside onto the large patio and began to hear her talk in Russian to Bucky.  

Tony could only stand there and watch the screen as they caught a glimpse of Bucky sitting on the floor, gun in hand, rocking back and forth.  “JARVIS Mute our end.  What the hell was that?”

Bruce shook his head as he began to pull up the files they had received on Bucky.  “A trigger of some sort, possibly.  He stopped talking, and you could see the agitation in his movements.”

“Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on,” Rhodey asked looking around at everyone.  “Is that the guy that caused that mess in DC a few months ago?  Why are you helping him?  We need to bring him in.”

“Rhodey, trust me on this... That isn’t the same guy that did that.  I know, you have to trust me on this,” Tony tried to explain to his friend.  “I promise once we avert whatever this is, and things calm down I swear I will tell you everything, but you have to trust me right now.”

“You better, Tony.”

Fifteen minutes later, Natasha came back into the room and handed her tablet to Steve.  “Talk to him, remind him.  I got him past the initial phase, help bring him out of it.”  With a nod, Steve went out the way she had come in, wanting the privacy to try and talk to Bucky.  “Боже мой,” she swore as she sat down on the couch and went to watching the feed they still had up.  “It was a trigger phrase, one the Red Room used on it’s best people.  He is fighting it, which I’m sure you can tell.”

“What does it mean,” Pepper asked as she sat down next to Natasha with a cup of tea.

“Literal translation is Between hammer and anvil,” she laughed slightly.  “Don't ask, half of their phrases never made sense if you thought about them.  That was one they had programmed into me, one that would bring us out of hiding and back to our handlers.  When you had isolated it, hell I almost ran back, and I have had it out of me for years.  The fact he is able to fight it goes to how far he has come in just a couple of months.”  She stole a look out to the patio and sighed.  “Now it’s Steve’s turn to help him remember who he is, and not what he is.”

Tony ran his hands over his face and screamed into his hands.  “If i didn’t hate Hydra before, well I hate them even more now.  We’ll start digging into any trigger words, phrases, whatever we can find.  See if there is any way to stop them.”  Tony walked over to Pepper and handed her the list he had made.  “We have to get these items to him and fast.  I don’t like that he is trying to do this one handed.”

“Check for kill switches too,” Natasha added.  “With someone as good as he was, they will have them in place most likely.  I doubt you will find a lot on either, most likely that was saved only for the very high up in the Red Room and Hydra but whatever we can find.  Once he realizes he can come back, we can start the deprogramming, or finish what he hasn’t done on his own.”

_ “You ok, Buck,” _ Steve’s voice came over the small speakers.  

_ “Yeah, yeah Stevie, I’ll be ok.  Head hurts, but it’ll pass,” _ Bucky responded sounded tired and worn out.  The group watched the screen the events of the past half hour having played quietly in the background around them.  

They heard Steve take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  _“Let us help, Bucky.  Stark has all you need to fix your arm.  The phone also can only help.  Please.”_

_ “Ok... Fine.  I’m too damn tired to fight.  The gear, but not you.  Not now,” _ Bucky replied as he leaned forward a little trying to stand.  _“I’ll send you a location.  48 hours, and I plan to be gone.”_

_ “we’ll make sure it’s there.  Do you need help?” _

_ “I need you to find her, Steve.  They will be coming for you both and I need to know...” _

_ “We’ll find her, Buck.  I promise.” _

Bucky stood and went over to his computer.  _“Gotta go, I’ll send the location.  Love you, Steve.”_

_ “I love you, too.”  _ Steve whisper as the connection ended.  Natasha stood and headed out toward him, knowing how he must be feeling and wanting to give him some hope.  “I hate this.”  Steve placed the tablet down on the ground, pulled his knees up to rest his head on them.  

“Come on, I have a few ideas.  Everything will work out, trust me,” she said with a small smile as she held her hand out to him.  Reaching out, Steve took her hand and stood.  “There’s some things you need to know.”  As they passed the others Natasha nodded at them, reaching out to put her hand on Bruce’s shoulder.  “Get the stuff around then we’ll start on the other.  There’s something I need you guys to do.”

“We’ll be here,” Bruce smiled as they watched the two leave the room heading toward Steve’s apartment.  Heading over to make himself a cup of tea, Bruce tried to gather his thoughts and reel in the anger he felt starting to brew inside him.  “We should start with the triggers and kill switches, if those continue then we may not have a Barnes to do help.”

“Agree, that should also help us come up with a deprogramming plan.  In honesty that should help the refugees as well, since it looks like some of them have been brainwashed,” Tony stated as he started to search for anything that could be used against Bucky.  “Rhodey, you want to know what is going on, here’s your chance.  Pepper can we get a laptop with access for him up here?”  Turning to his best friend, Tony laid a hand on his shoulder.  “I shouldn’t have to tell you that anything you learn here, for now, has to stay here.  I can’t have the government know about this yet.  In time, yes, but not now.  There’s too much at stake.”  Rhodey nodded and went to the computer that Pepper had supplied.  “Trust me, none of it will be fun to read.”

~~~***~~~***

End of Act I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this part is a little shorter, but basically had already written a part that fits in for the next ‘Act’ of this story. Plus this is a good section to move forward. Not sure how many in the end ‘chapters’ this story will be but this is the end of the first “Act” So anyway, will have the next part Sunday, have some parts I have to change in the next part since it was originally going to be later in the story, and some other sections I want to add. Sunday’s part will be longer for sure.   
> Thank you all for your love and support. Big hugs to all of you. Without you, I most likely would have stopped this whole craziness and given up. Bisous!


	9. Search and Destroy Part 2.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Search begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few hours early, but may add another chapter later today. Will all depend on if I don't need to do a re-write on some parts. So not quite sure yet... but maybe.  
> Wrote the majority of this chapter while I was still on "Sometimes" have had to re-write portions of it since I had changed what my path was when I started writing this story. If you notice anything let me know. Think it makes sense and I got all the parts fixed. (hmmm two re-reads of it and it looks right) but let me know if something doesn't make sense.  
> As usual, all mistakes are mine.

~~~***~~~***

Search and Destroy

2.1

_ Grab your gun, time to go to hell _

_ I'm no hero guilty as charged _

Steve leaned back on the couch staring up at the ceiling as he heard the door close behind Sam.  He had to regroup, he had to think.  It has been coming up on a year now since the events in DC, since Steve found out that Bucky was alive.  Eleven months since his whole world turned on it’s axis. Steve still remembers looking at his best friend’s face on the streets of DC, the blank look he received when he mentioned his name.  Steve had felt the guilt come back a million times over.  He knew that all he had to do was get more time with Bucky, they knew each other in ways that no one else did.  Eleven months of chasing Bucky throughout the US and Europe hadn’t hurt as much as seeing Bucky so broken, so lost on that video call was almost too much to bear.

“Steve,” came a voice from near the door and Steve opened his eyes to see Natasha leaning against the wall looking at him.  Since Natasha had dragged Steve down to his room, she had stood there, watching and waiting.  

Steve wasn’t ready to talk, he had to stop himself from running to the airport and finding Bucky himself.  Steve sat up, running his hand across his face, needing to gather his strength  Standing he made is way to the small kitchen off to the side of the room.  “Coffee?”

“Sure.”  Natasha followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.  “I can only guess at what you are feeling right now.”  Not receiving a response from the man in front of her she turned slightly to look toward the living area.  “You know he most likely doesn’t want to be found again, and if he’s even half as good as what we think he is you wont find him unless he wants you to right?  We have the chance to help him, we will, but if he even thinks that anyone is there he will run and we won’t get a second chance.”

“I know,” Steve said as he handed her a cup and filled his own.  “But you should know me better than that if you think I’ll just give up,that I won’t be there if he is trouble.  I can’t…”

“Then what?  SHIELD is gone, Hydra is still out there.  There’s still a lot of people out there there looking for him.  A lot of people.”  Natasha made her way over to one of the windows and stared out at the city. Natasha shook her head, wondering how much she should tell him of the information she had been able to attain.  “I’ve been doing my own digging.  He is definitely remembering, may be too much.”  She noticed Steve sit straighter in his chair from the reflection in the window.  “Hydra, Red Room, KGB… Numerous other organizations have had bases throughout Europe, Russia and the US.  We know the ones in the US he already infiltrated and destroyed, some in Europe.  He had a list, major players.  He won’t come back until they are all dead, you know that right?”

“I know, trust me I know.”  Steve could only set his cup on the small table beside him and run his hand through his hair.  “It’s just... He doesn’t have to do it alone.”

“Yasha can take care of himself, trust me.  But I have been thinking about that, and as long as you can promise to stay out of trouble, I will go and help him out.”  Natasha turned so she could face the man she had grown to admire.  “I believe he knows where the locations are at, either he is remembering them, or he finds out from various sources, and he is waiting.  For who is on his list, things will go better with someone else who knows how things work and know these people as well as he does.”

“What is in it for you?  Revenge?  I know you were a part of the Red Room you mentioned that, but what do you get out of it?  I know we are friends and I trust you, but you don’t owe us anything so what is the reason why you want to help him so much?”

“Payback, revenge, recompense…making the world a better place, eliminating a serious threat… whatever the reasons,” she said with a small shrug.  Steve could tell there was more, and he could only hope she would tell him.  Good or bad.  He stared at her letting her know he knew there was more.  Natasha could only glance down at the cup in her hand, wishing it was stronger.  “As I said, I’ve been doing my own digging.  Trying to find out what I could about … Him.”  Taking a deep breath, she glanced up meeting Steve’s eyes.  “While I was at it I found out some things about you.”

Steve sat up straighter in the chair and leaned forward.  “What sort of things?”

“As you know about the whole Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamic for one.  Pregnancy...”

“Not exactly news.  You going to tell me what you know and how you know it?”  Steve had been wondering and wanting to know since she had shown up to tell him to stop taking the medication.  He had held off asking again, hoping she would come to him.  

“What do you know,” she asked him knowing he was studying here, gathering information.  She was impressed and a little saddened.  The Steve of old was never this cunning, he was a person she never would have expected to try and work a person like he had already started with her.  He had started after the whole ‘Avengers’ mess, and working with SHIELD, but he was never this deflective before.  Natasha wondered how much of a part she had with this change in him, or if the man had just reached the breaking point in the past few years.  

Steve shrugged and raised his eyebrow.  “You tell me what you know and I’ll tell you what I know.  That’s how it works doesn’t it?”

Letting a deep breath out, Natasha reached into her into her bag and pulled out a file.  “As you and I know, Doctor Erskine knew that in making Super Soldiers, especially in the amount that the Army wanted that he had to find a way to make it work.  It wouldn’t work if you had a bunch of conflicting… Personalities.  Your doctor friend, well he was way ahead of his time.  He had found the gene that determined a person’s trait and enhanced it.”  She watched as Steve began to read through the file she had handed him.  “What I can understand from that the ‘general’ idea of the Alpha/Omega/Beta dynamics is not completely accurate in his idea.  Say an Alpha doesn’t have to be the leader.  Think of Alpha as the protector, the one who will do what is needed to protect those they care about, can be a bit of a hot-head, but fiercely protective, one that is willing to do what is needed to do to protect those in their ‘family’.  Barnes would be my guess on that one.  You, well you’re the Omega.  The Omega in this case is more level headed, goal orientated.  While both can be great leaders, the Omega of course doesn’t look for the recognition, but will use it to their advantage if it is upon them.  Although also fiercely loyal and protective they won’t go to as great of lengths as the Alpha, their protectiveness can extend more out of the pact, even if their priority is the Alpha and their own as well.”

“We know that.  What I have yet to figure out of course is the Beta.  There’s only two of us, unless the mystery daughter is the Beta.  What is their part in all of this?”

“They would keep the two in line., help protect them and what is theirs  The strongest bond of course would be between the Alpha and the Omega.  From what I have found out it is almost like a soul bond or soul mates if you believe in that sort of thing.”  Natasha watched Steve closely as the information washed over him.  “As you read, Erskine knew that to have an effective fighting force he would need each type of personality .  So to get the proper dynamic he added to the serum a key to enhance that.”

Steve leaned back letting the information settle in his mind.  So much was starting to make sense, frighteningly so.  “And Zola had created almost the same formula, he must have figured that out as well.”

“We don’t know that, Steve,” she began, but caught Steve’s look of disbelief.  “We don’t know enough about what Barnes got how close it is to what you have, let alone how he knew.  However he got the idea, Barnes has that portion.  From what I can find out, the longer that a bonded pair is away from each other it can cause distress, a breakdown of the mind, defenses… Whatever.”  Leaning forward Natasha placed her hand on Steve’s knee.  “That would explain your anger, problems sleeping, everything you were going through.  Sam told me some of your symptoms and I figured it had to be related.”

“Alright I get that part, if nothing else lived through that part.  Most likely Hydra came up with the medication to stop my heats and eliminate my scent so that Bucky wouldn’t know it was me when and if we met.”  Steve knew he would have to investigate the pills more, he wanted, no needed to know more about them and what effect they may have in the future.  “I didn’t start to feel anything until we meet up again in DC, didn’t start to get bad until then.  Not really.  What did it do to him?  He was awake longer than me, off and on, did they do anything that you could find to control his?”  Steve asked, almost knowing and fearing the answer.  He, himself had felt out of control in the years following returning from the ‘dead’.  If it hadn’t been for Natasha finding Bucky and them spending those days together, Steve didn’t want to think of what could have happened. “What would have been the long term effects?” 

“I don’t know if they ever got that far in their research, since it was believed you were the only one.  One unbounded person, it wouldn’t effect, but one bonded…”  Natasha carefully reached into the bag she had with her and set a folder on the table.  “From what I have been able to find out, it appeared that Hydra had some issues with the Winter Soldier.  He would become violent, uncontrollable.  We can guess that Zola knew about the gene and tried to force others that could be bonded.”

“Like the Poots’ mother.  Did they do that to control him or for something else,” Steve felt slightly sick thinking of what Hydra had done.  “But what I wonder since he was already bonded what would the outcome be?”

Natasha could only look at Steve with a raised eyebrow.  “Question is, was a full bonding?”

“Do i want to know what a full bonding is?”

Natasha could only roll her eyes slightly, for Steve was horrible at deflecting answers.  “You don’t know?”  Steve only continued to glare at her.  Glaring back at him she pointed her finger at Steve.  “You’re hiding something and I’ll expect the full story, you know.  But to answer your question, they tried, but nothing worked.  It appears once bonded or mostly bonded, you cannot bond with anyone else.”  Leaning back slightly, Natasha could only look over Steve’s shoulder not sure how to explain what else she found out, or if she even wanted to.  “I was able to find two cases or attempts  One in the 80’s where they used a small portion of his DNA, Schmidt’s, some of your blood, and numerous others to create the ‘perfect male’ and impregnated one of their best female operatives. Their hope was to create the next Asset.”

“What happened,” Steve asked as he leaned forward closing the file he was looking at.  

“The child was born, a girl.  Not exactly what they had hoped for, but they saw potential.  She was trained by the best, raised in the Red Room which as I have found out was not only KGB but was Hydra.  She was the best at what she did and when she was old enough they placed her with the Winter Soldier in hopes of having the dynamic that Doctor Erskine had wanted.”

Steve felt that the air had just been forced out of his lungs.  “Why haven’t we heard of this other?  I only saw Bucky...”  Steve began until he glanced over at Natasha.  Seeing that the woman could only shrug as she looked at him, Steve knew what had become of her.  “You’re that one.”

“I knew him as Yasha.  We worked together a few times, I never knew where he went during the times we weren’t together, but...”

“You were lovers?”

“Let’s just say I’m glad he’s not my actual father more like.. Blood brother or some strange dynamic like that.  Trust me I checked I have so little of his DNA that luckily...  Anyway, we both had thought about escaping,” she said with a small smile.  “They found out, before we were separated he convinced me to leave, to get out and eventually I left.”  Natasha shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest.  “You know now that you will have to tell me about you and Barnes right?  The whole story.”  She saw as Steve rolled his eyes and nod in agreement.  “So ... I guess I was not what Hydra wanted so they came up with a plan B.  A more direct route as it was...”

“The child.”

“There was only one from what I have found out who came close to what they felt they wanted, or needed, a person who they believed could bond with him.  It was in the 90s and it seems they wanted to see if two ‘enhanced’ people could create the next generation of Super Soldiers.”

Steve closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands.  “That’s short of what I was figuring, it’s just....”

“I read the file he had found, how they forced him to rape her,”  Natasha could only sit there and watch as Steve’s heart began breaking in his chest.  “He tell you that?”  When she caught Steve’s nod she lowered her eyes.  “Once they got what they wanted they strapped him in the chair, tortured him, wiped his mind for hours maybe even days, then threw him in the Cryogenic tube for 5 or so years.  All in hopes that he would never know, never go and look for her.”

“What happened to her?” he asked trying to determine if he felt bad for her or wanted to make sure she suffered just a little of what Bucky had.  He wasn’t sure if she was forced into it all or if she was willing.  Just the thought that Bucky had been willing to run away with her, to free them from Hydra and the Red room only to have her turn him in made him feel sick.

Natasha glanced down at the file she had placed on the table and let out a deep sigh.  “The mother was killed in a raid of the village, the child...No one really knows.  She vanished after the village and everyone there was destroyed, it is believed she is dead but no body was found.” Sitting back further in her chair, let out another deep sigh.  “We’ll find her Steve.  I swear to you.  We will find her and we’ll keep her safe.  I owe him that.”

Steve walked over to her and placed his arms around her shoulders.  “It wasn’t your fault you know.”

“Pot calling the kettle black.”

“Yeah well slightly different circumstances but it wasn’t like you turned him in.”

“He could have been free back then, maybe… I don’t know…”  Shaking her head to gather her wits, she gave him a small smile.  “There was a time when I was young when I thought about what it would have been like.  A father, mother and I … a family instead of a killer.  It’s a little strange to find out you were some damn science experiment.”  Leaning forward in her chair she placed her hands on the table.  “So what’s the story?  You and Barnes?  Did you two have something before all of ... This?”

Steve could only close his eyes and realize the strange turn his life had taken in the past year.  He had been so naive, so ignorant.  From the whole Alpha/Omega side of the serum, to bonding with Bucky.  Things that had confused him back then started to make sense.  It wasn’t that he hadn’t loved Bucky before, he had maybe too much and he knew Bucky had felt the same way.  It was just that they both knew it would never work, could never work.  Bucky loved women, but he always protected Steve.  Steve always knew that Bucky would be there no matter who they ended up with in the end.  It was simply Steve and Bucky… Bucky and Steve.

The first night they had spent together was what both had always wanted but the desperation, the complete lack of caution, it had been what had to be done.  Bucky may not have had Erskine’s serum, but he had something like it, and from what Steve could figure out now, something really close if Zola was able to figure out that key piece.  From what Steve could understand, a Super Soldier isn’t complete until they are bonded with another.  

They were the only two ‘Super Soldiers,’ they had to complete the cycle, they had to complete themselves.  They had started the bonding back then but finished it just recently.  They hadn’t had time to cement the bonding back during the war, that was why he had gotten so sick from the pills Hydra had given him.  His body, his very soul had wanted to complete the bond.  The child they had was only part of it and would have helped cement the bond had it lived.  Steve just wasn’t sure if it was the pills or the time under the ice that had ended the child’s life.  

“Ok I shared with you, it’s your turn.  You do know that had you told me you were into guys, I wouldn’t have tried so hard with the women?  Tell me, was there someone?  It was years before we found out Barnes was alive.,” she said with a small smirk.

“I did tell you I was 96 not dead,” Steve gave her a small smile.  “I gave all the files that Dr. Erskine had left that or me with Peggy to Bruce, but Dr. Erskine knew that there would be a time when I would have questions.  Granted I don’t think he would have thought any of this but these are all his notes on the Alpha and Omega he has.  It’s not enough to recreate the serum, but enough that if it fell in the wrong hands...”  Steve got out of his seat and refilled his coffee cup to stare out the window.  “Basically everything you said is correct, at least according to that.  Which confirms what I thought, Hydra had learned about it somehow and knew it was needed to make a successful ‘Soldier’ at least according to Erskine.”  Steve walked toward the small sitting room and practically collapsed onto the couch.  “Zola must have had that information before they had grabbed the 107th in 43, he was trying to perfect it, and in turn of course many didn’t survive the experiment.  He must have gotten it right by the time Bucky was taken.”  Setting his cup on the small table beside the couch Steve could only run his hand through his hair.  “We had no damn clue what was going on, but we knew something was different.  Now of course looking back and after reading that, it all makes sense.  The main purpose is to have a cohesive fighting force, one in which not only the protectiveness but also in a way of knowing where one is at all times.  The ability and the need to care for the other, to make sure that they are protected.  We had always been that way with each other growing up.  Each of us looking out for the other, Bucky definitely did everything he could to put me first and protect me.  If two people were the perfect test subjects for this idea it would be the two of us.  We both loved each other before all of this, just couldn’t do anything about it then, all this did was make it more... Prominent.”

All Steve had been able to think about after he had read the file so many months ago, was what Dr. Erskine would think.  In reality not much had changed in their dynamic just that Steve was able to not only protect himself if need be but he was more able to protect Bucky too.  Then there is Natasha, who most likely also fit into their strange dynamic… What was he going to do about that?  What should he do?  What is it like to find out that you were born for the sole purpose of being used as a weapon and that the father you never knew was tortured as you were being brought into this world.  What would Bucky think, did he even know?  Then what about Bucky’s daughter?  Who was she and where was she?  “So you’re our Beta?”

Standing and moving over to the small bag she had left by the door.  “Possible,” she said with a small smile.  “I’m taking a shower, but when I get back we need to work on what we are going to do.  I plan to go and help Yasha as you go find his daughter.”

Steve could only nod, allowing her the retreat and break she evidently needed, that they both needed.  It was almost too much.  Steve picked up the file she had left and started to look through it.  Everything was in there, or what she had been able to find.  From Alpha/Omega, to the experimentation on trying to bond Bucky to their ‘subjects’, to Natasha herself, and finally Bucky’s daughter.  Steve started to remove what he knew would help Tony and Bruce in their search for Bucky’s daughter, anything on Natasha well they could wait until she was ready to tell them herself.

~~~***~~~***

Steve walked into Tony’s lab and gave them all a small smile.  “Natasha said she will take all the stuff for Bucky to the drop off point.  She’s going to try and convince him to let her help.’

“Good, looking at all of this he may need it.  If nothing else because we can’t find anything so far on any triggers or anything,” Tony replied purposely not wanting to mention about kill switches.  He had a guess from reading all the files and Steve and Bucky’s words at the end of the video call what was going on between the two.  He would have to do some more digging but at least he had some idea.  “What was this about her?”  Steve glanced over at Rhodey and raised his eyebrows, wondering if it was safe to talk.  Yes he was there during the call but it was different.  Tony smiled and shrugged.  “I’ve been filing him in.  We will need all the big guns down the road we can get.  He has signed his life away that what is said and done here stays here.  I promise.  Now, this girl?”

Steve sat down on one of the chairs across from Tony and shrugged.  “I don’t know much and I cannot make head or tails out of the file.  It’s file K-084-56845791 for Poots, Mary Sue 084.  From what I can figure it was very late 80’s early 90’s.”

“JARVIS, pull up that file and start cross-referencing that name with everything we can access and not access.”  Tony started to look at the information they had from the files Bucky had given them but stopped to look at Steve.  Pushing the file to the side, Tony walked around the table to stand next to Steve.  “So one thing I have been wondering.  This whole Alpha/Omega stuff in the notes.  Who is the Omega? Hmmm?  And how can you two have kids with someone else?  Was it before the war or…”

Steve only stared at Tony, not bothering to answer him.  “Is that going to help us find her? Didn’t think so.”

“Oh come on, it’s a simple question.” Tony began picking up one of the small screwdrivers off of the table to tap against his hand.  “Let’s see, there’s you...”

“Tony,” Bruce called out as he walked over to where Tony had the information up on one of the screens.  “Enough.”

“SIR, I HAVE FOUND A REFERENCE TO MS. POOTS IN AN OLD SHIELD FILE.  AND ONE RECENT ONE, SIGNED BY AGENT PHIL COULSON.” JARVIS stated.

“Coulson?  Really?  Now that is interesting,” Tony stated ignoring Steve and going over to the file JARVIS was pulling up.  “Well I’ll be damned.  Doesn’t anyone stay dead anymore?”

~~~***~~~***

Steve waited for Natasha in the garage, knowing she would be heading out to meet up with Bucky.  Steve wished he was going with her but he had his own job to do, he just had to make sure that everything would be set, that Bucky and Natasha would return to him safe and sound.  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them to take care of themselves, it was the unknown.  He still had no idea who Bucky was going after, all he knew was it was dangerous enough that Natasha had offered to go.  “You have everything,” he asked as she appeared through the elevator.

“Steve, don’t worry so much.  You find her, you protect her.  Let me do my job and protect him.”  Natasha placed her bags in the trunk of one of the cars and walked over so she could face Steve fully.  “I may not be the best person to be your guys’ Beta but I will do what I can.  God knows you two need someone to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.  I know these people, I can help him.  Have to clear off some of that red, and …”  Natasha leaned up against the car crossing her arms in front of her chest.  “I have been pretending for years, I knew they were a threat, I knew they would hunt me down, but I figured let them.  I didn’t think of who I had left behind.  When I left, I tried to leave all of that behind.  Yasha is doing now what I should have done before.  Eliminating the threat, to us… to others.  I need to make this right.”

Steve reached over and pulled her into a hug, placing a light kiss on top of her head.  “You are a good person, Natasha.  I am proud and honored to have you as my friend and Beta.  You take care of each other.  Come home when you’re done.”

Natasha pushed him away with a smile. “Don’t get all sappy on me, Rogers.  This is partly pure selfish reasons that I’m doing this.  I want to start over and in order to do that, I have to eliminate the past.”

“Not completely.  The past is what made us, but still.  Thank you, and come home safe.”

“I’ll keep you updated.”  Placing a soft kiss on his cheek, Natasha got into her car and closed the door.  

As the car pulled out of the garage, Steve gave a silent prayer that both of them would return unharmed.

~~~***~~~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, most of you have figured this out by now. Next part Steve finally meets with Skye. Is she really Bucky’s child?  
> Since the episode of AOS hasn't come out till Tuesday, I want to get that chapter done. It may totally be screwed up by Tuesday night since Skye is supposed to (maybe) run into her father....


	10. 2.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had hoped to have this up yesterday, but at least got this up before Tomorrow's AOS which was the plan anyway. Since I am sure this would totally change after that episode.

~~~***~~~***

** 2.2 **

Natasha made it to the drop off point waited.  She knew that Barnes would know she was there.  She wasn’t hiding, as she sat down next to the bag of supplies and opened her phone.  _‘Made it to drop point  Will let you know,’_  she sent to Steve.   There had been no question that Steve had wanted to come with her, to be with Bucky but both knew that now was not the time for that.  

“Can’t say I’m surprised you all didn’t listen,” came a voice from behind Natasha.  “A little amazed it is you.”

Natasha shrugged as she stood holding the bag in her left hand.  “It wasn’t easy, I almost was sure Steve would stow away.  But he knows he has something else to do.”

Bucky came out from behind a garbage bin and walked up to her.  “You can leave that there and head out.  This isn’t your fight and I don’t need your help.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.  This isn’t just your fight.  I have red in my ledger.  You aren’t the only one that Lukin and the Red Room messed with.  Shall we,” she said pointing down the alleyway.  “This discussion may be better somewhere a little less out in the open.”   Bucky could only stare at her and nodded down the alley for her to lead the way.  Natasha lifted the bag further up her shoulder and started to lead the way to her own safe house.  “Besides you will need help to fix that thing,” she nodded to his arm with a small smile. 

~~~***~~~***

Steve with Tony who had demanded to come along, and Pepper by his side walked through the gates of what looked like an old run down government facility.  “As old creepy government bases go, this one must be at the top of the list,” Tony stated as they walked through the tall grass and weeds toward a group of buildings.  This was the location JARVIS had determined the new SHIELD had set up shop, and Steve could only shake his head.  It reminded him of his training at Camp (need to add), it definitely gave him the same the same feeling.  “If JARVIS wasn’t so sure this was where they were at, I would have never thought.  But I guess considering they are all wanted criminals now it makes sense.”

Steve could only roll his eyes.  Tony hadn’t stopped talking since they had started this trip, asking questions, giving his ideas.  If Steve didn’t one like Tony and two needed him he would have punched him hours ago.  Steve could tell that he would most likely have to stand in line behind Pepper.  He still couldn’t understand how a nice woman like her could put up with Tony all the time.  They reached the buildings and Steve spotted a small security camera in one of the corners and waved.  “Shouldn’t be long,” he said as he leaned back against the wall facing the camera.

It wasn’t long before some men came out from around the building guns in hands.  “Sorry, but I think you all took a wrong turn.”

Tony shrugged and took a look around.  “Yeah, security isn’t what it used to be.  Guess when SHIELD went down they lost all their smarts, but then again not surprising.   Maybe something about not the right people on the job, or maybe Hydra had more to do with it all than we thought.”

“Is that so,” the man with the gun said with a small smile.  “We found you so maybe it isn’t as run down as you think it is.  Especially since I think we have you surrounded.”

Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.  “Yeah about that.”  Pressing a button all the automatic weapon systems aimed at them began to shut down around them.  “Child’s play.  Now as the saying goes... Take us to your leader.”

“Put the weapons down,” a woman stated as she came out from one of the doors.  “Hunter, now.”

Steve glanced over and shook his head.  “Agent May.”

“Captain, Stark.  What can we do for you gentlemen,” she asked crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Steve moved away from the wall and straight over to May.  “We know Coulson is alive, and we need to see him.  Now.”   Steve could tell she was about to come up with some excuse or some reason why they couldn’t see Coulson so Steve straightened to full height ad stepped closer to her.  “Look, it has been a rough year and I’m done playing games.  You know me, we’ve worked together before.  So either you let us come in and see Coulson or I bust down that door take out anyone who tries to stop me and I still see Coulson.  Either way I see him, it is up to you on how that happens.”

“Are you threatening me, Captain,” she asked not once backing down from him but instead taking her own step closer to him.

“It’s not a threat, trust me.”

The sound of clapping interrupted the stare-down between May and Steve and both turned to Tony and glared.  “I must admit this past year if nothing else has ruined the whole ‘poster boy for good manners image.  I think I like this Steve.”  Tony received a slap on the arm from Pepper and he could only shrug.  “Look, May is it... Really we don’t have time for this.  Take us to Coulson and we can get the information we need and be done with this.  You all can go back to ... Well whatever it is you are doing and we can go back to what we were doing.  Cause really, I  am not really geared right now for a fight, and Steve.... Well he really isn’t the type of person you want to make mad.”

May listened to something in her ear and shook her head.  “Fine, follow me.”  She lead them into the building reluctantly.  “I will say this, Coulson is my responsibility.  If you hurt him, I will not hesitate.”

“We’re only here to talk, get information.  If it was Fury, then I think there would be an issue,” Steve said with a small smile.   As they walked through the old building Steve noticed all the old SSR badges on the wall and he tried not to smile.   A part of him felt that it was fitting with everything that had gone on the past year.  From Hydra to SHIELD to everything.  

Before they could reach a flight of stairs, they spotted Coulson standing at the bottom, hands in pockets and a small, sad smile on his face.  “Steve, Tony, Pepper.  I can explain.”

Before he could say much of anything Pepper walked up to him and slapped him across the face.  “That is for letting us believe you were dead.”  Turning to Tony she gave him a kiss on the cheek and smile.  “Now I’m heading back to New York, let Happy know when you are ready.”  Glancing back at Phil  she gave him a small smile.  “Good to see you.”

As Pepper left Tony shook his head and laughed a little.  “Be happy she is just upset and not angry.  Extremis, we think we got it all but...I try not to test the theory.”

“I deserved that,” Phil agreed as his hand went to his cheek.  “Shall we?”  Phil lead them up the flight of stairs with May following close behind.  “I wanted to let all of you know, things have been a little, well as you can see Hydra did a number on us.”

“Let me guess, Fury.”  Steve leaned against one of the pillars and closed his eyes to reign in his anger.  Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly.  “We’re not here for that.  We’re looking for someone, and the last report we found had your signature.”

Coulson sat behind his desk and rested his elbows on top so he could lean forward a bit.  “Who?”

Tony reached into his briefcase and pulled out his tablet to set it in front of Coulson.  “Poots, Mary Sue.  The last report we have been able to dig up was signed by you last year, well now almost two years ago.  We need to find her.”

“I don’t know...”

“Don’t lie to me,” Steve said from his spot glaring at Coulson.  “This is important.  We need to find her, she’s in grave danger and I promised someone I would find her and protect her.  Now we need to know where she is.”

Coulson glanced over at May and turned his attention down to the files Tony had handed him.   “Hydra files?”

Steve nodded and placed his hands together in front of him.  “It’s about her father, or at least everything we can tell.  He wants to know the truth, if she is his daughter.  Whether or not she is, she is in danger.  We can settle this in a few minutes, find out for sure.  If she is his daughter then she is in even more danger than she is now.  Right now, Hydra wants her.  Why we don’t know, but those files were discovered at a Hydra base in Europe.”   Steve pulled out his phone and handed it over to Tony.  “I have a copy of his DNA, which I can hand over to you for this test only.  Once the test is complete, it will be removed from your system.  You get a sample of her DNA, we compare it.  Simple.”  

Coulson gave them both a small nod, “We’ll test what you have against what we do.  It will take a few hours.  If you want to wait around, maybe take a tour.”

Tony stood as he pulled out his phone.  “First, we share this with you, you share your sample with us.  Not that we don’t trust you but well... We don’t trust you.  Two tests are better than one.”

~~~***~~~***

“Captain, let me say it is an honor to finally meet you,” one of the agents stated as Tony and Steve made their way through the base.  “I have heard a lot about you.”

Steve reached out and shook the man’s hand.  “Thank you, Agent?”

“Triplett, sir.  You knew my grandfather, Gabe Jones, he served with you in the Commandos.”  Trip watched as Steve’s eyes got a bit brighter and his smile a little larger.  “I do wonder, how many of the stories he told were true.”

~~~***~~~***

Coulson looked down at the display in front of him to run his hand through his hair.  “I have to say, part of me is happy we finally have an answer.”

“But that leaves the question, who did she meet?  You don’t think that Captain Rogers is working with Raina,” May asked sitting on the corner of the desk looking over the information that Steve had given them.  “This is all information from Hydra, if this is correct...”

“More questions than answers,” Phil leaned back in his chair and tapped his desk with his fingers.  “First let’s bring Skye up here, before we do anything else.  I want to make sure we are making the right choice.” Phil continued to scan the files as May went to get Skye.   It was only about five minutes later when the two walked back in and Phil directed Skye to sit.  “We have some information that has come to our attention and I wanted to run it by you, see what you think before we dig anymore into it.”  He reached over and turned his monitor so she could see the DNA report.  “We received a DNA scan of someone who may be your father.  It’s a match.”

Skye leaned forward and looked at the readout, shaking her head.  “I met my father, remember?  Big mess, not fun.  How did we get his DNA?”

“We don’t believe it is his,” May responded.  “You know that Steve Rogers is here, he brought this sample.”

“Rogers?  Captain America?  What is he doing with my father’s DNA?  You don’t think...” Skye said shaking her head.  “He wouldn’t be working with him, my father is crazy, like real psycho.  Everything I have ever heard on the Captain that is not the type of person he would be working with.”

Phil leaned back in his chair and looked at the young woman who he had come to care about.  From what he had been able to read in the documents that Steve had brought them, this would not be easy for Skye but he knew that she had to know.  She had been searching for her parents all her life and this was her chance, good or bad.  Plus if someone was out there claiming to be her father and wasn’t, it could only lead to some very bad things for all of them in the end.  “We don’t believe he is, but I want you to know from the files he gave us, this won’t be easy for you.  It will answer a lot of your questions but ...The choice is yours.  We can bring the Captain up here and can get you answers.”

Skye glanced down at her wrist monitor and took a deep breath.  Her heart beat had increased but after a few deep breaths she was able to bring it back down.  “Let’s do this.”  When May left to grab Steve, Skye sat back in her chair and gave Coulson a small smile.  “I have been looking my whole life, wondering who they were, why they left me.  Then we found out all that stuff... And then this person comes up and says he is my father.  I just want to know, no matter what.”  Skye  thought back to everything she knew thus far, to what she had learned about how SHIELD had gotten a hold of her, the destroyed village, to the man who was claiming to be her father.  If he wasn’t her father what was his plan?  How could she have not known he was lying?  Hell, she wondered what was the truth and if she would ever find it out.  May came back in with Steve and Trip, for which Skye felt a  little relief knowing that she had more support.  “Captain Rogers, um, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Ma’am,” Steve smiled as he sat down on the corner of one of the tables.  He had hoped and prayed that he would find Bucky’s daughter, had planned what he would say but now that the time had come, he wasn’t sure where to begin.  Taking a deep breath, Steve decided he would just let her lead the conversation.  “I know you have a lot of questions, and I’ll answer whatever I can.”

“You know I have meet a man who said he was my father a few months ago,” Skye began pointing to the display still up on Coulson’s monitor.  “This isn’t his is it?”

“I can say with almost one hundred percent certainty you have not met him.”  Steve ran his hands through his hair, gathering as much courage as he could.  “I will say your father is the most caring, honest, bravest person I have ever known.  He has made mistakes, he is not perfect, and he has done some things he is trying to make up for.  But most of what he has done was against his will.”  Steve couldn’t sit still, going over everything in his mind.  “Your father... He was used by Hydra.  Tortured, experimented on, brainwashed, used as their personal weapon for a long time.  But he has broken free, he’s getting better.”  Steve stopped his pacing and looked straight at each of their faces.   He wanted them to know that no matter what else was going on, Bucky had no choice to do what he had done.  “We don’t have all the information, but what we do is yours.  Right now he is trying to get more information, trying to right what was done, to find everything he can on you and why they want you.”

Skye could only sit there, hands on her face, trying not to let the tears fall as she absorbed the information.  “Who is he?”

Steve went over to Skye and knelt down, taking a hold of her hands.  “Your father’s name is James Buchanan Barnes, my oldest and dearest friend.”  Steve stood once again and continued his pacing.  “I know, that can’t be possible but it is.”  Stopping to stand in front of all of them, Steve looked over at Tripp, “As you know, Bucky’s whole unit was captured in 43, Gabe was there.  There was a scientist, Arnim Zola, he took some of the men and experimented on them.  We believe now, that he was trying to replicate the same serum that was used on me.   Whatever Zola did to him then allowed him to survive the fall from the train.

“Hydra found him, and hidden in SHIELD as a ‘volunteer’ he was experimented on some more.”  Steve closed his eyes, his anger and guilt at what happened to Bucky he knew would forever be there but he knew at least Bucky was healing.  He would have to take comfort in that at least.  “He was used by Hydra as their weapon, their personal assassin.  They called him the Winter Soldier.”

“What,” May called out.  

“Bucky Barnes is the Winter Soldier,” Coulson said in disbelief leaning back in his chair.  

“Was, he has broken free of Hydra’s control.  He’s remembering, and working to take out Hydra as we speak.  Natasha is with him now.  That’s where the information came from.  Since DC he has been taking out Hydra bases in the US, Europe, Asia... He is trying to free whoever he can from Hydra’s experiments.  He has a list of some of the main players, right now Natasha and Bucky are going after one who did this.”

Skye had her face covered, trying to understand all the information, trying to come to grips with what she had just found out.  Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm her heart rate down, knowing without looking that it had skyrocketed.  “Bucky Barnes.... Is my father?”

Steve once again bent down to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.  “I know it is a lot to take in.  And if there had been any other way to tell you all of this.  I wish Bucky could have been here, meet you, but he can’t right now.  He is afraid for your safety.  Hydra wants him back and they will use any means available to get him back.  They want you, why we don’t know yet but we’re still searching.  When Bucky found out about you, he told me, asked me to find you.  To protect you from Hydra, and if you’ll let me I’d like to do that.  Maybe I can help you understand, tell you about him.”

Trip laid his own hand on Skye’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.  “So here is a question.  If Barnes is her dad, which looking at that,” he said pointing to the monitor with the DNA test results on it.  “Who the hell is the guy you met earlier this year?”

“Ward, we need to find out what he knows,” Coulson stated looking at Skye.  

Skye shook her head as she leaned back a little.  “I can’t deal with him right now.  I think... I just need a little bit.”

Steve nodded and gave her a small smile.  “Take the time you need, I’m not planning on going anywhere.  If you need me, have any questions, hopefully between the files and what I know we can answer them.  I’m sorry.”

Skye reached out and grabbed a hold of Steve’s hand.  “No, it’s ok.  I guess knowing for sure who my father is, and that he is a war hero... I just need a little bit.”  Skye stood and without another word quickly made her way down to her quarters.  She needed time.  She had within her grasp all the information she had been craving her whole life, but at what cost?

~~~***~~~***

“So the Winter Soldier is actually Sergeant Barnes,” Coulson asked once Skye had left.  

Steve moved and sat in the now vacant chair and leaned his head back.  “He had been brainwashed, or memory wipe.  Between missions they kept him in Cryogenic suspension, brought him out only for missions, high value targets.  I discovered it was Bucky in DC.  We fought, he saved me.  He’s been on the run since.”

“But he got this information to you how,” May asked arms still crossed around her chest.  She still was unsure of the information, if it was a trap or if it was real.  

“I met up with Bucky a while ago, he gave me the information told me to look for her.  When he gets more information he finds a way to get it to me.”  Taking out his phone, Steve held it up for them to see.  “He gives me updates every other day at least.  If he is able.”  Steve looked over at May and dared her to say anything.  “I know how it looks, that Bucky was Hydra who’s to say he still isn’t, but I can tell you, he isn’t.  I know Bucky, and I know what they did to him.  I know he has a list of high level Hydra agents he is going after.  Agents, scientists, whatever who have been experimenting on, who have worked with Hydra, the Red Room, Department X...  I cannot even count the number of lives he has saved from them in the past year.   I am trusting you with this information, that you won’t try and hurt Bucky.  I will tell you this, if you even try anything you will have to contend with me.”

“And that is not a threat,” May asked small smile on her face.

“No Ma’am.  I don’t trust SHIELD.  We have found documents signed by SHIELD approving every thing that was done to him over the years.  SHIELD may not have known it was Bucky, but SHIELD is just as responsible for what happened to him as Hydra is.  So trust me when I say, if anyone tries to control him again, tries to hurt him again, I will destroy them.”  Steve stood and nodded to Coulson and Trip as he headed for the door.  “I will stay, until Skye chooses so.  I made a promise to him and I will be here to make sure she is safe.”

~~~***~~~***


	11. 2.3

~~~***~~~***

2.3

“You know growing up I heard a lot of stories, crazy tales of heroism, insane tales of ... Well everything.  Gramps told me how you and Barnes saved his life many times over.  He never fully got over either of your deaths.  He, in a way, blamed himself,” Trip sat down next to Steve at one of the small dinning room tables and handed over a beer.  “We told him that there was nothing he could have done.  That what happened with Barnes was a mission, that if anything could have been done, you would have done it.  He still felt like he should have done something, said he should have reached the engine room faster, maybe stopped Zola sooner.”

Steve accepted the beer from Trip and took a sip.  “I see that moment almost every time I close my eyes for the past few years.  Now however, since seeing the videos, seeing the damn equipment that they had used on him, it’s worse.  I know he doesn’t blame me, frankly would beat my ass if he heard me talking about it, but I think it will always be there.”  Steve started to peel the label off of the beer, deep in thought.  “Even if Gabe had gotten to the engine room sooner, I don’t think it would have made a difference.  We were in a fire fight with Hydra almost as soon as we entered the train.  As much as I would like to think that things would have been different if only... I don’t think it would.”  

“There is a part of me that wants to tell pops he’s alive.  He knows you are, saw you on the news and such.  He said one day he would get up the courage to come and see you.  If he knew that Barnes was a live too...”  Trip too a deep sip from his beer and stared at it.  “I think he would start to ask questions, questions I don’t think his heart could take.  Just what you told us, man I can’t even imagine what it was like.”

Steve reached over and placed his hand on Trip’s shoulder.  “I swear to you, one day soon Bucky and I will stop by and see him.  There’s so many people I want Bucky to see, so much of his life he missed out on and I think he deserves some of it back.”

Trip nodded, grateful that Steve was willing to see his Grandpa, willing to see Gabe again.  He wasn’t sure how long he had left, and if he would make it to when they could see him again.  But Trip would let his grandpop know Bucky was alive and let him know of Steve’s promise.  He was sure if nothing else that would cheer him up.  “So Skye...”

“Skye.”  Steve looked across the mess hall and let out a deep breath.  “That wasn’t exactly the way I had planned it all in my head when I came here.  I don’t like that she is hurt.”

“I’m fine, you know.  Tougher than I look,” Skye said as she sat down across from Steve and Trip.  “You got any more of those?”

“For you beautiful, of course.  Be right back,” Trip said tipping his own drink in salute.  

“You know...” “Look I’m...” they both said at once laughing a little.  Skye held out her hand for him to continue and Steve shook his head.  “My mother always taught me that Ladies go first.  Last thing I think any of us need is someone else to come back from the dead, especially just to slap me upside the head.”

“Yeah it sure seems like a reoccurring theme around here isn’t it?  People coming back from the dead.”  Skye looked down at the table, still gathering her thoughts.  It was strange to begin with knowing she was there talking with Steve Rogers, but with everything else on top of it all, Skye felt like she was walking through a fog-filled maze.  ‘You know, I remember going to one of the training facilities, well before SHIELD went poof.  They had a Wall of Remembrance.  At the time of course I thought maybe my parents were SHIELD and I could find their names on there and just know.  I found Barnes’, was just surprised to see it on there I guess.  He is a hero to many here, one of the first.  I mean sure others had died fighting Hydra, who had died before he did, but I don’t know.  Now I guess... I went looking to see if I could find my parents name and I didn’t even know I had.  At least one of them.”  Trip returned and handed her a beer and Skye thanked him if for nothing else it gave her something to do with her hands.  “Does he know?  About me, I mean.”

“He knows about you, well that he has a daughter.  Haven’t had a chance to tell him yet I found you.”  Steve reached into his pocket and held up his phone for her to see.  “He should be checking in with me sometime today, if nothing major is going on.  Natasha met up with him and delivered a new phone and some supplies.”  Steve set his phone down and resisted the urge to reach across the table to rest his hand on hers.   He still couldn’t believe it, Bucky had a child, a smart, beautiful young lady who Steve was sure could handle herself in a fight.  “But I saw him a few weeks ago, he told me about you, about a few things.”

“My mother?”

“Some.  Skye, I will tell you this, I don’t now all the details, but I know enough.  I don’t know if your mother was married, she may have been.  Bucky is still trying to get any information he can find on it all to help you.  But he didn’t know, they didn’t want him to know.”  Steve tried to explain.  He wasn’t sure how he could explain to her the circumstances of her conception.  How do you tell someone that the memories of your father was that he had rapped your mother?  That neither one had a choice in it.  Steve wanted solid proof before he even thought about telling her.  Bucky felt guilt over it, and Steve hoped beyond hope that maybe it had warped his memory of it, or Hydra had if for no other reason than for Bucky’s sake.  Bucky didn’t deserve any more pain, neither did Skye, not if Steve could help it.  His phone buzzed and he glanced down with a small smile.  “Speak of the devil now.”

_ Barnes : We’re safe.  Natalia arrived, arm fixed.   _

_ Steve : Glad. You doing ok? _

_ Barnes : Doing ok.  Natalia making sure i behave _

_ Steve : Who will keep her behaved.  :)  Bucky, want u 2 know I found her.  _ Steve waited, for the response as he looked up at Skye.  Standing Steve moved to sit beside her so she could read the texts as well, “It’s not much but...”

_ Bucky : She safe? _

_ Steve : Yeah she safe., her name is Skye.   _ Steve looked over at Skye and began to type, wanting to see her response.  When she saw it she nodded a small sad smile on her face.  _You can talk to her if u want._

_ Bucky : I want to, but don’t have long.  Heading out soon have a few days travel before mission. _

_ Steve : K just a quick hello ok? <3 U   _

Steve looks at Skye and nods toward the door.  “Wanna go for a walk?”  Skye nods and the two stand, walking toward the outside door for some privacy.  Steve knew that this would not be an easy call for either Bucky or Skye.

~~~***~~~***

Bucky glanced over at Natalia as she slept on the bed in their little hide-out with a small smile.  At least one of them could sleep, since Bucky knew he could rarely sleep, a couple hours a month is all he had been able to get and he wondered if that was just another thing Hydra had taken from him.  Shaking his head, Bucky glanced down at his phone almost dreading the call he was about to make.  It was easy to text Steve, talking on the phone wasn’t as the last time he had talked to Steve came to mind.  He wanted to be ‘right’, he wanted to be ‘normal’ and Bucky knew that he was far from either of those.  He knew Steve worried, especially after Steve helped work him through the last of the trigger.  Bucky hated it, he didn’t want Steve to worry.  He wanted him to be happy.  

His daughter... Still that thought brought mixed feelings for him.  On one hand he was happy, he had a child.  But then the guilt for how she came to be and the sadness that he had not been able to be there to help her through the years.  He worried about Hydra, about what they wanted with her.  He could guess for sure after finding out more information about her mother.  She was special, far more than any ‘super’ genes that she got from him.  

Bucky walked out of their hide-out and into the deep forest miles outside the small city limits.  He sat down on the ground next leaning against a large tree.  He had to calm himself before he called, he wanted to be at least partly sane for this conversation, one he had no clue how to even start.  What the hell do you say to a kid you never knew you had, and whom you rapped her mother to create?  He picked up his phone and dialed before he lost what nerve he had.  _Fuck I am such a coward, toughen up Barnes_.  

“Bucky,” Steve said when he picked up the phone and Bucky could practically hear the smile over the phone.  

Bucky leaned back to rest his head against the tree and closed his eyes.  “Hey, you sound happy.”

“You sound tired, everything ok?”

“Yeah,everything is good. Just...how is she,” Bucky asked not wanting to admit even to Steve he was nervous as fuck.  

“You’d be proud, Buck.” Steve told him, easing some of his fear  

Bucky took a deep breath and let it out.  “Good, good.  I can’t talk long, Natalia and I are heading out soon.  I think we have a solid lead, may be a few days before I can contact you again.  But I’ll try and drop a quick note before we head out.  She there now?”

“Hey, um... Yeah,” the young woman on the line sounded almost as nervous as Bucky did and he had to smile a little at that.  

“Hey, look... Shit, I will be honest here, I have no clue what to say,” Bucky ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes.  “You’re ok, right?  You’re safe?”

“Yeah, yeah these guys have taken good care of me, and I can take care of myself pretty well.  Learned how to shoot and fight.  Hydra has nothing on me,” she said with a small laugh.

Bucky smiled and a little more fear eased some, not much but at least a little.  “Good, good. There is a lot I want to say, a lot I want to tell you about, but not yet.  I’m still looking for more information, still trying to find out what I can.  But I want you to watch your back, ok?  Steve will be there with you if you ever need him.  I trust him.  Hydra wants you, and I can’t let them get you.  I won’t let them get you, ok?  I need you to just watch your back.  When I can I will be there and we can sit and talk, get to know one another.”

“I promise.  I have a good group here who helps, makes sure i don’t get into too much trouble.  I can help, I’m good with computers.”

Bucky nodded and smiled.  “Good, I’ll see if I can get you a line to my system here, that way you can get the information I was able to grab.  Will be easier than trying to send it to you guys.  I’ll send Steve the information on where you need to hack.”  Bucky started to go through his mind all the information he had to get to Steve so his daughter could see it all, wouldn’t take too much time to set up before him and Natalia left.  “I will tell you, it won’t be easy to read, and I’m sorry.  If you don’t feel up to it, wait until I can be there.  I promise I will be there as soon as I can.”

“You’re going after them, aren’t you?”

“The one who did this, yes.  The one who hurt your mom.  The others will come in time, but he is first.  Once he is out of the picture, I will come to you.  I promise.”  Bucky glanced up and spotted Natalia at the door and nodded to her.  “I have to go.  Give Steve hell for me, I’m sure he’ll be his annoying self.  Don’t let him push you around.”

Skye laughed and Bucky wondered if she had the same evil glint in her eyes that he always got.  “Trust me, won’t be a problem.  Besides what better way to know all the fun childhood stories about you than from him, right?”

“Shit,” Bucky cursed, he had forgotten that part.  “You may know more about me than I do by the end of it all.”  Bucky stood and headed in the hutch to grab his things.  “Ok I am going to set up my system to allow you access.  Steve will know the password and I’ll text him the rest of information you will need.  Take care, ok?  Both of you.”

“You too.”

Bucky fixed the computer for Skye to access, sent a quick text to Steve and began to close the place up.  He grabbed his duffle bag from the ground and met Natalia outside.  “We ready?”

“Oh for Lukin, you better believe I am.  You let Steve know,” she asked nodding to his phone.  Seeing Bucky’s nod, she made her way over to the truck they had stolen, throwing all her stuff in the back.  “If we leave now, about a day to get to the border.  From there another day on foot.  Figure by Friday we should be right at Lukin’s doorstep.”

“Crimea won’t be the easiest place to sneak into, but think shouldn’t be too hard.  As long as they haven’t closed off the few areas I know about.”  Bucky threw his own bag into the back of the truck and they were off.  “Once we are there, I need you to worry about the hostages first.  Take out anyone you can, but make sure they get out.  Lukin will be heavily guarded, and I’m sure Hydra know what we are planning and is sending in reinforcements.”

“You know you won’t be able to send Steve any message as soon as we cross the border,” she explained as she began to quickly type her own texts out letting certain people know.  

Bucky nodded as he watched the path before him.  “Yeah, will send him a quick one before we cross.  Already told him we would be out of coms for a while.”  Glancing over Bucky saw a small smile on her face as she looked at her own phone.  “And whom might you be texting?”

“Clint, Banner, Sam.  Clint thinks he may have some leads in Africa, most haven’t panned out yet, but in this business half of he leads always end up dead.  He’s not giving up,” she quickly typed something out and set her phone to the side.  “But if he can get a lead on von Strucker, I’m ok with that.  Just hope when he does he doesn't try to go after them himself.”

Bucky had a flash of a man on a rooftop and an arrow moving toward Natalia.  “He’s the archer isn’t he?”

“Yeah.  He was sent by SHIELD to take me out, he made a different choice when it came down to it.  Once I got from of the Red Room, I ran into him again and well... The rest they say is history.”  The two traveled as far as they could go in the stolen truck until they were about forty miles from the border.  Loading their bags up, the two started to hike through tall grass and sticking as far off the main roads and entryways as they could.  They avoided all houses and store fronts, making sure that the Russian and Crimea armies were far in the distance.  The two knew that they would have to most likely have to cross one of the lakes to get into the country, but it was safer than trying to get through on foot.  With the recent tensions and the annexation of Crimea trying to pass on land would be tricky.  

It was getting dark by the time they stopped five miles from one of the bordering lakes to grab a quick bite to eat and get their gear into waterproof bags.  Bucky pulled out his phone and closed his eyes briefly.  _‘Wont be able to contact for a few days.  Take care of each other and don’t do anything stupid.’_

Bucky waited for the reply as he continued to load his guns into his bag.  He knew they would have to steal more before the final hit on Lukin’s base, but they had enough to at least get them through the area in case they ran into trouble.  _‘Stay safe both of you.  Love you.’_   Bucky glanced at his phone when the text arrived and turned it off.  Only if they ran into trouble would he turn it back on.  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust what he was told that the phone could not be tracked by anyone but Stark and his computer, Bucky didn’t want to take any chance.  This mission was too important and they already would be going against the odds, the last thing they needed was anything else unknown to come into play.  “Ready,” Bucky asked lifting his bag onto his back, his small breather in his hand.  Natasha nodded and the two began the long journey deep into enemy territory.

~~~***~~~***

Steve made his way up to Coulson’s office hoping he could get some more information on this doctor who claimed to be Skye’s father.  The reports he had read had mentioned many doctors who had worked on the ‘experiment’ of creating a child between Bucky and Skye’s mother and he wondered if this man was one of them, or what his connection to them really was.  Skye had told Steve all about Grant Ward and what he had told her about the man claiming to be her father, and Steve knew he would have to start there.  He wanted to know everything this Ward knew, or thought he knew.  But in order to do that, he would need permission from Coulson.  When he asked however, it was not at all what he had expected.  “I wish you could, Captain, but that is not possible right now.”

“Why not?  If it would make you feel better, Agent May or someone can come with me.  I am only looking for information,” Steve explained.  He could understand the reluctance, but Steve knew if he wanted answers he would have to talk to Ward.

Coulson moved around his desk and sat on the edge, arms resting in front of him.  “It is not that I do not trust you, it is a little more complicated than that.  Before you arrived, it was decided that we needed to get some more information on this doctor, and what his connection to Hydra is.  We know he is now working for Hydra, gave them something we have been trying to retrieve ourselves.  Now, we knew that in order to get close to him we had to find him and there was only one person besides Skye how could.”

“Ward.”  Steve shook his head, not believing his luck.  “So you let him go free, in hopes that he would find this man.  You can’t possibly trust him to do that.”

“Trust him, no.  We have a tracker on him, plus we have our own people inside Hydra.  Ward has a weakness and that weakness is Skye,” Coulson went on to say.  He knew that Ward had feelings for Skye, and he believed he could help prove himself to her if he helped her find her parents.  Coulson knew they could exploit that to get to Hydra and this doctor, and if it helped Skye out in the end that was even better.  He knew he would have to explain himself to Skye and she would be upset, but Coulson did not regret his decision.  He thought of Skye as a daughter himself and he would do anything to protect her, to help her.  

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “Where is he now?”  Steve didn’t like the idea of letting this ex-Hydra agent being let loose, but he could only hope that Coulson’s gambit pays out.  He wanted, needed the information that this doctor had.  For Bucky and for Skye. Answers to questions that only the doctor could give.

“His plane landed in Russia an hour ago.”

~~~***~~~***

Bucky and Natasha walked through a small village about thirty miles from the location they knew Lukin was at, stopping for some food and final supplies before completing their trek.  If all worked well, the two would arrive outside the base by early morning to begin their perimeter watch.  Bucky knew that Natasha would need to rest and get some sleep before they made their final move, so he was hoping they arrived early enough so she could get some rest before sunrise.  

Bucky could tell they were being watched, but he doubted they knew who they were watching.  Most likely it was just that they were strangers to these parts, their disguises were perfect.  It was difficult for Bucky since Natalia had arrived, memories of the two of them were surfacing.  He remembered their missions, their nights together.  She had been the only one besides Steve who could make him feel almost whole and Bucky wasn’t sure it was entirely a good thing.  He loved Steve but he could lose himself in Natalia if he wasn’t careful.  “We’re being watched,” Natasha whispered in his ear as she reached for some food off his plate.  

Bucky reached over to her hand and lightly drew a symbol on it, causing her eyes to raise  <Two across street, blue jackets,> he wrote.  

“You remember,” she said with a smile.  _“Come on,”_ she reached for his hand and lead him out of the small cafe toward one of the small hostels in town.  Both noticed that the ones watching them in the Cafe had taken to follow them, so Natasha pulled him into one of the small alleys and pushed him up against the wall.  Bucky retaliated by lifting her up and flipping them around so her back was against the wall, lips on her neck, as her leg lifts up to wrap around his hip.  Flashes of late nights, of similar situations flashed in Bucky’s mind.  Two bodies joined together, creamy, soft skin, lips, sweat and moans of pleasure.  

After what seemed like forever Bucky finally felt the two men following them leave and he leaned his forehead against her shoulder.  “You’re dangerous, this is dangerous.”  Bucky moved back from Natasha and ran his hand through his hair.  “I love Steve.”

Natasha placed her hand on his neck as she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  “When we get done with all of this, I’ll explain it to you.  There is a reason why, trust me.  You and Steve belong to each other and I will not get in the way of that.  Just know, I will do what I can to make sure you get home to him.”

Bucky nodded as he grabbed her hand.  They had to get out of the city and complete this mission.  The sooner this was done the sooner he could get back to Steve and hopefully make some sense of what is going on.

~~~***~~~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my verse, Emma and Bobby are still working with Hydra.


	12. 2.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hunt for Lukin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: The next part(s) will have a lot of blood, fighting, and death Some of it may not be easy for some readers, so just wanted to let you all know.

~~~***~~~***

** 2.4 **

When the two arrived, they took refuge in one of the large trees outside the gate surrounding the large compound.  Natasha told Bucky to wake her in three hours, and he agreed pulling out his glasses to keep watch.  They had arrived shortly before sunrise after a long swim and hike all the following day.  Bucky was grateful that the long swim had washed away the traces of temporary dye he had in his hair, leaving him once again with his dark locks.  He wanted the ones inside that compound that there was no doubt who it was that was attacking them.  He wanted them to know he had returned to put an end to their experiments and torture.  He wanted Lukin to look into his eyes, for Lukin to  know that Bucky had won, that he now  had control of his life.  That Lukin, Hydra, Red Room did NOT win.  

Bucky made note of everyone that came and went from the compound, keeping track of numbers  and locations.  He counted how many guards were around the fence, the sensors and cameras lining the walls and surrounding area.  They would have to find a way to cut power to those, and Bucky tried to remember where the security room inside was so that could be the first hit.  They would have a very small window to catch everyone inside by surprise, but if they could lengthen that by even a minute or two it would increase their chances of success just a little more.  Yes, he knew things would go a lot better if there were more of them, if he had just let Steve and his little band of heroes know and help, but there was also the knowledge that a larger group would have also made things much more difficult.  Natasha and himself had done jobs like this before, knew how to hide and how to attack without being seen or heard.  They may not get everyone -- hell they may not even survive this mission, but Bucky knew if they had a good enough plan they could get what they needed and get out in one piece.  

Reaching over, Bucky lightly ran his finger across Natasha’s hand in a small circle letting her know that it was three hours.  Once she was up and awake, Bucky handed her the scope from his rifle directing her to the major areas.  They passed information and ideas around with code, never talking, and Bucky was amazed he remembered their shorthand.  Natasha would head in first, knocking out the security system and communications leaving Bucky to enter ten minutes later.  The rest would be fairly simple - take out as many as they could and meet up in the main lab where they believed Lukin would be waiting them.  They knew it wouldn’t take long before the whole building knew they were there, but they had two goals in mind and nothing would get in the way of that goal.  Get Lukin and all his files so no one could copy his work, and free the hostages.  “Боже мой,” Natasha quietly breathed out as both watched a small bus pull up to the main gate and hostages started to file out under heavy guard.  “Major problem,” she continued.  Bucky glanced over her with a raised eyebrow.  They had known that there would be hostages there, more shouldn’t make too much of a difference, but he knew she had seen something different about this group.  “George Talbot, General Talbot’s son.”  Bucky remembered seeing the General on the news back in the States, his claim that he had brought the remains of both SHIELD and Hydra to their knees.  Not the smartest thing a person could do, and Bucky knew that capturing his son was a power play.  He wondered what they wanted the General to do for them.  

Bucky nodded, running his hand through his hair.  “Change in plans.  We move tonight, after you take out the coms and security, find the hostages.  Get them out as quickly as you can, then we’ll meet up when we can whether inside or out.  First priority is the hostages.”  They both knew it wasn’t the best plan, leaving one alone inside without backup but Bucky was right, the hostages had to be freed and fast.  Both knew that they would have to have help getting the hostages out of the country, Bucky didn’t think a long hike ala’Steve would work for any of them.  Taking a deep breath, Bucky pulled out his phone quickly turning it on so he can set the timer on it.  “Ok, you contact them when you need to, most likely before we head in.  Let them know I have my phone set to turn on three hours after we enter.  If mine turns on then they know we ran into trouble.”

Natasha grabbed his phone and set the time.  “Four hours after we enter,” she said after setting the time and turning it back off.  “Gives us time to do what we have to do before the calvary arrives.”

Bucky nodded taking the phone back and gave her a small smile.  “No matter what happens, you make it out of there.  Get the hostages out and get back to Steve.  I need you to watch out for him, god knows he can’t take care of himself.”

Natasha reached over and gave him a kiss on the lips.   “Either we both make it out or neither one of us makes it.  Simple as that.  We get Lukin and the hostages and we both go back to Steve.  Got it?”  She could only smile as she watched Bucky pinch his eyes with his fingers, he was realizing again that it is not easy to go against what she says.  When Natasha said something, that means that she will do whatever she can to make sure it happens.  She was determined, Bucky would be back with Steve.  Lukin was not going to try and take this away from him again.  “Good, now let’s go back over the plan then I’ll make that call.  We head out around midnight.  Just think by tomorrow night, we can have a glass of vodka in New York with Steve.”

~~~***~~~***

“We have a situation everyone.  Pack up we head out in ten,” May stated as she came down from Coulson’s office around three-thirty in the afternoon.  

“What’s up,” Mac stated as he stood from around the table he was sitting with Hunter, Trip, Skye and Steve.  

“We’ll explain once we are all in the air.”  Turning to Steve and Tony she nodded.  “You two may want to come along.  If you’re not busy.”

Tony glanced over at Steve and shrugged.  “I have been wanting to test out the new suit.  Shall we?”  

They were in the air about thirty minutes when Coulson walked into the room and pulled up a map.  Turning to Tony Coulson gave him a small smile.  “You are friends with General Talbot correct?”

“Not exactly friends, but he does like me better than you right now,” Tony said with a smile in return.  “Why?”

“We just received word from one of our agents inside Hydra that they have George Talbot.”  Everyone began to talk at once, but Coulson raised his hand to stop them before things got out of hand.  “We are on the way to the location now, the plan is to rescue any and all hostages in the compound.  If we can keep our agents cover in tact then we will.”

Steve glanced down at his phone as it went off, and closed his eyes.  “We may have a problem with that,” he said as he held it up for all to see.

_ Natasha: _

_ We found Lukin in Crimea.  We are heading in shortly. _

_ Hydra has George Talbot. Will need pick up for hostages. _

_ If B phone turns on 4 hrs means trouble. _

~~~***~~~***

Natasha quickly dug a hole and placed her phone inside before hoping the fence inside the compound.  Avoiding the guards, she quickly scaled the wall and up the wall.  She found the vent that would lead her to the room right next to the security room.  It didn’t take her long once she landed to quickly sneak into the next room and take both guards out by snapping their necks.  “Ok, now let’s see if Stark’s little program works,” she quietly said to herself as she slipped in the small USB into the computer.  Tony had told her it was supposed to take video footage already on the system and place them in a loop.  The communications would be re-routed to JARVIS for monitoring and would cut any alarms.  Glancing at her watch, Natasha gave a small smile.  “Four minutes down, six to find the hostages and get back to find Lukin.”  

Running the floor plans in her mind both from when she had been there many years prior and what they had been able to find elsewhere, Natasha headed toward the stars on the south side of the building.  If she remembered correctly there were labs and cells down on the second lower level, which most likely where they would put all the newest arrivals.  Natasha slowly opened the door noting the number of guards down the long hallway.  Quick on her feet, Natasha started down the hallway, using her small explosives to eliminate three guards.  Jumping over another, she quickly pulled a long cord out of her bracelet and leaned back slicing the man across the neck killing him instantly.  _Four down, unknown to go._    Natasha didn’t want to waste any time, moving down the hall, killing anyone that was in her way.  She could hear people calling out for help behind some of the doors but until the hallway was clear they would have to wait.  

“Ms. Romanova, it has been a long time,” she heard a voice behind her.  “Doctor Lukin will be pleased.  He said you would return one day.”  Natasha turned and saw an older gentleman dressed in a pristine white lab coat.  

“I’ll make sure I stop in and say hi,” she said with a smile pulling her glock out of her side holster.  “You can see if he is pleased when you see him in hell.”

“Пришла́ беда́, отворя́й ворота́,”  the man stated and Natasha’s finger froze on the trigger.  “Ah, I see, you thought all of the triggers were gone?  That you beat us completely?  You did not realize that Lukin thought ahead, you should have known better.”  Natasha began to clear her mind and fight against the instincts telling her to lower her weapon.  She would beat this, she couldn’t let them win.  Slowly she could feel the fog that had taken over her mind clear when everything went dark.  “You idiot, we almost had her,” the doctor yelled at the man behind Natasha with a gun in his hand.  

“I don’t know, she looked like she was coming out of it to me, but then what do I know?  We have her, isn’t that the important part,” the man said as he put the gun into his belt at his back.  

“You are a guest here, do not assume.  Others may trust you, but I do not.  I will be watching you.  Now take her to the cell, I will let the doctor know.”

The man bent down and picked Natasha up, throwing her over his shoulder.  “Whatever you say.”  After depositing her in a cell, the man stood outside the door shaking his head.  He knew they were alone in the hallway, and would be until more guards made their way down to cover the ones she had killed.  “Coulson didn’t tell me you would be here.  I don’t blame him for not trusting me, but now I have to change my plans.  Who else did you bring with you, Black Widow,” Grant Ward looked down at the woman he had placed on the bed.  He would wait until she woke, knowing that by knocking her out he had stopped whatever plan the ‘Doctor’ had for her.  Hopefully they would take that into account.  Grant could only wonder if Coulson was on his way, if so he had a lot of work to do.  Now if only Widow would wake up.

~~~***~~~***

Bucky finished counting down and made his way over the fence, taking out the two guards on the other side.  He grabbed the knife he had thrown that had been buried in the neck of one, to shove back into his boot.  Moving toward the building, he kept watch for any further guards, he knew that he would have about another fifteen minutes before the two would be found.  Climbing the wall toward the second level, Bucky opened one of the window and slipped inside.  Opening the door enough to check down the hall, Bucky slide out moving silently and swiftly down the hallway.  He knew that there was at least one lab on this level along with some holding rooms.  Briefly he got a glimpse of the main lab on the level above, the one he had spent a lot of time in during his time in this compound.  Shaking his head Bucky cleared his head, now was not the time for memory flashes.  

Silently, Bucky made his way room to room killing everyone without blinking.  These people were the enemy, they were evil personified.  Reaching the small lab, Bucky pulled his guns out, kicking the door open.  The first thing Bucky saw was a young boy being strapped into one of the chairs that lined the back wall, and he felt his blood turn to ice.  “Close your eyes,” he called out to the boy as he immediately pulled the trigger, shooting the technician by the bed between the eyes.  “Keep them closed.”  Bucky quickly reached for a knife and jumped over a table to slam his knife directly into another man’s eye burying it to the hilt.  Spotting one agent rushing toward him, Bucky drew his arm back and drove it straight into the man’s chest - his metal arm breaking the man’s sternum sending bone directly into the man’s heart.  It was over in less than a minute, eleven agents and lab technicians all dead on the floor.   Bucky went over grateful that the young boy still had his eyes closed.  The last thing he wanted was this kid to have seen him, seen the blood and death.  No child deserved that.  “Ok I’m going to get you out of this, but I need you to keep your eyes closed until I say so ok?  I won’t hurt you, we’re going to get you out of this and back to your family.  I swear.”  Bucky reached for the restraints and ripped them off, flashes of Steve doing the same thing to him flashed before him.  Taking a deep breath, he lifted the boy into his arms and made sure his head was buried into his neck.  “Keep em closed, we’re gonna get you safe.”

Bucky headed back the way he had come in, knowing he had seen a small utility closet down the hall.  It wasn’t much but it should keep the boy hidden.   Opening the door, Bucky walked in and set the boy down.  “Ok, you’re safe for right now.  You’re George right?   You can open your eyes now.”  The boy nodded and slowly opened his eyes to look around the small room.  “I want you to stay in here, block the door somehow when I leave.  I have to check on the others who came here with you.”  Reaching into one of his pockets, he pulled out a gun and his phone.  “Do you know how to use this,” Bucky held out the small 22 pistol, and noted the boy nod briefly.  “Ok, the safety is on, but if someone besides me or my friend Steve come, I want you to do what you have to do and protect yourself.  I’m sure your parents are worried about you and I want to get you back to them.”  George took the gun and set it down beside him.  “Steve, do you know him?  Captain America?”  When Bucky received the positive nod, he gave a small smile.  “This phone will get you in contact with him.  If you don’t hear from me in a hour, I want you to turn on the phone.  Steve is the first contact.  He will come and get you out of here.  Ok?”

“Yeah, thank you,” George said with a small smile.  “Who are you?  How did you find me?”

“We are trying to stop the man who took you,” Bucky shrugged.  “Ok, I have to go find my friend and the rest of the ones who came with you.  We’re going to get you all out of here.  Remember, don’t open the door for anyone but myself or Steve.  One hour, block the door, and try to stay as quiet as possible.  We’ll get you home.”

“Thank you,” George said as he watched Bucky close the door behind him.  Quickly the young boy went and found some items and moved them in front of the door.   Luckily he still had his watch and began to count down.  One hour.

~~~***~~~***

Making his way up to the third floor, Bucky kept his breathing regular as flashes of his time here as the Winter Soldier continued to play across his mind.  He kept his mind as clear as it could - taking aim and killing anyone that appeared in the hallway.  He had one goal in mind: the Lab.  Lukin’s Lab.  Once Bucky reached the door, he quickly opened it and killed three lab techs who had jumped up from their stations, leaving four others.  Bolting the door and sliding one of the heavy cabinets in front of it, Bucky turned his attention to the others in the room.  “i knew you would come home, Мой маленький солдат.” Lukin said with a smile.  “I know what is wrong with you, and we can fix you.  You are in pain, confused. mой питомец.  You know I can make you better.”

Bucky only smiled as he began to make his way over to Lukin.  Out of the corner of his eye he spotted one of the females pull out a gun, and he quickly shot her in the shoulder.  “I remember,” Bucky said as he continued on his path.  About then feet away however, Bucky felt a pain in his foot as six needles embedded themselves through his hard leather boot into his flesh.  “That won’t stop me,” he said with a smile reaching into his side pocket for one of his knives.  

For the first time in years, the pain did not stop after a few seconds.  With each step he took, pain began to radiate across his foot and Bucky knew that he had to act quick before he lost all function in his foot.  “Ah, I see it is working.  We had wondered what it would do with Super Soldiers.  We had hoped to use it on the Captain, but this is better, yes?  It is poison of sorts.  It kills all tissue, veins, will start to eat away at the bone until there is nothing left.  Within an hour you should start to feel it move up your leg.  I do not need to tell you what will happen when it reaches the rest of your body.”

Bucky glances down briefly and cursed himself for not paying attention.  “I will kill you before I die.”

“I can stop it, of course we will have to remove the infected part, but I know we can give you a better one.  Within a day you will be dead.  Знай, кошка, своё лукошко.”  Bucky didn’t wait for more.  He had a mission and he would complete it, and hope the others in the room knew of a way to stop the poison.  Reaching Lukin, Bucky drove his arm directly into the man’s chest through the sternum and wrapping around his heart, smashing and ripping the spine in half as he continued the motion.  Pulling his arm out of what is left of Lukin’s chest, he quickly placed both hands on either side of the man’s head before he fell and twisted.  

Throwing his head to the other side of the room, Bucky turned back to the other three in the room and slowly backed up toward the door.  “Unless you want to die, find the antidote,” he said to the other three as he collapsed onto the ground gun still trained on the group.  Clearing his mind once again, Bucky focused all his energy on stopping his body’s reaction to the trigger phrase and slowing down the poison.  He had to make it until Steve and the others arrived.  

~~~***~~~***

Steve was trying not to pace, worried for both Natasha and Bucky.  From everything Coulson and the others had said, Lukin was one of the top scientists with Zola, maybe even worse than Zola.  He wasn’t sure what to expect.  His phone went off and Steve immediately pulled it out.  It hadn’t been four hours yet, so he silently prayed for good news.  

_ Bucky :  The man said if I didn’t see him in an hour to contact you.  My name is George Talbot.  Are you Steve? _

_ Steve: Yeah. I’m Steve.  Are you ok?  _

_ Bucky (George) : I am in a closet, a lot of people around.  Are you coming to get us? _

_ Steve: Yes we are on our way we will be there soon.  I promise.  The man do you know where he is?  Did you see a woman with him? _

_ Bucky (George) : no.  He said an hour and I’m afraid. _

_ Steve : We will be there soon.  I promise.  Stay where you are.  We will get you and take you home. _

Steve set his phone down and ran his hands through his hair.   Things evidently took a serious turn for the worse and he knew they would be walking into a nightmare.  Handing his phone over to Skye so she could continue to try and keep George calm, Steve went over to fill Coulson and May in on the latest development.  ‘ _Please stay safe, both of you.  We’re coming.’_   Steve could only hope and pray they were not too late.

~~~***~~~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger ... Ducking. Had to. Natasha in a cell being guarded by Grant. Bucky poisoned. Ohoh.   
> But on a positive note, I have finally plotted this whole story out. Chapter wise no clue, but at least act wise there will be eight. Sigh. Thank goodness. That damn Age of Ultron trailer and the news from Marvel .... Yeah will be fun. :)


	13. 2.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AOS Crew, Steve and Tony finally arrive at the former Red Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit early. Posting tomorrow's chapter today. Hope you all enjoy.  
> Warnings in this chapter. There will be some massive “bucky torture’ of sorts in this chapter. Descriptions of gore and everything. Most of it is at the end, so you can skip the last part if that is not your thing. Steve and Bucky sadness and hurt here for sure.

.

~~~***~~~***

2.5

Natasha slowly came to, her head felt like it was going to explode as the pain in the back of her head began to ache.  She cursed silently to herself, she had thought all the triggers had been removed over her years with SHIELD, but it appears that Hydra had more influence on everything than even she wanted to admit.  She began to take note of her surroundings, she knew she was in a cell, but or how long she wasn’t sure.  What happened with Yasha?  “Are you awake yet?  I am sure you have somewhere to be, people to rescue and frankly we are running out of time,” came a voice from the hallway.  

Natasha sat up, ignoring the pain to turn to the voice.  “Grant Ward, Hydra’s little puppet.”

Grant gave a small smile and shrugged.  “It was more following Garrett, I never betrayed SHIELD to Hydra, but whatever makes you feel better at night I guess.”

“And Garrett was Hydra so I guess that explains it all doesn’t it?  What is your game now,” she asked as she began to walk toward the cell door.  “You know I’m not alone, you will fail.”

“I am only here for Skye, not Hydra nor SHIELD.  I promised her I would bring her father to her, and it is a promise I intend to keep,” Grant stated as he continued to lean against the wall.  Pulling out a small keychain, he held it out to her.  “Now we can play this my way, or you can stay in here until the others arrive.”

Natasha stepped forward in the cell until she was right at the bars.  “You think I can’t get out of this?”

“Oh I know you can, but it will take a while.”  Grant gave her a small smile then sighed.  “Look, I am only here to bring Skye’s father to her.  So here is how we will play this.  I will let you out, you do whatever it is you need to do.  The Doctor and I walk out of here free and clear.”

Natasha shrugs and raises her hands to her sides.  “You let me out, we get the hostages to safety.  I cannot guarantee anything about the Doctor.  I’m here for Lukin, plain and simple.”

Grant nodded and opened the cage door, handing her the keys so she could free the others.  For now he would play it her way, since he was almost positive the Doctor and Lukin were both in the lab.  He had to make sure nothing happened to him, that the Doctor stayed safe, and the only way he could ensure that was to stick close to Natasha.  It wasn’t how he wanted this to go, but in the end it could all work out for the best.

~~~***~~~***

Bucky could no longer stand, his foot no longer able to support his weight.  Taking deep breaths, he concentrated on both stopping the trigger from taking shape and stopping or slowing down the poison that he could feel moving through his foot and up his leg.  Sitting down he kept his gun trained on the other three in the room, two women and one man.  The woman he had shot in the shoulder looked familiar but he couldn’t place her.  “You,” Bucky said pointing to the smaller woman with blond hair.  “Find the antidote.”

“I can say I never thought I would see you again,” the older man stated giving Bucky a small evil smile.  “You who ruined my life, you who forced my wife and daughter away.  There is no antidote.  Doctor Lukin and I created it just for you.”  The man tried to take a few steps closer to Bucky and Bucky fired a shot skimming the man’s ear in warning.  “I will enjoy watching you die, slow and painfully.”

~~~***~~~***

“How far out are we landing,” Steve asked as he began pacing in the holding bay.  Once he had received the text from George Talbot, Steve immediately went into planning mode.  He was grateful that no one had argued with any of his plans, Coulson leaving it all to him.  It was a simple plan, one he had used many times of course, he would enter from the front as the others would break in through side doors, roof openings, any opening they could find.  Free the hostage and kill as many Hydra agents as they could while laying explosives throughout the building.  Steve didn’t want this location to ever be used again.  

“About five miles out.  All vehicles are prepped, and we’re ready to go,” Trip stated as he finished loading up some weapons into one of the vans.  

“Stark, you have the perimeter, once that is clear I will need you inside.  Once we have George, fly him back here and come back.”  Steve adjusted his helmet and sleeves.  He silently hoped that Natasha had a com unit on her as well.  “Natasha.  Natasha,” he tried on what would have been their secure channel and sighed.  “If we can get any intel, grab it.  I want this place destroyed so time is of the essence people.”

“JARVIS, thanks to Ms. Romanoff is already linked in,” Tony stated with a small shrug.  “She used one of my little virus’.  There are a couple of files he is unable to access but shouldn’t be too much for Skye and I to grab those before the place blows.”

Steve placed his shield onto his back as he felt the plane start to descend.  “Remember we have people inside, Simmons, Morse, Natasha and Bucky.  And Ward.”

Skye rolled her eyes and sent a small glare over to Coulson.  “Yeah well if Ward gets hit in the crossfire....”

“We need him, Skye.  Ward comes back with us,” Coulson stressed.  

Steve hopped up onto the bike that was there and glanced around the group.  “Let’s move out.” _‘Bucky, I’m here. I’m coming,’_  Steve could only hope that he would make it in time.

~~~***~~~***

Natasha and Grant quickly unlocked all the cages and started to make their way up to the main level.  “How many guards.” Natasha asked as they moved up the flight of stairs in a large group.  

“Fifty on the main level,” Grant replied as he helped one lady up the stairs.  “We’ll never make it out of here, there are over two hundred agents in this building.”

Natasha gave a small smile when a large explosion was heard above them.  “You were saying?  Looks like the Calvary has arrived.”  Natasha slipped in her earbud and turned it on.  “Bout time you decided to show, Rogers.”

“Natasha, thank god.  Where are you?” Steve asked and Natasha could hear the screams of Hydra agents falling around him.  

“Heading your way.  Have the hostages, hopefully you have a large transport with you.”  Natasha directed everyone to stand aside as she opened the door to the main level, unsure what sort of welcoming committee she would face.  “Stark with you?”

“Well, well, if it isn’t my favorite Russian beauty.  I can say, I am a little hurt you didn’t invite us to the party sooner, I thought we were closer than that,” Tony stated.

Natasha dove into the main corridor and began to fire.  Throwing her electric bombs at the small group of men behind a large desk.  “You have the strangest idea of a party, Stark.”  Using the desk, Natasha jumped over one agent, and wrapped a wire around his neck, snapping his neck as she twisted in the air and landed on her feet.  “Talbot wasn’t with the other hostages.”

Natasha looked over and saw the main door fly off it’s hinges and flew across the floor.  Steve came in and gave her a small shrug.  “We’re a little late but glad you saved some for us.”  Turning to Skye, Steve pointed to the computer behind the desk, knowing she would be able to access what they needed.  He glanced over to the door that lead to the lower levels and walked over.  “We have transportation for all of you,” Steve stated as slowly people started to make their way out of the stairway.  “We will be getting all of you to safety.  Just follow that man there, his name is Mac, he will get you to safety.”  Steve started to help some through the front door to the awaiting buses and vans.  Some of the healthier ones quickly made their way to the drivers seats and within fifteen minutes the transports began to make their way back to the Bus.  

Once everyone was packed up and on their way to safety, Steve turned to Natasha.  “George is safe, Bucky found him.  I just don’t know where.”  Steve knew that Bucky wouldn’t have an earbud, but he could feel Bucky around.  Closing his eyes, Steve wondered if maybe he could reach Bucky another way.  He recalled when Bucky had left him in Warsaw how he had felt Bucky in his mind.  _‘Bucky?  Can you hear me,’_ he asked as he directed his whole mind and soul to think of his mate.  

_ ‘Stevie?’  _ Came the response, and Steve let out a deep sigh, thankful for this unknown aspect of their connection.  He could feel Bucky deep in his soul, feel the love and feel pain that Bucky was feeling.

Blocking out the pain and trying to make sure he sent as much love and strength through the bond to Bucky.  _‘Where are you?  We are here to help.’_

_ ‘Third floor, main lab.  The kid, get him first.  Second Floor, have a knife in the handle.  Told him to only open for you or me.  Get him, get him out first.’ _

_ ‘Ok, we will get him Buck.  Then I’m coming to you.  Take my strength.  I’m coming.’ _   Steve opened his eyes and looked at the others.  “Second floor, we have to get George first.  Bucky is on the third floor in the main lab.”  

Natasha and the others could only stare at Steve as he quickly made his way toward the stairs leading up.  “How do you know that,” Natasha asked following close behind.  “Stark, we have a lead on Talbot.  Second floor.”  By the time the others made it to the second floor, Steve was already standing in front of one of the small closets, pulling a knife out of the handle.  “Steve...”

“Must be that whole ‘I’m Alpha hear me roar, me find mate’,” Tony stated as he came up behind them.

“Shut up, Stark.  You really know nothing,” Natasha stated, shaking her head.  

“George, my name is Steve Rogers.  The man who helped you, told me you were in here.  We’re here to take you home.”  Steve slowly began to open the door spotting a small boy and held his hand out.  “George, it’s ok. We’re here to help, take you home to your family.”  George reached out and took Steve’s hand looking around when he stepped out into the bright hallway.  “This is Tony Stark, he will get you to our plane.  We have one more thing to do, and then we’ll get you home.”  

“Come on, kid. Let’s get you some food and rest huh,” Tony stated as he lifted George Talbot into his arms and took off.  

Turning to Grant, Natasha raised her eyebrow.  “Where is the main lab?”

Before Grant could answer Steve was already on his way up the stairs, running down the hall toward where he could tell Bucky was at.  He could feel Bucky’s pain and Steve had a feeling that time was of the essence.  As soon as he opened the door leading to the third floor, Steve was met by Hydra agents trying to get inside one of the rooms.  Steve could only guess that it was the very room he needed.  Quickly he pulled his shield off of his back, arm drawing back and threw it down the hall.  Gun in his hand, Steve started to make his way down the hall, getting his shield and letting that act as a diversion, knocking some agents out as Natasha, May, Coulson and Trip behind him started shooting and eliminating the agents in their way.  

After knocking the last Hydra agent out cold, Steve went up to the door and tried to figure out how to open it.  _‘Bucky, I’m outside the door.  Can you open it,’_ Steve asked.  

They heard movement behind the door, as the locks disengaged.  Coulson gave a small smile when he spotted a young blond on the other side.  “Simmons,” he nodded as the group made their way inside.

“Bucky,” Steve immediately went to the man sitting on the floor.  “What did you do to him?”

Simmons glanced over at the doctor and the remains of Lukin.  “It was poison.  I’ve been trying to find an antidote but I haven’t been able to find anything.”

Steve stood and went over to the doctor, wrapping his hand around the man’s throat and lifting him in the air.  “Where is it?”  The doctor could only smile and glare down at Bucky on the ground.  Dropping the man, Steve went back over to Bucky.  “Where?”

“You have to remove it, Steve.  I can’t hold it off much longer,” Bucky stated as he reached down to undo the laces on his right boot.  

“Buck... What?”  Steve asked, helping Bucky remove his boot.  “Oh my god,” he breathed seeing something he never wanted to see.  “What is this?”

The skin on Bucky’s foot where the needles had gone in was gone, as was the tissue and muscle leaving large holes along the sides.  The rest was gray in color up to about mid-calf.  Four of his toes already missing as yellow puss began to come out of the holes on his foot.  “We have to remove it.  If we don’t it will keep moving up my leg to the rest of my body.  Once this is gone, I can fight the rest of it, but please.... Steve.  I can’t fight it much longer.”

Steve could only close his eyes, knowing what Bucky was saying was true.  Even if there is an antidote it would be too late to save his foot.  “Ok.  Can it wait until we get out of here, or...”

“The chair.  Should be a saw or something.  Strap me in.  Steve... Please,” Bucky asked as he held his hand out for Steve to help him up.

“Natasha,” Steve asked he helped Bucky over to the chair.  “And get him out of here,” Steve pointed to the doctor.  Steve helped Bucky into the chair, finding a small mouth guard on the table.  At Bucky’s nod, Steve held it out so Bucky could bite down.  Steve placed only one strap on each arm, wanting Bucky to know he could escape, trying to not let Bucky feel trapped.  He could sense the fear radiating off of Bucky, and Steve knew that this would take every ounce of bravery that Bucky had to not react.  Moving so he could sit on top of Bucky’s hips, he glanced over at Natasha, letting her know he would try to keep Bucky calm.  

Bucky leaned his head back, taking deep breaths to ready himself for what was to come.  There was no other choice, but Bucky knew memories of his arm being taken would come to mind.  There was no way around it.  He felt Steve’s forehead lean against his own, could smell Steve’s scent calming him.  “Do it.”

“What the hell are you doing,” came Tony’s voice from the door way.  “You aren’t honestly going to do this?”

“Stark, it has to be done.  Get the last of the information you can, once we’re done we’re out of here,” Natasha stated as she moved the saw closer to Bucky’s leg.  “Ok, we’re going to have to take at least half of the calf, about an inch above the infected parts.  I’m sorry, Yasha.”

“Do it,” Bucky stated nodding, knowing he could trust Natasha to do what had to be done.  He was grateful that she was doing it, and not Steve.  Opening his eyes, Bucky gave Steve a small smile, taking any comfort he could from his lover.  He held his breath as soon as he felt the saw start to move against his skin.  Hear and feel the vibrations of the electric saw as the edges slide across his flesh, tearing it and moving down through the muscle down to the bone.  Trying to block out the pain, he concentrated on Steve’s voice deep inside his head, feeling the love.  

Natasha finished and quickly looked for something that could stop the bleeding.  “Dammit,” she silently cursed as she looked around.  She spotted a small torch and cringed.  Not the best way to do this, knowing the risks of infection was high but finding nothing else they could use.  “Ok, Almost done, Yasha.  Then we’ll get you out of here.”  Knowing that they would head to the safety soon, and that any infection that would start could be taken care of, Natasha turned on the small torch and moved it to the ragged flesh of Bucky’s leg.  The smell of burnt flesh began to rise and she had to force herself to block it out and not get sick.  It wasn’t the first time she had experienced that smell, but she wasn’t fond of it.  

Once finished, she quickly placed the removed limb and placed it inside a case she had found.  If nothing else she hoped they could find an antidote or something that could stop this from every happening again.  Knowing Hydra this would not be the last time this poison would be used once they found out that it worked.  She helped Steve lift Bucky up and out of the chair.  Glancing down at the remains of Lukin she gave Bucky a small smile.  “Thank you,” she said giving him a small kiss on his cheek.  She felt Bucky hand her a small bomb and the remote devise.  Knowing what he was giving her, she bent down and placed the final bomb on Lukin’s groin area.  “Let’s go, now.”  Moving back over to Steve and Bucky, Natasha lifted one of Bucky’s arms over her shoulder.

“We’re moving out, everyone start heading back,” Steve called through the coms, slowly helping Bucky down the stairs to the awaiting van.  “Skye?”

“Finished up, Cap and van is warmed up for you,” she called back over.  “The rest of us are clear, just waiting for you guys.”

Trip came over the coms, “May, Coulson and I are already heading back with the Doctor and Ward.  Jemma and Bobby are with Skye.”

Steve and Natasha placed Bucky into the back of the van, laying him down so his head was on Steve’s lap.  “Go.  Let’s get the hell out of here.”  

When they were far enough away, Natasha placed the detonator in Bucky’s hands and wrapped her own hand around his.  Together the two pressed the button and watched the complex start to vanish in explosions.  “No more,” Natasha quietly added as the whole building went up in one large explosion.  Finally both were able to close a chapter on their lives, no one would suffer as they had.  Lukin and the main Red Room base was gone.

~~~***~~~***


	14. 3.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It angered him beyond belief. Bucky deserved to have a peaceful life, a life without pain and suffering any more. Steve only knew that no matter what he would stand beside him and fight along side of him. Steve was never going to let Bucky go again. “I’ll be here no matter what.”  
> “Till the end of the line, pal,” Bucky gave a small smile over to Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short this time (and a posting a bit later than I had hoped) but had been working more this past week to have as much done before I head to Chicago tomorrow for training my boss wants me to do. Working on a video as well for this whole stuff too to make up for it all, and will have a much longer chapter for you guys next Sunday. Thank you all again, I can’t say that enough. You guys have been the best ever. Much love and everything to all of you guys.

~~~***~~~***

3.1 - Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

_Dream the same thing every night_

_I see our freedom in my sight_

_No locked doors, no windows barred_

_No things to make my brain seem scarred_

Tony stood outside the small medical bay, looking in at Steve and Bucky as Simmons worked to hook up the monitors and IV.  He had gone through everything, seen what his own father approved.  It made him sick knowing that because of his family, Barnes who should be a declared a hero became what he did.  Arm destroyed in the fall and remainder taken by Hydra and now this.  No one should ever have to go through what Barnes had gone through, and Tony knew he had to make it right.  He had to try and make up for what his father allowed to happen.  Even if his father didn’t know it was his friend they had been working on, just reading what his father approved for the volunteer made Tony sick.  How his father could allow that to happen to anyone is beyond him.  

They would be arriving at a drop off point in the next hour or so, returning George to his family then Tony knew he had to return to New York.  He had some ideas on how he could at least make life a little better for Barnes.  Stepping inside the small room, Tony gave Steve a small smile.  What does a person say to someone who allowed and demanded their leg be removed?  “So I was thinking... I have the schematics for your arm.  It is a little outdated, new tech, better design....”

Bucky glanced over at Stark and shook his head.  “The arm is attached so it cannot come off.  Updated in parts yes, but complete removal could be fatal.”  Bucky shrugged and shook his head.  “Safety precaution on Hydra’s part.”

Tony went and leaned against the wall opposite of Steve, moving his head side to side as he went through what he would be able to do without complete removal.  “I can work with that.  Pieces here and there.. More long term.  Got it.”

“Stark,” Steve began, not knowing where Tony was going with any of this, but not sure he wanted to know.  Bucky had been through so much and to try and discuss additions or changed to his arm when he had just lost his leg was not something Steve felt needed to be discussed at that time.  

“Right...Well sine I have some plans already in mind for the arm, I was thinking... It wouldn’t be too difficult to adapt it for say... A leg,” Tony said with a small shrug, arms out to the side.  “Nice little mechanical leg, much like your arm but more up to date, hooked up much like your arm.  I could have you up and running again in say.. A week, two at the most.”

“Why?”  Bucky looked Stark over, trying to gauge what his motive would be.  “Why do this?”

Tony shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look as nonchalant as he can.  “For all the Veteran’s days and Memorial days I didn’t bother to give a damn about?” Tony began.  “Maybe I feel that you have given enough for this country, and it’s about damn time we give something back.”  Tony didn’t even want to get into any other reasons behind it, it was his own demons he would have to come to grips with.  “Just say yes, and once I drop George off with his dad, I’ll fly right now and in a week, two you will have a new leg.”

Steve could only look up and give Tony a small smile.  “Thank you,” he mouthed knowing the other man saw it.  Looking down at Bucky he raised his eyebrow and shrugged.  “What do you say, Buck.”

“Ok,” Bucky agreed.  “Thank you, I know you don’t have to do this, but... Thanks.”

Tony nodded and looked down at both men.  “You know there is this thing called sleep.  Looks like you both need it.”

Steve let out a small laugh and stretched.  “Can’t for 24 hours at least.  Have to get the rest of the poison out, and it is easier this way,” Steve explained.  “We’ll get some later.  Promise.”

“Good, good,” Tony stated as they all looked toward the door as it opened.  

Jemma poked her head inside and gave them all a small smile.  “I’m sorry to interrupt but George wanted to see how you were doing before he left.”  Glancing over at Tony she shrugged.  “We’re almost to the drop point.”

George slowly came in and went over to the bed Bucky was laying on.  “Are you ok?”

Bucky reached out with his right arm to lay a hand on George’s shoulder.  “I’ll be fine.  Takes a lot more than Hydra agents to bring me down.  You?  They didn’t do anything to you, did they?”  George shook his head and gave Bucky a smile.  “Good.  Now I want you to do me a favor, ok?  You get home to your parents, you let them spoil you rotten, cause I know that’s what they will do.  But you will need to tell them if something gets to much for you, alright?  It is ok to be scared.  I want you to promise me that if something bothers you, you will tell them.  Don’t let what happen scare you.”

“Ok, I promise.  Thank you.”  George reached up and gave Bucky a small hug.  “I don’t even know your name.”

“James,” Bucky responded sending a small glance in Steve’s direction.  “Now you, keep your chin up and give your parents a big hug.”

Tony lead George out of the room, leaving Emma, Steve and Bucky alone.  “I will need another sample if that is alright.  I want to check how much of the poison is gone.”  Sample in hand, Jemma left the two alone.

Steve reached over and ran his hand through Bucky’s hair.  “How are you really doing,” Steve asked knowing Bucky had been putting up a front with the others.  

Bucky shrugged and let out a deep breath.  “One day I may be more machine than man at this rate.  I think I remember this....This feeling something that isn’t there anymore.  I have flashes of being dragged through the snow, half of my arm gone.  I remember thinking then that my hand was cold or itched... Some shit like that.  Same damn thing, I swear my damn foot itches.  You know that type that you get and you can’t just bend down and scratch it cause you got those boots on, but it bugs the hell out of you so you try to ignore it but it gets worse.  That’s what I feel right now.”  Bucky felt Steve grab his hand to hold it close to him.   “I still get that at times with my arm, but not as bad anymore.  Times I open my eyes and look down to see this damn thing...” he began lifting his metal arm so he could see it fully.  “I remember when I first saw it, strangled this doctor.  Remember thinking, what the hell is this?”  Bucky turned his head a little to bring Steve’s hand up to his lips for a light kiss.  “As much as I hate this damn thing and what it represents, I can’t be completely mad.  I can function, I can still do things I was able to do before, but ....”

Steve bent down to place a light kiss on Bucky’s lips before leaning back to give the man he loved a smile.  “I know.  I hate Hydra with every fiber of my being, I want to lay them all to waste for what they are and what they did to you.  But on the other side, I am grateful.  If they hadn’t then you wouldn’t be here today and that is something I know I can’t live with.  I tried, Buck, I did.  When they brought me out, I tried to live my life, tried to carry on but I couldn't.  It was like I was functioning, not really here.  Just existing, now... Now i feel complete again and I’m happy.”

“You were always a romantic little sap,” Bucky said with a small smile as he reached up and ruffled Steve’s hair.  “Love you, Punk.”

“Love you too, Jerk,” Steve leaned back in his chair.  He was tired, deep in his bones, but he refused to sleep while Bucky was being forced to stay awake.  He knew Bucky wouldn’t mind if Steve slept, but he was determined to make it.  He had been able to go on less sleep before and it wouldn’t be the first nor last time.  “How much do you remember?”

Bucky moved around a little so he could sit up more, allowing Steve to rearrange the pillows so it would be more comfortable.  “Enough, then again not enough.  At times too much.  Bits and pieces come and go, like watching something in slow motion or fast forward.  Times it feels like it’s someone else’s life but know it’s not.   I remember your mom, my parents... The kids.  Remember Howard and the accident I caused.  Remember blood, Natalia... Then on the other hand, I don’t remember shit. It’s like I don’t know anything.”  Bucky gave a small laugh as he leaned his head back against the pillows.  “I read the files and I know I should know what it is saying, what I did but it’s not coming.  I know I did those things but to remember it... It’s not there.”

“It’ll come, Buck.  It will take time, I know it will.”  Steve could only hold tight to Bucky’s hand wanting so much more but knowing now was not the time nor the place.  Steve was still in shock in a way.  Finding Bucky had been wonderful, but knowing how the man is suffering, how once again because of Hydra he was hurting.  Steve could not ever imagine what it would be like to lose a limb, but Bucky had now lost two because of Hydra.  It angered him beyond belief.  Bucky deserved to have a peaceful life, a life without pain and suffering any more.  Steve only knew that no matter what he would stand beside him and fight along side of him.  Steve was never going to let Bucky go again.  “I’ll be here no matter what.”

“Till the end of the line, pal,” Bucky gave a small smile over to Steve.  

~~~***~~~***

Once they arrived back at SHIELD’s new Headquarters, Bucky was placed in the medical ward with Steve by his side.  Until they were sure he was free of the poison and trigger, it would be the safest place.  Steve watched as they hooked Bucky up to various machines to monitor his vitals, and tried to send him comfort when images of the past would flash before his lover’s eyes.  If Steve could do anything in the future he would make sure Bucky never had to see another medical facility again.  Natasha came in and sat with the two men, going over what they had learned from her and Bucky’s journey across Europe and Russia.  They all knew that it would take time for the latest information to be decoded and deciphered.  It wasn’t long after they had gotten settled in when the door to the room slowly opened and Skye poked her head in.  “Um... Hi.”

Steve stood, giving the young woman a smile.  “Come in.”  Steve looked over at Bucky and smiled.  “Skye I want you to meet James Buchanan Barnes.  Bucky meet Skye... Your daughter.”

Bucky closed his eyes, reaching out his hand for Skye.  When he felt her hand in his own, Bucky opened his eyes again and gave a small smile.  “I don’t remember much about her, but I can tell you.  You look a lot like what I remember her being.”

Skye gave a small laugh as she sat down in the chair Steve had vacated.  “Guess it’s a good thing, knew I got my good looks from somewhere.  Granted, it’s not like you’re a troll or something.”

“Definitely have had better days that is for sure,” Bucky laughed.  “Look like shit and i know it.  No need to try and flatter me.”

“My whole life I had always wondered who my parents were, where they were... Wondering why i wasn’t enough,” she began waving away the protest that she saw forthcoming from Bucky.  “Knowing what I do now, it’s stupid.  Not like either of you had a choice, but I did wonder.  Then it was just... I wanted to find you.  It was so much of my life, this... Need to find out who I was.  The past year or so, things have been mentioned and explained but I still wanted to know.  I was finally learning some of my history and why I always felt like a drifter never having a place to call my own.  SHIELD has helped with that, I admit.  I love these guys, but something was always missing.”  Running her hand through her hair, Skye could only give a small laugh.  “Then it was this doctor claiming to be my father and as much as I almost believed it, and knew he was a monster, a part of me ached.  Then Steve came along and...”

“Steve’s always had a way to bring things to light, to set things right,” Bucky explained as he held onto his daughter’s hand.  It was unreal, something he never thought he would have.  “I’m sorry.  For everything.  If I could go back and change it, I would.”

Skye gave him a small smile and shrugged.  “It’s ok, I mean it isn’t like you knew and Hydra well... We wont get into that.  But at least... Well that is if you want to... We have now.”

Bucky closed his eyes briefly and gently pulled her down so he could give her a small hug.  “Yeah... I think I’d like that.”

~~~***~~~***

Steve left Bucky and Skye alone to try and get to know each other.  He will never understand how in the world Bucky had done it so many times when they were growing up, staying beside a bed side just waiting and hoping for the best.  Steve could barely handle it, the quiet, the whiteness, the smell.... Everything.  Bucky had never been sick, not really, but not once when Steve had been sick did Bucky NOT wait by his side telling him stories, trying to keep Steve there with them all.  With as many times Bucky had to sit through one of the priests come in and give him last rites, Steve could only shake his head.  Bucky had always been stronger than he was, no matter what anyone said.  Bucky was the reason why Steve was there today.  Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Steve knew he had to let Sam know what was going on, he owed it to his friend.  “And here I thought you forgot my number, I was almost hurt,” came the voice of Steve’s rock the past year.  

“if I could only be so lucky,” Steve replied as he made his way toward outside.  He had to think, to clear his head.  “We found him, Sam.”

“Boubt damn time,” Sam said and Steve could almost hear the smile.  “You tell that man he owes me a drink, hell a damn case for keeping your ass out of trouble looking for him.”

“I’ll make sure to tell him him.”

“You two talk yet?  You know, about....”

Steve knew what Sam was hinting at and Steve closed his eyes in pain for a second and took a deep breath.  “Not yet.”

“Dammit, Steve you can’t put that shit off.  If you won’t tell him I will and trust me it is something he will want to hear from you.”

“I will, I swear but now is not a good time.”

“It is never a good time, but it needs to be done.  What’s holding you back?”

“They poisoned him, Sam.  We had to take his leg.... I just .... He’s been through so much, I don’t think this is a good time,” Steve leaned against the wall and looked out as the sun began to set.  It was peaceful, the only peace he had for the storm that was brewing deep inside him.  “I know he needs to know and I knew we both need to work through it, but... What kind of man would I be if I added this on top of what he is going through now?  He lost his arm during the war, Hydra gave him the metal one.  Now he lost his leg, and Stark is going to make him another.  Losing two limbs....fighting programming that they placed in him.  He is trying to remember, trying to get to know his daughter... How can I add to what he already has to deal with?”

Steve heard Sam take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.  “That guy never gets a break does he?”  Steve could hear Sam pacing around and he could understand.  The need to try and erase all the pain Bucky was going through, to ease it somehow was strong, but no real answer as to how came to mind.  “Look, I know he has gone through hell and back, so have you.  This... This is something that only you two can get through together.  He’s in the hospital now?”

“Yeah, we have to keep him awake for another fifteen hours or so.  Then hopefully he can get some rest.  I plan to move him into a room so he can without any of the crap that a hospital room can be.  He already is fighting it, fighting against just up and leaving I can tell.  I’m hoping I can get him into a room so he can rest and relax some.”

“Ok, promise me, this.  And I mean it.  Once you get him to a room, and you both get some sleep, you tell him.  You have to.  It is now or never, Steve.  You two will always have something come up that will shake you to the very core, and if it is not now it will never be the right time.  He needs to know and you need to get it out.  I don’t know him that well, but I can say he seems like one strong son-of-a-bitch.  He can handle it, the only thing stopping this discussion is you.  Don’t use him as an excuse.  I’m sure he can handle it.”

Steve nodded knowing Sam couldn’t see him but knowing he was right.  He couldn’t use Bucky’s injuries as an excuse.  They both needed to get past this, maybe if they got everything out at once they could really move on.  “I promise.”

“Good.  I expect an update in two days, you hear me.  I will be there when you guys need me.  Ok.  Trust me, once this shit is all over you two will take a nice damn vacation and heal.”

“Thanks Sam.  For everything.”

“What are friends for?”

~~~***~~~***


	15. 3.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a long needed talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. Between the class in Chicago last week and the holidays this week and work... life has been a little hectic. This chapter is short but much needed. Promise will be on time next week with a video even (yep almost done with it.)

~~~***~~~***

It had been a long couple of days between the Hydra base and waiting for the poison to leave Bucky’s body, but finally they had been able to get out of medical.  Steve had been given a room and he helped Bucky to it, which wasn’t easy considering Bucky didn’t want much help but needed it.  Jemma had mentioned a temporary prosthesis which would be in the next day.  Bucky, Steve knew, hated feeling like he couldn’t protect them all, hated feeling vulnerable.  Once they were in the room, Bucky went straight to the small bathroom attached as Steve moved around the room, taking everything in.  He couldn’t imagine what Bucky was going through, or what he was feeling and thinking for all Steve could concentrate on was eliminating every Hydra agent out there.  Revenge was high on his list of things even though Steve knew that it wasn’t healthy.  

“Okay, what is eating you?  And don’t say nothing because I know you,” Bucky began as he came out of the bathroom to sit on the bed they had been provided.  “There is something you are hiding from me, and it is tearing you apart so spill.”

Steve looked up at Bucky and shrugged, “it’s nothing....”

“Bullshit, Steve.  Don’t try to feed me that load of crap.”  Bucky leaned back on his elbows and stared at Steve, letting the younger man know he wasn’t joking around.  “I can still take you down and sit on your skinny ass until you tell me.  Something is eating you, and I know you must have this belief that I have been through enough or whatever garbage, but trust me Stevie, I’m going to be ok.  Soooo now it’s my turn to take care of you.”

Steve laughed a little shaking his head.  “Buck, you have taken care of me our whole lives.  Maybe it is time for me to help you.”

“Fine, but keeping whatever it is you are dealing with inside isn’t helping me.  So unless you want me to tickle or sit on your ass spit it out.”  Bucky sat up and laid his elbows on his knees to stare at Steve.  He could feel the sadness, shame, hurt and anger coming off of Steve like a knife to the heart.  He wouldn’t rest until Steve told him what was going on.  And heaven help him if Steve tried to take the blame for what happened to Bucky.  He knew Steve most likely felt guilt over it, which frankly was bullshit, but he needed everything out on the table so they could work on the future for them.  And if they were going to make things work and stick together, they would have to be open with each other.  Bucky knew he would need Steve just as much as Steve needed him in the coming months and years as the memories and everything came to light in his own mind.  Letting out a deep sigh, Bucky looked over at Steve and gave him a small smile.  “Ok, if you’re not gonna talk then I will.  Just sit there and listen, alright?  I mean it, Stevie... there...there are some things we need to discuss... I know neither one of us planned this, or whatever.  This between us, what happened.  I know what I want and feel, but I need to know where you stand on it all.  Cause, Steve, we have a chance now, one we didn’t have back then.  If you honestly do not want this... If you have any doubts or whatever we can end it.  We can both go on those pills and go on as none of this happened.”

Steve sat down in a chair across from Bucky and just stared at him.  They could go back to being friends?  Is that what Bucky wanted?  “What?  Buck...”

Bucky held up his hand halting anything Steve was about to say.  “Look, I know how things were, and how they are now.  But think about it Steve, really think about it.  When we first got together it wasn’t like either one of us had a real choice in the whole thing, not really.  Now they have those pills that basically stop this whole thing.  It is a chance, if you want it.  I know that dame Sharon was checking you out... It could be a chance at a normal life for you, something you always wanted.  The whole wife and kids and damn white picket fence.”

“Bucky....”

“Think about it... Really think about it.”  Bucky leaned back a little to rest on his elbows, eyes focused on Steve.  “I know where I stand on it, but I want you to think about it before you answer.”

Steve stood and began pacing, running his hand through his hair.  “I don’t need to think about it, Buck.  I know where I stand.  I .... Dammit, I have loved you since I was seventeen.  You are what I want.  It wasn’t just the serum.  Maybe it just let my guard down, or amplified it some...I don’t know but I do know that I have loved you long before the serum ever came into my system.”

Bucky gave Steve a smile and shook his head in laughter.  “I got you beat, pal.  I knew I was in love with you when I was fifteen.”  Steve stopped his pacing and turned to stare back at Bucky.  “I mean it.  Look there is a lot about me you don’t know, even from when we were kids.  A lot of shit I kept from you.  Who I am, really am.  About... Hell a lot of things....It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you, Stevie, it’s just you know me, I have never been good at opening up about shit.”

Steve moved across the room so he could kneel in front of Bucky between his legs.  Laying his hand on top of Bucky’s knees, Steve gave the man a small smile.  “I know about your father, Buck.  How he used to.. Used to beat you... Lucy and Elmer are still alive.  They told me all about it.  Well most of it anyway.  Bucky... I’m sorry.  I never knew.”

Bucky looked away from Steve for a second an closed his eyes, trying to eliminate the vision that sprang forth before his eyes.  He could still feel the belt from that last beating he received, the memory flashing before him like it was just yesterday.  “Yeah, well, thankfully he’s dead and buried.”  Taking another deep breath, Bucky sat up and looked back at Steve.  Reaching out, he picked Steve’s hand and held it between his own.  “So, if we do this, for real this time...it means we have to be open.  No damn secrets, okay?  I mean it, Stevie. I need you to be honest with me cause you know damn well I like to keep shit in and I will need help to get through that and all this shit.”

Steve reached up and ran his hand across Bucky’s cheek as he leaned up and gave the older man a light kiss on the lips.  “Okay.”  Steve stood and once again began pacing.  He knew he had to get it out, he had promised Sam he would.  Bucky deserved to know but with everything Bucky had been through, Steve hated to lay this on him as well.  “You have been through so much, and I hate laying anything more on you.  But you’re right, if we are going to move forward as a couple, a real couple, we have to let it out.”  Steve stopped by the dresser and leaned against it, partly hoping it could hold him up as he told Bucky.  He knew that if he was in Bucky’s arms right now he wouldn’t be able to get it out, so he simply leaned against the dresser and took a deep breath.  “What do you know about the serum?  About what we are now?”

Bucky moved back on the bed so he could lean against the wall, crossing his arms in front of him.  Whatever Steve was getting to, Bucky knew it was important.  “Just what Hydra had on it.  How they were working on recreating Erskine’s serum, how they were able to control me either by the pills or some version of your scent.”

Steve nodded and made a mental note to get the file back from Bruce so Bucky could read up on what Erskine had created.  “Peggy saved all of Erskine’s notes and um...fuck I’m not even sure how to tell you.”

“Just spit it out, Steve.”

“Remember that night, before...before I lost you?” Bucky nodded remembering it all in full detail.  “Well what I didn’t know then, but know now is...wow... It was easier to tell it to Sam.”  Steve closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face, trying to gather his strength to tell Bucky how he had screwed up.  “Sam’s the only one I have told... He keeps hounding me telling me I have to tell you but...this isn’t easy.”

Bucky reached and held out his hand for Steve to take.  “Come here.”  Steve took Bucky’s hand and moved beside him on the bed to lay his head on Bucky’s shoulder.  “Just take a deep breath, Stevie.  Nothing you say will stop me from loving you, you know that.  Nothing.”

“I was pregnant.”

Bucky froze for a second running what Steve had just said through his head.  “What?”

Steve buried his face into Bucky’s neck and let out a shaky breath.  “I didn’t know, even after I was brought back out of the ice.  I felt strange, but figured it was just you not being there and the time in the ice.  Everything seemed fine for a month or so but then I felt a sharp pain inside.  Like my soul was being ripped in two.  That’s when the blood started...I just....I didn’t know.  God, Buck... I was carrying your child and didn’t even know.  I killed our baby.”

Bucky pulled Steve closer and just held him as he cried.  Bucky’s mind was going a million miles a minute trying to make sense of it all.  The fact that Steve could get pregnant was beyond anything he had ever thought of, but to know that Steve had suffered alone, without him there to comfort him was like a knife stabbing him in the chest.  “Shhhh, it’s okay, Stevie....You didn’t know.  Hell I don’t think anyone knew something like that would be possible.  It’s not your fault.”

“It is, Buck.  If I hadn’t... I’m sorry....”

Bucky closed his eyes, trying to go through all he could remember.  He knew from the files when they had found Steve and everything and a great many items started to fall into place.  “It’s not your fault, Steve.  Look at me.  Come on... Steve....Look at me.”  Once he had Steve looking at him, Bucky began to wipe the tears that were falling down Steve’s face.  “It wasn’t your fault, Steve.  Listen...I think I know what happened, and it wasn’t your fault.  I read the files, remember.  I know when you came out of the ice.  Fuck so much makes sense now.  They tried to bring me out around that time, but they couldn’t control me.  I think even then I knew something.  I must have known and tried to get to you... The pills, Steve.  Tell me when did they start?”

Steve looked up at Bucky and shrugged.  “Not long after I came out of the ice.”

Bucky leaned down and gave Steve a small kiss on the lips.  “It was the pills, Steve.  When they tried to bring me out and I was out of control, they knew something.  Maybe not the extent of it all, but they knew that just your presence would cause an issue in controlling me.  That’s why they gave you the pills.  Those pills were meant to eliminate anything about you being an Omega... It changed your body... Everything so that you were just like everyone else.  Only an Omega be it male can have a child, Steve...Hydra and their pill killed our child, not you.  If it had been what you did, Stevie, you would have had that immediately upon getting defrosted.... It wasn’t your fault, Steve.  Hell we didn’t even know it was possible.  Fuck I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it.  But it was Hydra.... Not you.”

Steve curled back into Bucky’s side and just continued to cry, to mourn in a way he had not allowed himself.  “It doesn’t matter... Hydra, me... Because of me our baby is gone.”

Bucky moved so they could lay down flat on the bed and pulled Steve as close as he could trying to offer comfort.  This was one more thing he added to his list on why Hydra needed to be destroyed.  Bucky would make them pay for all of this, for hurting his Steve like this.  Hydra made the biggest mistake of their lives.  “Shhhh, it’s okay, Stevie.  I’m here.  Let it out.  I’m here and I love you, punk, no matter what.  Shhhh.”  Bucky held Steve for what seemed like hours, offering love and comfort as much as he could.  He hated what Steve was going through, he hated the guilt that Steve felt for it wasn’t the younger man’s fault.  One day they would get their revenge against Hydra.  One day they would maybe even have another child, but for now, Bucky could only try and ease some of Steve’s pain.  Steve eventually fell into a restless sleep, and Bucky could only hold him, lightly placing a kiss on his head to let Steve know he was there and he loved him.  Silently Bucky swore, Hydra would pay for the pain they had caused his love.  Slowly and painfully.

~~~***~~~***


	16. 3.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky do some serious talking. While Sam learns that not everything written about Captain America is all truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: First off let me say I am SOOOOOOOOoooooo sorry it has taken me so long to post anything. The past couple of months have not been easy RL wise and it left my muse completely in shambles. First holiday season since my mom’s passing, and her birthday... And my own PTSD issues ... I want to just say I am sooo sorry. Working on getting my head together to get back on a schedule with this again.  
> Since I have left you all hanging around (once again.. Sorry) This one is starting off with a nice little Stucky moment PLUS... Videos:  
> Part 1 and 2 vid location [here:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2sdz6bBtTs)  
> For those who like Widow/Hawkeye [(my sis’ request for a vid on Barton/Widow/Bobby triangle vid not completed and still in real early stages) :](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l_offSW7G4)  
> Preview of what is coming... [ Hints....](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-0bQMQX89k) :

~~~***~~~***

3.3

It felt like days before Steve had calmed down enough to try and rest, and in a way Bucky couldn’t blame him.  Just thinking about Steve having to go through all of that alone, having had to experience the loss of a child without him there beside his love.  It made Bucky thirst for revenge even more for the pain that it was causing Steve.  

So many thoughts, so much shit ran through Bucky's head he knew he would not sleep for a while.  One of course being, Steve could get pregnant.  Bucky wasn't sure what to think about that.  For one it would be being careful since they still weren't sure how often Steve would go into heat.  He knew before it was often because they were denying it, not believing it and frankly Bucky still wanting Steve to have a 'normal life'.  Now, Steve had been fucked with so much between becoming unfrozen, losing the baby, and the pills that Hydra/SHIELD had him on.  How often would Steve go into heat?  How often would they have to stop everything and hide away for a few days?  

Too many damn questions and not nearly enough answers, which didn’t make Bucky happy at all.  How the hell could a guy even get pregnant anyway?  Hell how was he to give birth?  A glimpse of Steve being cut open flashed before his eyes and Bucky had to calm his rapidly speeding heart and clear the red haze that started to float before his eyes.  He felt a light brush of lips on his chest and quickly started to calm slightly.  “You should get some sleep, you’re ass has been up for the past 36 hours at least that I know of and who knows how long before that.” 

“Hmm,” came the reply from the younger man as Bucky felt Steve’s hand start to move over his body.  “You haven’t either and you’re still awake.  What were you thinking about?” 

Bucky glanced down at Steve, trying not to smile at the image his friend and lover portrayed.  Steve had one arm slowly moving circles around Bucky’s chest and side as he rested his chin on the other to look up at Bucky.  “You,” Bucky responded trying not to laugh at the innocent look Steve was trying to portray.  “Which I can say if you keep moving farther south there pal, neither one of us will be getting much sleep in the near future.” 

Steve only gave a small smile, his hand gliding ‘father south’.  “If I sleep, you have to and for some reason you don’t look all that tired.” 

Bucky ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long sigh.  The last thing he wanted to do at that moment was think about anything Hydra not when certain parts of his body were definitely waking up to a whole ‘nother idea.  “Steve…”  Bucky took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  He caught Steve’s sadden questioning look and stared up at the ceiling.  “Hydra found a way that I didn’t need to sleep on missions.  I don’t know what they did but…” 

“You slept when we were together a few months ago.  Right?” Steve glanced down at the man he loved, hate filling him.  With all the documents he had found, only able to stomach a few in all honesty, he wondered just what Hydra did to this once vibrant man.  When they had been growing up, it would take an army to drag him out of bed if he didn’t have to be anywhere.  The thought that now, Bucky didn’t sleep sent a jolt of anger and sadness through him.   

“An hour, if that.”  Bucky reached up and ran his hand through Steve’s hair, still refusing to look him in the eye settling on staring at the way the fine hair moved through his fingers.   “The last time I remember sleeping… really sleeping was that night before we went to get Zola.  Before that… fuck it must have been before Pearl Harbor.  The sudden feeling of being trapped hit Bucky hard on, gently he pushed Steve off of him and sat up.  It hit him then, another knife deep into his heart and his very soul… he couldn’t escape.  Looking down at the one solid leg, one foot on the ground as the other just there… hanging over the edge of the bed but not reaching any further.  Flashes of a bed, strapped to a table.  White light shining as he glanced down to his left and watched in fascination as the a saw began to remove parts of what remained of his left arm.  “Fuck,” Bucky cursed as he leaned forward to run his hand through his hair.  “Damn, the whole fight or flight shit… I wouldn’t even make it two damn steps.” 

Steve cursed himself, hating himself instantly as he watch as Bucky struggled with the nightmare he had faced.  Slowly and carefully making sure he didn’t scare Bucky, Steve moved over so he could rest his forehead between Bucky’s shoulders.  “I’m sorry, Buck…I didn’t…” 

“Don’t,” Bucky interrupted.  Closing his eyes he sent a mental slap to himself to snap out of it.  Steve wasn’t to blame for anything that had happened to him during his time with Hydra, and Bucky didn’t want Steve to think he blamed him in any form or fashion.  He had to be stronger than this, had to battle through it and be there for Steve.  “it’s not your fault, Steve.  Just… can we not talk about that?  It’s done and over with, nothing can change it.  Okay?”  He felt Steve’s slight nod between his shoulders as Steve’s hands slowly started to glide over his back.  Closing his eyes, Bucky took a few deep breaths to clear the old images out of his mind.  He was at a SHIELD safe house with Steve.  He was no longer in that cold room, no longer being strapped down.  Feeling the light kisses across his neck, shoulders and back, Bucky let out a small laugh.  Only Steve would try and bring him back from the edge with kisses, but the feeling of being safe washed over him none-the-less.  "What the hell are you doing," Bucky said with a slight laugh in his voice. 

Steve smiled against the warm skin beneath his lips and lightly ran his tongue over one of the small scares that he had found on Bucky's right shoulder.  "Ma always said with love you can fix anything." 

"Oh is that what this is," Bucky turned his head slightly to look Steve in the eye.  "Trying to what... kill me with love?" 

Steve shook his head as he reached out to run his hand on Bucky's solid jaw.  "No... Just letting you know how much I love you.  No killing between us allowed."  Steve leaned forward so he could bring their lips closer together.  "I love you, Buck.  No matter what." 

"I'm not the same man, Steve." 

"You're still you, and I'm still me.  We're older, we've been through hell and back.  But you know what... we're still here.  And my heart still beats and my soul is complete because of you.  Good and bad, it doesn't matter to me.  I love YOU, James Buchannan Barnes.  I always have and nothing will change that."  Steve reached around to grab a hold of Bucky's hand slowly easing them back down on the bed.  moving over top of Bucky, Steve began to finally really discover the man he loved.  All their time together before had been about need and necessity.  They had never really had time to just feel, to just be and it was something that Steve was determined to change.  Bucky had given him an out but Steve knew that even without the damn serum and whatever this whole mess was, he would still want to be with Bucky.  Steve barely remembers a time when he wasn't in love with this man.   

Bucky had never been skinny, had always been muscular but the man below him was even more defined.  More beautiful.  There were old scars littered across Bucky's body, some he remembered from when they had been just two young kids back in Brooklyn.  The scar where Bucky had to have his appendix removed, the small scar on his right shoulder from where one punk tried to take Bucky's head off with a broken bottle.  But there were more, too many more for Steve to even imagine.  Each one telling a story about survival, of what Bucky had survived at the hands of Hydra and had come back to him.  "I love you," he whispered against the rapidly heated flesh, hands and lips, tongue and soul trying to engrain themselves into the man below him, trying to say what he felt.  Words could not even begin to describe what Steve felt for Bucky, so he would try to get his point across however he could.   

"Why am I the only one that is half naked," Bucky asked as he began to lift Steve's shirt up over his head, trailing kisses and light bites across the golden skin that was being exposed.  "Fuck, Stevie." Bucky pulled Steve down to him and kissed him like Steve was the very air he breathed.  He couldn't get enough, as he moved his hand down under Steve's sweatpants to cup one butt cheek.   

"Wait..." Steve quickly stood and went over to his bag and started digging.  He knew it had to be there somewhere, finally finding his charge, Steve held up the small tube of lube for Bucky to see, smiling as he heard laughter burst out of his lover. 

"You really are a damn boy scout aren't you?  You actually keep a damn bottle of that in your bag," Bucky reached out and pulled Steve back onto the bed quickly pulling down and off Steve's pants.  "Why the fuck does this feel like the first time for us," he asked in wonder as he began to slowly and carefully open Steve up.   

Steve ran his tongue over Bucky's lips before dipping down to deepen the kiss.  He knew what Bucky was saying, for in a way this was their first time.  All others was because it was necessary, the heat had driven both of them to near madness.  But now... now it was just about the two of them.  Steve knew no matter what their future held for them, he would forever remember this moment and smile knowing that above all else they loved each other. 

~~~***~~~***

Steve came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist as he looked for some clothes to wear for the day.  Bucky was already dressed and sitting against the wall on the bed as he read through some documents on a tablet he had.  "Anything interesting," Steve asked as he began to dress. 

"Just going over some documents I got from one of the last bases. Still trying to hunt down a couple of the top guys who are big on the experimentations and brainwashing bullshit.  Some reason I can't get a solid hit on them.  Every time I think I come close they move."  Bucky continued to scan through files hoping for some break. 

"You really going to go after them so soon,“ Steve asked as he made his way to the bed to sit down to put on his shoes.  He had hoped that Bucky was planning to stick around; especially after what had happened the last time he went up against one of the heads. 

Bucky reached over and placed his hand on Steve's neck to pull him into a kiss.  "Not yet, but I will.  I want to try and stay ahead of them, know where my enemies are.  Last thing I think either one of us wants is to have them sneak up behind us when we are unprepared.  But, Stevie....I promise, next time we go together, okay?" 

Steve grabbed the back of Bucky's head and pulled him in for another kiss, knowing that Bucky wouldn't leave without him was a big relief.  If Steve could help it, Bucky would never have to fight this battle with Hydra alone again, he would be there to ensure his love came back in one piece. Bucky laid down on the bed, dragging Steve on top of him as he ran his hand through Steve’s hair to deepen the kiss.  He knew that they should both get up and check on the others, but Bucky figured everyone could wait just a little while longer.  Unfortunately, everyone else had other plans as Steve’s phone went off.  “You have got to be kidding me,” Bucky cursed as he slammed his head against the bed.  “That had better be good or I swear, Stevie, I will throw that damn phone into the Atlantic.” 

Steve got up off of the bed and glanced at his phone he had left on the small dresser.  “It’s Sam.  Almost forgot he was going to try and see if they had a spare prosthetic you can use until Tony finishes what he was working on for you.  Figured it would be a lot easier for you this way.”  Quickly sending Sam a text back Steve gave Bucky another quick kiss.  “I’ll be right back, Sam’s right outside the compound and the last thing I think anyone needs is for him to get shot at.”  It didn’t take long before Steve came back into the room with Sam right on his heels.  “Sam meet Bucky...officially at least.” 

“You know you dragged our sorry asses all over this damn planet, right,” Sam stated as he moved to sit down in one of the chairs.  “Not too bad a crib.” 

Bucky shrugged and gave Sam a small smile. “It was this damn punk that decided to try and follow me.  I told him I would come to him when I was ready, but then this little shit never really did listen too much.” 

“Don’t I know it,” Sam reached into the bag he brought and pulled out a leg prosthetic and handing it over.  “It isn’t much for now, have a friend in the prosthetic ward at the VA that owed me one.  Gave him the measurements that Steve sent me and…” 

Steve helped Bucky get the new ‘leg’ on and helped him to stand.  “Not the greatest in the world, but is way better than just hopping around on one leg like a rabbit.  They haven’t come up with anything better for the veterans yet?  It is one of the most uncomfortable things around, and I can see that it would cause irritation on the stump.” 

“Medical technology isn’t there yet.  I know they keep trying to come up with some new things for everyone, but it just isn’t there yet.  So for now it is just this.”  Sam knew what horrors the men and women coming home have to deal with, and the lack of good prosthetics was just one of the many things that Sam wished they would fix in this day and age.   It was better than it had been for sure, but they had a long way to go before things would be right.  “Who knows if something can come out of that arm design or leg design that Stark is working on, maybe one day we can have something better for our Vets and everyone else.  At least it is a thought.” 

“If this damn thing can do some good for others, I don’t see too big of an issue with it.  I was lucky I guess in a way, I can still function normally with this damn arm.  Others weren’t so lucky.”  Bucky sat back down on the bed and gently massaged his thigh.   

Sam nodded a silent thanks to Bucky, knowing from everything Steve had told him about his friend, in the long run they would find a way to make life better for others.  That Hydra’s ‘weapon’ would be used as a model for others to be able to live a normal life.  “So what is the plan now that this idiot caught up to you?” 

Bucky shrugged and moved back so he could lean up against the wall.  “Right now, rest and heal, go through all the damn files I was able to grab and see where to go next.   Well that and get to know my daughter.”  Bucky laughed a little and shook his head.  “Daughter. Fuck.” 

Sam gave Steve a knowing look and a raised eyebrow.  “We talked about it, Sam.  Bucky knows.” 

“Bout damn time.  You have been holding that shit in for…too damn long.  You guys … okay?” 

“We will be.  It isn’t easy, but we’ll be okay,” Steve reached out and placed his hand in Bucky’s.  “We still have a lot to talk about, a lot to try and decide.  But I think we’ll get there.” 

Bucky leaned back to get a little more comfortable against the wall and closed his eyes briefly.  Fuck he was tired. When was the last time he had felt that?  ’43?  Hydra had eliminated the need for him to sleep, but it seemed that being back with Steve it was all coming back.  All he wanted to do was curl up and sleep for a year, but he knew he couldn’t.  The problem with sleeping meant nightmares, which Bucky was sure he would have to deal with.  One didn’t do what he had done and NOT relive them day in and day out.  Opening his eyes, Bucky gave Steve a small smile as he reached out for the other man’s hand. “We will.”  Looking back over at Sam, Bucky shrugged.  “Hydra is a parasite, a damn cancer on this planet.  Slowly trying to eat away at the very existence of mankind.  Won’t be easy to remove them all, and the bad part is if we don’t they will just come back stronger than ever.  They took enough from us, and I’ll be dammed if they take anything else.”   

“Please don’t tell me you are going after them, cause let me say I just ran all over the damn planet for you with this idiot..” Sam started as he pointed to Steve.  “I am not set for another go around.” 

 Bucky shook his head.  "One day for sure.  Trust me, they will never see it coming, and this time I swear they will not have enough heads to take over for the ones I plan to eliminate." 

"Ok that is just damn scary," Sam stated as he glanced over at Steve seeing that look in the other man's eyes Sam knew that Steve agreed.  "So, why don't you tell me something about this not so little shit, and I'm not talking about the crap that is in the books.  I want something real juicy."  Sam watched as Steve's cheeks turned bright red and he could only shake his head.  "Not that, dumbass, the last thing I want to hear is about... that!  Come on, there has to be something.  Damn books all say he is this wholesome American boy who went to church every Sunday, ma's apple pie and all that.  No way is anyone that wholesome." 

 Bucky looked over at Steve and smiled as Steve shook his head.  “Well he did go to church almost every damn Sunday.  I should know cause I had to go with him since this little shit somehow always found his face meeting a fist somewhere.  Someone had to be sure he didn’t get his ass beat in some alley somewhere.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Steve said as he lightly slapped Bucky on the shoulder.  “Really I wasn’t that bad.”

“Bullshit, Stevie.  I may still have some damn wholes in my head and may not remember everything but I sure as fuck remember that.”  Bucky lightly shoved Steve away grabbing a hold of his arm and pulling him closer to him when Steve tried to hit him again.  “I swear, at least once or twice a week, if I couldn’t find Steve at home, all I had to do was walk around listening for some fight going on.  And sure enough there was little Stevie, not even 90 pounds soaking wet in some alley or back yard, hell even the damn baseball field getting the shit beat out of him.  And what does he do… He stands back up each and every damn time he gets knocked down, fists at the ready telling to keep bringing it.”

“Really, I wasn’t like that… his memory….”

“Bullshit, Stevie, it is the truth.  You have no idea how many times I had to drag him somewhere, to church or just on a night out cleaning up his damn bloody nose or busted up knuckles.  They got the thing right when they said he didn’t like bullies, only issue is he never knew when enough at times was enough.  When to walk away…”

“Just not in my nature, Buck.  Never has.”

“Never will.  All the hail mary’s and whatnot he had to do whenever he walked into the church with some blood on him.”  Bucky ducked knowing Steve would get him back for all of this, but it was just too much fun to pass up.  “I swear Ms. Wheeler must have thought I was beating Steve to death cause every time I would get the look of death from her, like I was going to hell for hurting this poor innocent boy.”

“Ms. Wheeler loved me best,” Steve said with a smile.  “You were the hellion in church.  Always trying to sneak into the back or what about when they found you in the confession booth with.. God what was her name… Susie McKellen.”  Steve tried not to laugh as Bucky started to bury his face in Steve’s shoulder.  “It was the middle of Mass, and all the sudden all you hear is moans coming from one of the booths.  I looked around for Bucky and just knew.”

“I don’t know who got it worse, me, Susie or you.  No wait, you all you got was the pity looks as to how in the world could such a promising, kind, young man who would never hurt a soul, even think to be friends with a devil child like me.”  Bucky said in his best imitation of the pastor.  “Hell I was never one for Church anyway.  I only went so you didn’t have to go alone.”

“You weren’t catholic like Steve there,” Sam laughed as he whipped the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Hell no, well I was I guess at one point but gave up on the whole God thing when I was about eight or nine.  Once I realize I liked guys, and I figured I was going to hell anyway so who cared.  Besides it was that time that I was hanging out with this other kid…”  Bucky turned to Steve and gave him a small smile.  “Remember Anton Sandburg?”

Steve closed his eyes and tried to remember then it hit him.  “Wait wasn’t he the one with the strange parents?  The ones that everyone thought were witches and told us to stay away from?”

Bucky laughed and nodded.  “The very ones.  Guess now they would be called Wiccans, or Asatru.  I hung out there a lot when I wasn’t with you that is.  They taught me a lot.  Guess I found another belief that taught me that it was ok, that it didn’t matter who I loved or wanted to be with.  The God and Goddess would protect and honor me as long as I honored them.”

“You never told me.”  Steve glanced over at Bucky and grabbed a hold of his hand.  “I mean I knew you had been fed up with the church and everything. And I guess I knew that you had your own little practices you did, but I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“Yeah, I mean, I wasn’t hiding it, well I guess I was.  Right along side of liking men.  Hell Anton was my first almost everything.  That is until we got caught and they were forced to move.”

“When was this,” Steve asked turning to look at Bucky.  How had he missed this all those years ago.  He remembered that they had just left the neighborhood one day and nothing was ever mentioned about them again.  He just didn’t know the reason why.  “You’re dad,” Steve said, suddenly remembering a time right before Anton and his family left seeing Bucky all bruised and battered.  Bucky had just said that he had gotten into a little fight the night before as he went to the store and turned down the wrong alley.  Steve had just taken it with a grain of salt, knowing that was not something Bucky would have ever done.  Bucky was always careful at night, always knew which areas to avoid, but Steve just figured Bucky had his reasons.  Now knowing what he knew about Bucky’s father it all made sense.  “He found out didn’t he?”  Steve turned some more so he could look over at Bucky seeing his lover shrug it off like it was nothing.  “Fuck.  Bucky, I know what he used to do.  Lucy… I found her and she told me about it.  If I had known…”

“Nothing you could have done, pal.  Trust me.  Besides the man is dead, it is water under the bridge now.  Not the worse beatings I had in my life, trust me.  But yeah.   He caught us behind a dumpster… and well, the rest they say is history.  I got my ass beat, Anton and family had to leave cause good ol’ pops threatened them.  I gave up on God and the church, started drinking and… well yeah no matter how much of a pain in the ass this guy was,” he said pointing to Steve.  “I never would have made it.”

“You kept me alive more, Buck.  You were there for me more times than I was ever there for you.”  Bucky just leaned over and gave Steve a small light kiss.  “Anyway… So Norse gods huh?”

“They were definitely into the Norse ones.  Me… Hell I don’t know.  I don’t think I ever placed a name to them, just knew that there was a god and a goddess looking out for me in some way.  They understood me where the church didn’t.  I mean I still went for you still did what I could, but… Just wasn’t my thing after that.”  Bucky cleared his throat, knowing that the topic had taken some serious turn and he wasn’t quite ready to share most of it all with anyone, not even Steve.  “Anyway, I think for one I am hungry and maybe I should go and check up on the little one.”

Sam laughed and shook his head as he saw Steve’s eyes go wide.  “I don’t think you really want to try and call her a little one.  She is almost as good a shot as you.”

“We’ll see.”

~~~***~~~***

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always looking for a beta... :)


	17. 3.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth is in the eye of the beholder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH to two wonderful betas. (I need all the help I can get hehe) Any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.

3.4

It wasn't hard for Steve and Bucky to find Skye, as well as May, at the shooting range deep inside the old SSR base.  Steve nodded to May as she turned to them. "Is it ok if we watch?"   The room itself was fairly simple as far as firing ranges went.  To Steve it looked much like the one Stark had set up during the war for the Commandos to practice.  Five long, narrow rows some with boxes set up as obstacles, the targets at the far end of the room.  The targets themselves were at various depths in each row so the one shooting could work to farther distances.

Skye shrugged and continued to line up her shot attempting to block out Steve and Bucky’s presence in the room.  She knew that this was coming, had spoken to her 'father' for a little while when he was in the med bay. Things were crazy, to say the least, and she wasn't quite sure how to feel about it all yet.  Her life had been so much simpler before SHIELD.  However, SHIELD was her family, and she wouldn't change it. "Concentrate.  Do not let anything outside of THIS break your concentration," May's voice came from her left, and Skye closed her eyes to calm her escalating heart rate.  It was one thing to be with May who was harder on her then Ward ever was, but now Skye had to deal with undeniably one of the best snipers known to man around.  She still was unsure just where Bucky stood in her life, where he could be in the grand scheme of things when it came to her.  “There will be times when you will have to maneuver, and think fast on your feet.  Times when your target will be hidden or partly covered…”

“…Or holding a hostage,” Bucky added with a small nod over to May’s direction.  “Sorry," he said with a shrug arms raised slightly.

"Hey I didn't do too bad in Morocco," Skye glanced over at May with a small smile.  May only glared down the range, indicating that she wanted Skye to go again.  "Right.  Practice makes perfect.  Got it."  Skye glanced down the scope, taking in the new additions of boxes and swinging objects to try and obstruct her view.  She lined up her shot, taking count of the time between the swinging rings and fired.  "See? Not so hard."

Bucky glanced over at May with a raised eye-brow.  "May I?"  May gave him a tilt of her head as Bucky got up from his seat near the back wall to come beside Skye.  "First, if I may, how you breathe -- when shooting, especially with a rifle, you want to breath in once you have your target in your sight.  Breathe out, then fire.  Anyway, best way I have found anyway is to shoot when you have no air in your lungs."  Bucky reached over and made a couple minor adjustments to Skye's grip on the rifle.  "You're stance is perfect, legs enough to brace the impact, rifle in the right position so not to take your shoulder out.  Try not to pull the trigger.  Just let your finger roll over the trigger.   It helps with the ability to move the rifle – or gun - at the last second.  Just nice and smooth," Bucky said as he placed his hand over hers on the trigger and moved her finger as he instructed.  "Good.  How did that feel,” he asked after Skye fired a few more rounds into the target.

Skye glanced over with a small smile.  "Better, easier."

"Just minor adjustments can make all the difference in the world.  You can shoot. There is no doubt about that, but one of the main traits of being a sniper is patience: the ability to wait.  Not only for the target, but to make the shot to be YOUR shot."  Bucky reached over, grabbed two targets and placed them one in front of the other -- the front one slightly over to the right like it is being held by the target in the back.  "When you are dealing with a hostage and your target isn't giving you much room for a clear shot, you have to be calm and think.  You never want to hurt a hostage, but there are times that it will be necessary for the greater good."  Bucky retreated behind Skye and gave her a nod to attempt the shot.   "Now in your mind, remove the front target.  Picture the person in the rear.  Height, angle.  Are they bent down slightly so they can be more behind the person they are holding?  Are they right handed or left?"  

Skye closed her eyes, trying to picture it in her mind.  Opening them she took the shot and looked at the targets before her.  "Dammit."

May gave a look of approval as she came up to Skye's right.  "Most of the time, as much as you do not want to hurt the hostage, it is unavoidable.  So you aim for a section that will bring the target down, and minimize the damage to the hostage."

Bucky walked out into the range and made a couple of adjustments to the targets.  Once he felt that it was the best possible set-up, he made his way back to Skye and stood beside her.  "Imagine the hostage as Age- _Director_ Coulson.   You’re just learning, so I made it easier .  Never start off with the hardest ones, you can work your way into those later.  The target won't be able to always stand still behind the hostage.  Most of the time they will want to talk or brag or whatever.  That is one of the best times to take a shot, ‘cause they are no longer directly behind the hostage.  Once you have the target in your mind's eye, where you want to shoot, then bring in the hostage in front.  A right shoulder shot to the hostage will hurt like hell, but it won't kill them, left depending on the area and caliber of weapon, survivable.  A gut wound if treated, is survivable.  Try to avoid anything near their neck.  One wrong move and you can hit the jugular.  Aim for a soft location, then once you have that bring back into view the target.  Best bet is aim for the side with the gun or weapon they have.  More body is exposed.

"Now breathe in, and let it out slowly.  Picture the bullet as it travels.  Imagine its path in your mind.  Once you have that, roll your finger over the trigger before your next breath."  Bucky watched with a keen eye as Skye took her shot, judging her stance, the hold she had on the rifle, anything and everything that could give him an idea on what would need to be worked on.  He could see the bullet's path as it made its way through the first target's arm hitting the one behind it.  "Not a kill shot but the target would be done and the hostage can move.  Great job."

"Thanks," Skye said with a smile.  "I guess it _would_ be in my genes to be able to shoot one of these."

"Nah, just hard work and practice.  You did that all on your own, with some good instructors," Bucky gave May a slight bow of his head in respect.  "It took me a long time to get where I was when I shipped out.  And trust me, some damn good instructors who were willing to guide me."  The three worked on perfecting Skye's shooting in perfect sync with each other, as Steve and Sam watched from the back of the room.  Bucky glanced over at Steve and gave him a small smile.  Steve could see the pride beaming in the other man's face, even if Bucky himself despised the idea that he was teaching his daughter how to kill.  If things had been different, if they were different he would keep her as far away from any of this as possible.  But fate and life had determined that they would risk their own life to save others.  

Two hours later the group headed to grab lunch, allowing Bucky to rest.  "You doing ok?" Steve asked, as he heard Bucky give a sigh of relief once he sat down.  

"Yeah, no worries.  Just this," he said, tapping the prosthesis that Sam had brought him, "isn't the best thing in the world to stand still on for any length of time.  But I'll be alright."

May sat down across from the men and leaned forward slightly.  "There is one thing that is bothering me."

"Thought as much," Bucky answered.  He could tell that May wasn't sure of him, didn't trust him.   As far as Bucky was concerned he was grateful for it.  Beside Natalia, May was another he knew he could trust to take him down, if worse came to worst.  Heaven knows Steve wouldn't be able to do it, as much as Bucky loved and admired the other man.  Steve had already proven that he could let his heart override the need to survive when it came to Bucky.  

"How do we know for sure you are Skye's father,” May asked over Skye's protests.  "We have a man in custody, two actually, who have said that DNA tests prove that the doctor, Cal, is her father.  Yet we saw DNA tests done by Stark that say you are."

Bucky leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair.  "I can't give you an answer.  I don't know.  What I remember from that time isn't the greatest events of my life.  I was out of it, completely insane. Nothing Hydra did was stopping the madness I was experiencing.   Normally it would take weeks or months for me to get to the point I was at, but this time for some reason, it was instant from the moment I woke up from cryo.  There is a lot I still don't understand about what... what I am, or what was done to me.  But I do know, I had no clue what was going on.  Hell for all I know it could be just in my mind, but I know it wasn't.  It was real since I have seen footage, I have read the reports.  Some of the reports written by the very man who is in the building.  I cannot be one hundred percent sure myself, and I am willing to subject myself to whatever tests you guys need for proof, for Skye's sake.  She deserves to know."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Skye asked, glaring at May.  "Maybe I am happy with the thought that I am the daughter of Bucky Barnes, the hero.  It's better than being the daughter of some crazed murderer."  Skye realized what she said and shook her head laughing slightly.  "Ok, so you were a murderer, but still.  That wasn't really your choice.  Plus this guy... this doctor, if the reports I have seen are any indication allowed his WIFE to be a part of damn experiment."

Bucky gently laid a hand on Skye's arm to calm her.  "I think we both need to know."  Turning to look over at May, Bucky nodded.  "Whatever you need."

~~~***~~~***

Skye felt like she was ready to scream.  

She knew that May was trying to protect her, or whatever was going through the older woman's mind.  She had to agree it would be nice to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, but the thought that the monster -- that doctor could be her father sent a chill through her.  Yes, Bucky's past wasn't all sunshine and roses.  He was a killer but the difference in Skye's mind was that Bucky didn't have a choice.  The war and Hydra took that away from him.  The doctor however had a choice.  

Then there was the fact that May had all three sitting around a table in the middle of a locked room.  Bucky sat straight in the chair on one side staring at the doctor not saying a word.  It gave a whole new meaning behind if looks could kill.  "Daisy," the doctor said with a smile when Skye entered the room then froze when Bucky followed right behind.  "What is that thing doing here?"

Skye looked over at the man as she sat down at the far end of the table.  "For one that thing as you say is a man.  A great man, a brave man.  Second, my name is Skye, not Daisy."

"You are Daisy.  Your mother and I named you that.  You have grown up so much.  So much time we have missed," he said while trying to reach across the table to her only to receive a growl from Bucky.  "Didn't Grant tell you?  I have proof.  I am your father.  We can be together again, be a family."   Skye glanced over at Bucky, noticing the clenched hands lying on top of the table.  She could feel the tension rising and briefly wondered if they should have brought Steve in with them as well.  Skye wasn’t sure that she could stop Bucky if he suddenly lost it.  Not that she could blame him, just being in the same room as this monster who called himself her father was enough to get her own nerves up.

May walked into the room and went to Skye taking a small sample of blood, skin, and a swab from the inside of her mouth.  Next she did the same to Bucky then moved to the doctor.  "We'll find out shortly who is telling the truth. Now open up."

"You think I will allow you to do this?  Knowing you people, you will make it look whatever way you want it to.  You will make the tests read what you want it to say.  I know the truth."

 "Open, or I will make you open," May ordered as she grabbed a hold of the doctor's chin and forced his mouth open.  "Three different samples from each, we should be able to tell without a doubt in anyone's mind."

"And maybe find out why there is a DNA test that says he is my father," Skye stated.  

"It is only the truth," he replied as he watched May hand all the items to a lab technician.  "Daisy, there are so many stories I can tell you.  You have your mother's eyes.  Sweet, beautiful, innocent, but with a strength behind it.  Have you found yourself?  Have you reached your full potential as your mother had hoped?"

Bucky's eyes went wide and reached across the table to grab the doctor by the throat.  "What did you do to her?  What damn test did you do?"

Skye went blank wondering what in the world the doctor was talking about.  "What do you mean 'full potential'?"

Once May was able to remove Bucky's hands from the doctor's throat, they all watched as he gave Skye a small smile.  "Your mother was so special, so beautiful.  She was powerful in every way.  You have the obelisk; you can control it.  You have the power to be so much more.  I can show you; I can help you be what you were meant to be." 

Skye knew that she was different. Coulson had hinted that she may be some type of alien or something similar due to the GH325 not having the same effect on her that it did everyone else it was used on.  But now this 'man' was hinting at something more.  Was it because of her mother or was it due to some sort of experiment that they did on her?  Knowing how Hydra had been with Bucky and what had led to the event of her conception, Skye wouldn't put it past them to have messed with her DNA.  "Shut up.  Not another word out of your mouth.  We're here for one thing and one thing only.  Besides, May gets the privilege of interrogating you, and frankly I will make it a point to watch ever painful moment of it.  You make me sick."

“I can show you so much. We can make up for lost time, I promise you.” The doctor continued as if not hearing what she was saying to him.

Bucky slammed his fist on the table wanting to reach over and strangle this man, again. This was one of the men who had made his life a living hell. “Do as the lady said and shut the hell up before I do it for you. That is not something you want, 'cause the way I look at it? You put me through hell. I want to send you on the same trip.” Bucky closed his eyes briefly to try and calm himself, but it was not easy. Just being in the same room as this ass was pushing his limits.  Images of the torture that this man had a part in flashed before Bucky’s eyes.  He gulped down air.  The last thing he needed or wanted was to show Skye just who was the real monster in the room, and Bucky knew that it was he.

Thankfully, it was not long before the door opened and Director Coulson walked into the room with a tablet. “We have the results,” he  announced as he handed Skye the tablet.  “What I would like to know is how you were able to have a test that showed you were Skye’s father.  Did you have a sample of Sergeant Barnes' blood?  Did you have a packet of blood you injected yourself with?  What experiments did you perform on the fetus?  Did you change or manipulate her DNA at any point?”

Skye slid the notepad over to the doctor with a blank look on her face.  “No doubt about it.  You are not only a monster but a flat out liar.  Anything else you want to run past me?  Try to convince me that you are this great person who cares deeply for me?”

Bucky couldn’t hold in his anger any longer, now knowing without a doubt that he was Skye’s father.  Standing he grabbed the doctor by the throat, lifting him up from the chair he was in and slamming him face first onto the table.  Leaning in Bucky placed his mouth right by the doctor’s ear.  “If you did anything to my daughter, if you so much as look at her from this day forward I will rip you apart limb from limb until you are screaming for mercy.  And then I still won’t give you the satisfaction of knowing your death is coming.  I will make you live in pain.  You will BEG me for your death.”

“Bucky,” Skye called out.  “Dad!” She yelled as she moved to place a hand on his shoulder.  “This thing isn’t worth it.  Come on.  Let’s go.  I want to get to know my father better.”

Bucky slowly loosened his grip on the doctor’s neck and let him fall to the ground.  “I promise you.  Remember what I said.”  Bucky turned to face Skye and nodded.  “Come on, let’s get out of here.”  Reaching for his daughter’s hand, the two left the room.

“We’ll get the answers we are looking for.  We always do,” the two heard Coulson state as they closed the door behind them.  

“I think I need a drink,” Skye mumbled as they made their way down the hall.  “Remind me that I shouldn’t put you in the same room alone with Ward.  Think that could be a really bad idea.”  Skye tried not to laugh at the image that played out in her mind of Bucky in the same room with one man who had hurt her the most.  It felt strange to her that now there was someone who could be all the things a father should be.  Well someone besides Coulson, that is. Coulson had filled a father figure roll for her since she had joined SHIELD, but even then it was missing something for her.  She had read the files and reports on Bucky, had always admired him as a person.  Knowing what she knew now about how he had survived the hell he had been subjected to for so many years, Skye could not wait to find out just who her father truly was.

Bucky let out a small laugh as he shook his head.  “I’m a little protective of those close to me.”

“Always has been,” Steve stated as he came up to the pair.  “He has this issue with people hurting those he loves and well… yeah.  But despite all that, we still love him.”

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”  Steve laid his hand on Bucky’s so he could get Bucky’s attention.  “You guys ok?”

“Yeah.  Just… if I ever see him again, I don’t think anything will stop me from ripping his head clean off.”  Bucky murmured.  It was time to try forget the past and try and get to know his daughter.

~~~***~~~***

 


	18. 3.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Sorry for the LONG wait on this, and how short it is. … My mind has been on future parts of this story. Between gathering information/research and just the whole ‘how the hell do I get to where I want to go…’ bs… Once again Sorry and thank you all for your continued support. <3 you all.

** ~~~***~~~*** **

** 3.5 **

Steve stood outside of the 'operating room' deep in the heart of the old SSR compound.  Tony had contacted them the day before stating that he had just completed his 'masterpiece' and was ready to make Bucky whole again.  Steve could only roll his eyes. It didn't matter to him if Bucky was missing more than just an arm or leg, he would always be _whole_. He would always be the best thing that had happened in Steve's life. Today was simply all the preliminaries; blood work and explanations. Steve was waiting on one of the doctors who would help with the actual attachment of the cybernetic leg. 

Tony and Bruce who had both made it to the base were at a small computer at the far end of the room.  Steve remembered the last time he had been in this room, the long three days when they had found Bucky.  He had almost the same feeling now as he did then.  Steve hated the constant waiting.  

Steve had seen some of the documents on how the arm was attached and he could only cringe at the pain Bucky had gone through.  There was no way that Steve would miss being inside the operating room when they did the work but Steve knew that for himself it would not be easy to watch.   

On another note, Steve knew that time was limited.  He could already feel the beginning stages of his heat coming on.  The cramps were just starting, and Steve could feel the a slight fever starting.  Luckily for Steve the more obvious signs had not made their appearance yet – the shortness of breath, the wetness, the need, but Steve knew it would not be much longer before he was at the point of no return.  They had talked about what they would do, since Steve didn't feel right being in the SHIELD compound when it occurred.  It wasn't that he was ashamed, far from it.  Just with all the mess that had happened with SHIELD/Hydra and this being their first REAL one, Steve wanted it to be just between the two of them. 

Steve tried not to laugh as he shook his head.  Their first real heat.  Steve felt that it was true, no matter how strange it was.  No it was not the first heat they had been through together, but this time would be different.  During the war, they had to be quiet, and it was rushed in a way due to the commitments that they had.  Neither one at the time had a clue what was going on, and it just didn’t feel real no matter what the outcome had been.  His last heat, Steve wasn’t even sure he could call it a heat.  The medication that Hydra and SHIELD had given him had almost killed him.  To him, it was more of a way for them to try and get things back on track.  Back to the way thing were supposed to be.  

Finally Steve felt that they could be together without anyone saying anything, without any limitations or obligations.  This time there was nothing to stand in their way.  

Bucky had mentioned that he had a place that they could go to, and Steve was excited for the chance to be able to spend time with Bucky away from everything and everyone for a little while.  Bucky had planned a full week for just the two of them.  Tony had mentioned getting the gang together, so Steve was grateful that he would have the chance to spend a week alone with Bucky beforehand.  Steve was excited to see the rest of the Avengers, but he and Bucky had been apart for so long. Some time together, just the two of them, would be perfect.

Once the doctor arrived, Steve lead her into the room and moved over to sit beside Bucky on the bed.  Tony came up beside the new arrival and started introductions.  "Barnes, this is Doctor Katrina Wise.  Kat this is Barnes and you know Bruce and Steve?" 

"It is a pleasure.  I want to say that I will do my best to help make sure that this whole process is as painless as we can make it."  She gave them all a small smile, as she set her bag on one of the tables.  "I am not sure how much Stark and Doctor Banner have explained to you, but I am here to answer whatever questions you may have." 

Bruce leaned forward in the chair he was sitting on, his hands clasped in front of him.  "From all the documents we were able to find on your arm, we have determined that the best thing is to follow the same idea on the attachment.  We will be using most of your own nerves, muscles, bones, whatever we can.  The plan is to allow you the same movement and abilities with the leg that you have with your arm." 

"We believe the best and most stable option is to have at least part of the lower leg remain as well as the knee and then we will complete attachment just above the knee.  We would rather do that then the whole leg.  You have enough of the needed muscle and nerves in the upper leg undamaged by the poison you were injected with I don’t see the need to have any added connections then necessary," Kat explained. The three continued to explain everything from how much they were going to have to remove, to how they planned to attach the prosthesis.  It took three hours to go over everything, answering every question and making Steve feel a little better about the whole procedure.  He still wasn't sure what he felt about the thought of them taking more of Bucky's leg, or the knowledge that they would be connecting more machines and electronics to the nerves within him.  Knowing that they would be keeping part of the bone under the metal was like the old science fiction novels that Bucky had loved so much as they were growing up.   

Once they had gone over everything and finished the blood work, Steve and Bucky went to grab a bite to eat.  They both knew that this would be the last food Bucky would have to have until the surgery in the morning, so Steve planned to make sure that he had the amount of carbs and everything he would need. 

Luckily the room was near empty being late afternoon and still a little early for the dinner rush.  If one thing the blood work had revealed to Steve was that Bucky was much like him in the need for more food than a normal person.  Bucky’s cells worked almost the same as Steve’s own.  Both had a metabolism that burned faster than normal, regenerating cells faster.  The last thing Steve wanted was any possible complications with healing for Bucky due to not enough food in his system to last the twelve hours before the surgery.  

With plates piled high, the two men sat down at one of the tables next to Bruce.  The discussion flowed from various topics smoothly and freely.  It was the most Steve had ever heard Bruce talk.  Bucky raised his hand slightly to forestall what Bruce was about to say.  "I know you are worried about this mess, and the whole anesthesia bit, but trust me.  None will be needed." 

Bruce nodded slowly, not exactly sure how to respond.  "I heard about what happened there," Bruce mentioned acknowledging the removal of Bucky's leg.  Bruce still could not believe anyone being able to just sit there and not even flinch as a limb was removed, but from everything he had read about what Hydra did to Bucky nothing much surprised him.  "That does bring up a question I have.  Is it just that you have a high tolerance for pain or is it something they did?" 

Bucky glanced down at the food before him, trying not to pick at it and actually eat some.  "In parts maybe both.  As I'm sure you have an idea how all this," he said pointing to his head.  "works.  Memory, especially long term memory takes up a certain section of the brain.  They couldn't destroy anything for fear of it, I don't know, effecting something else.  Like pain.  Since I still needed to be able to feel pressure and such, they could dampen in a way a part of it, but not all of it.  What remained, they taught me how to handle.  Memory was a little trickier.  They wanted to make sure I didn't have my memories from before them, but yet I still needed to know and remember certain things.  That was what the wipes did, if I understand it right.  It didn't so much as remove memories as more like the electric charge helped reroute some of the stuff around.  Parts they didn't want me to remember went behind this block they put in, others to a different spot. 

"I don't know where Zola learned about the brain, but they didn't so much as remove anything as placed blocks in certain parts of my brain with scar tissue or whatever they did, and rewire my brain.  Increasing the area for language recognition, speed, reflexes and sort of making those a higher priority than, say, pain."  Bucky stabbed his fork into the food in front of him and shook his head.  "I still don't know exactly what they did, or how I can now access those parts they blocked out.  It isn't like I have access to an MRI or C-Scan.  I just know from everything I read, my brain will not look normal.  It's been completely rewired.  At least, that's what the notes I found explain." 

Bruce nodded as he slowly picked at his salad in front of him.  “I read a couple of papers and research about something similar by Doctor Ivchenko.  He was captured by the SSR back in the late 40s, but he had a great deal of research on the human mind.”

Bucky closed his eyes briefly, trying to figure out how he knew that person.  “He could hypnotize people, right?”  After getting a confirming nod from Bruce, Bucky shook his head.  “He was imprisoned with Zola. I knew him.  He didn’t go by Ivchenko, with Hydra he went under the name of Fennhoff.  Zola from what I found, learned a lot about everything from him.  Even had him assist with my design.”

Steve could only close his eyes to try and control the sudden rage that surged up through him.  Every once in a while Bucky would refer to himself as a thing, as a monster, or as something other than a person.  Steve once again wanted to destroy each and every one that had anything to do with Hydra.  “And SHIELD put them together,” shaking his head, Steve let out a deep breath.

“It’s done and over with, Stevie.  No point in getting upset in things that are in the past.”  Bucky reached over and placed his hand on top of Steve’s.  “Trust me, if anyone knows that it is me.  There is nothing that we can do about what happened, it’s done and over with and if nothing else it got us here.  Hydra will have their day.”

Bruce let out a deep breath, not sure what to say or do with any of the information.  He could tell already that Barnes was pretending to be ok with everything, but he was hiding it well.  Unless someone was actively looking, it was impossible couldn’t tell.  But Bruce has had a great deal of experience with anger. He could spot the signs.  “Anyway,” Bruce began, changing the subject.  “We figure the whole procedure should take a couple of hours. The hardest part will be the connections to what is already there. Both flesh and bone and... Everything else.”

Bucky nodded as he took a drink of his coffee, thinking to how everything was connected within him.  Hydra had made a mess of more than just his mind, connecting the metal of his arm in a way that he would forever be with it.  There would never be a safe way to remove it.  Bucky had come to terms with it, and was in part grateful for it even if it was a constant reminder of what he was now.  If he didn’t have this metal arm he wasn’t sure he would function.  Granted the sensible part of his mind told him that he would have been able to adjust and function just fine if he had been given the chance, but knowing he could still do everything made Bucky feel grateful.  “I trust you guys, or at least Steve trusts you, so I know you guys will have no problems.  From what I understand if anyone can do it, you can.”

Bruce gave Bucky a small smile and blushed slightly.  “This is far beyond my expertise but... We’ll get it and with a lot less…extra stuff that Hydra did for your arm.”

Bucky gave Bruce a small smile and a shrug.  “As long as I can still sneak through metal detectors, I’m good with whatever.”

~~~***~~~***

For Steve, if felt like getting ready for the surgery took weeks, when in reality, it only took a couple of days.  Between the pre-op tests, to the prep work on the remaining limb, and the actual surgery to attach the new leg, Steve was about to lose his mind. That was not counting all the work after they had finally attached the metal limb to Bucky, which felt like another lifetime.  Steve was looking forward to getting away with Bucky.  Bucky hadn’t mentioned where they would be going except that he had a house in the middle of nowhere that they could just relax and do nothing.  

Surprisingly everything had gone well.  Within a day Bucky was up and moving around, passing all of the tests that were laid in front of him. It of course didn't stop Steve from worrying about his mate.  Not once did Bucky complain, not once did he let anyone know of any discomfort or irritation as both men craved just being alone.  Steve had told Tony that the one week would stretch into two.  Besides the heat, he wanted just some time with Bucky.  It had been a long time since they had been able to just sit and enjoy life without the threat of death and destruction around them.  Hell, if Steve really thought about it the last time they even went to a movie or just walked around was back before the war.  So many years had passed since they went to war, since they had not had to worry about anything but enjoying the sights and sounds surrounding them.  The last time had been the fair the night Bucky shipped out.  They had missed out of so much that he felt they just needed some _me_ time, or at least _us_ time. 

Bruce had left to take care of some items himself before he headed to New York, some research he said he had to pick up.  Tony was only waiting on the final results of the tests from that morning before he himself would be heading out.  “What’s the verdict doc?” Bucky asked as he sat on the edge of the bed in the small Med bay.  

Katrina glanced up from the tablet and handed it over to Tony for review.  “From everything I can see, everything is healed as it should.  You have full function and mobility…blood work and all tests appear normal.”  Shaking her head in amazement, Katrina could only give Bucky and Steve a small smile.  “I would say you are 100% cleared.  I just want to say first that it has been an honor for me.  The work here can go a long way in helping so many other people in the future.  Granted certain things will have to be adjusted but… this is a huge step to helping other soldiers and others who have lost a limb.  I am just so grateful to have been a part of it all.”

“If in the end Hydra’s crap can actually help people I’m willing to do what I can.  Too many people have been hurt by those people it is time that good comes out of it all.”  Bucky stole a glance at Steve and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “You ready?”

Steve nodded and the two men began to walk toward their room.  “I told Tony two weeks so...”

“Pack up our shit, I’m gonna stop in and see Skye real quick.  Then we will be on our way.”

Steve paused in the hallway and turned to Bucky.  “You won't tell me where we are going, but how are we going to get there?” 

Bucky just gave Steve a large grin and laughed.  “Steve, don’t ask questions you really don’t want the answer to.”  Bucky pulled Steve into his arms and placed a light kiss on his lips.  “It’s a surprise.  You never did do surprises well.”  Bucky continued down the hall toward Skye’s room laughing the whole way.  “Trust me, you’ll love it.”

Steve could only shake his head, not sure what Bucky had planned.  However, it really didn’t matter to Steve.  They would have two full weeks of just the two of them for the first time in nearly 70 years.  Steve planned to make the most out of it before the real world came crashing down on them.    

~~~***~~~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next:  
> Pure smut…..


	19. 3.6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Four,” Bucky interrupted with a small smile creeping across his face.  “You slept a day remember.”
> 
> “Fine four days and all I have seen is the bedroom and bathroom.  I’m sure there is more to this place than that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This part is unbeated.... figured I'd post (ducking) so all mistakes are mine...  
> Warning… Cute Stucky moments and yes some smut….

~~~***~~~***

3.6

Steve slowly stretched then turned to burrow further into the bed.  He felt almost like he was in the story he remembered his mother reading to him when he was young.  How the young girl went into this cabin in the woods and tested each bowl of porridge, tested each chair and bed.  Steve felt like he had  just found the bed that was just right.  He felt safe and secure, loved and cared for.  Steve for the first time in longer than he could remember he felt at peace. He knew he would give up everything for this feeling to stay.

Before Steve could close his eyes again and sleep, the door slide open and Steve was filled with the smell of food and coffee.  “I know you're awake,” came the voice as Steve felt the bed sink a little beside him.  “Stevie... Wakey, wakey.”  Steve felt the blankets start to be removed from around him and the gentle pressure of lips on his neck.  “Stevie…. Come on, you need to eat.”  

Slowly as if he was a caterpillar coming out of the cocoon, Steve sat up to lean against the headboard.  “You are evil, you know that right?  Here I was sound asleep after you wore me out…”

“Please,” Bucky rolled his eyes.  “You slept a full damn day, Stevie.  Think it is time to eat, return to the world of the living.  Besides I was there remember… three days…”

Steve glared at Bucky as he reached over to pick up the mug of coffee enjoying the hot aroma that filtered up from the cup.  “Not that either of us is complaining, mind you.”  Bucky could only smile as he made his way to the head of the bed to relax by Steve.  Steve glanced around the room taking in the soft gray color of the walls, the large picture windows with the sunlight streaming in, the black almost silk-like covers over the bed.  To his right was the door leading to the large master bath which they had spent some time in during the past three days.  Steve remembered the large walk in shower with the ability to spray water from the sides to cover your whole body instead of a simple nozzle above them.   Granted Steve had to admit he was a little in love with the large whirlpool Jacuzzi like bathtub that was large enough for the both of them.  Reaching down to the large tray Bucky had brought in, Steve grabbed himself a fresh pancake.  “So you gonna tell me finally where we are at?”

Bucky leaned over slightly to place a light kiss on Steve’s lips.  Pulling back, Bucky shrugged rolling his lower lip into his mouth.  “I guess you can say this is our house.”

Steve set his mug down to stare at Bucky in disbelief.  “I don’t remember getting a house, Buck.”  He had always dreamed of having a place for them, well besides the small cramped apartment they had shared a life time ago.  “How? When?”

Bucky leaned back more against the headboard and reached down for his own cup of coffee.  “Fuck it must have been… ’73 if memory serves me right.”  Bucky’s eyes went distant as he remembered the mission he had been sent on.  “They had ordered me to kill this senator but the only problem was that they weren’t sure exactly where he was.  So they sent me to Vegas to try and get close to one of his friends.  Jacobson… Roger Jacobson.”

Steve turned to look at Bucky, his mouth hanging open.  “He was a part of the 107th.”

“Yeah.  Of course I didn’t know that then… don’t think Hydra knew that I had known him before or they thought it didn’t matter.”  Bucky stood and made his way over to the large window to open the curtain more.  “I guess after the war he had made a name for himself there in Vegas, made a shit load of money, one of the ones who practically ruled the area.  I remember he told me once that I looked like someone he knew before.  I didn’t think anything of it of course, but I do recall him telling me once that he had a feeling I was being used against my will.  That if I ever got free, if I ever wanted a change of pace to see this one guy.  I filed it away, had a little hideout I wrote it down on knowing I wouldn’t remember it.  Hydra wouldn’t allow me to.

“I always knew I guess in the back of my mind that one day Hydra would fall or at least they wouldn’t need me anymore and I had a bunch of hideouts around the world.  Tiny little bunkers with the necessities, food, medical supplies, weapons.  At a couple I would make sure I wrote down the locations of my hideouts.  This way if Hydra fell or was compromised I had a place to hide out, regroup.”  Bucky leaned against the windowsill and stared out at the wide open range that surrounded the house.  “In one I have by Vegas, it had the name of the man he wanted me to see.  So after DC and after I found this hideout again, I went to see him, this attorney.  I guess Jacobson had built this place, his shelter in case of World War Three or hell who knows, and had it in the name I had used during that mission.”

Steve slid out from under the comforter and walked over to Bucky.  Pulling the older man into his arms, Steve only held him.  “What happened?  With the mission I mean.”

Bucky ran his hands down Steve’s back and let out a deep breath.  “Found the target at his place in Texas.  Then I vanished, or at least tried.  His words were running through my mind as I went off the grid.  Took a train to Chicago then a bus to New York.”  Leaning back from Steve he gently ran his hand across the other man’s face.  “Took them a while but they hunted me down, took me back.  After that they made sure I didn’t spend so long out of Cryo, they changed the whole mind-wipe system, kept me out of the states as much as possible.”  Bucky moved out of Steve’s arms and gave the younger man a small smile.  “But that is in the past…We have a whole future to get to.  Want to check out the rest of the house?”

Steve wanted to try and get Bucky to open up some more about his time with Hydra, feeling that if Bucky kept it all inside it would one day just explode to the surface.  But maybe now wasn’t the time, he thought.  Maybe it just hadn’t been enough time and Bucky still needed to come to terms with things on his own.  God knows Steve had felt lost when he first woke in this new time.  Best thing he could do, he felt was just be there and listen when Bucky was ready to talk.  “Let me throw on some pants first, then we finish breakfast,” Steve walked over to the large dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants.  “Then you can show me this place.  I mean we have been here three…”

“Four,” Bucky interrupted with a small smile creeping across his face.  “You slept a day remember.”

“Fine four days and all I have seen is the bedroom and bathroom.  I’m sure there is more to this place than that.”

Bucky pulled Steve back down to the bed and handed the man his coffee cup.  “Well those are the two most important places to see.”  Bucky tried to get out of the way when Steve slapped his arm, but failing miserably.  “Ouch.  Damn Punk… Just for that….”

Steve shoved a piece of pancake into Bucky mouth with a large grin on his lips.  “Just eat then we will check out the rest of this house.”

~~~***~~~***

Steve could only look in awe as Bucky lead him through the house built into a mountain hidden into the Sierra mountains.  On the highest level was the hanger for the QuinJet that he didn’t even want to know how in the world Bucky had gotten a hold of.  The main part of the house was two level spacious place with large open windows to overlook a small lake farther down the mountain, a mixture of wood and rock throughout the entire place.  The living room had floor to ceiling windows giving the living room, hard dark wooden floors.  The walls were made from the mountain surrounding it.  Steve made his way out to the large patio to look out at the beautiful scene before him.  It was late spring and the trees were flush and blowing in the light breeze.  

The kitchen was huge, far bigger than any other kitchen Steve had ever seen.  Light marble countertops, top of the line appliances and a center bar lead out to the large dining room.  Everywhere Steve looks he felt like he was in a dream, no way anyone could have a house this beautiful.  The basement level was a pool table and large screen for movies, with plush chairs surrounding it.  Off to the side Steve glanced through a door that lead to a large wine cellar filled with not only wine but various other brews, some even older then he himself was.  The other side of the game room was a pool that was open to the outside: white solid rock allowing some sunlight to reflect gently off of the water.  “Bucky… This place is …”

“A bit much, but I think I can get used to it,” he responded reaching out to take a hold of Steve’s hand.  “One more room.”  Slowly the two men made their way up the stairwells to the upper level.  One of the rooms down from the large bedroom sat a wide open area.  Much like the living room, it had floor to ceiling widows allowing most of the sun in.  In one corner sat a small easel and drawing table with all the supplies Steve would need.  “Late at night, I stand here sometimes and just look out.  The stars…It’s like they are everywhere here-- so damn clear and bright.  But during the day the sun will light this place up.  Figured… you know… maybe you could use this as your studio or something.”

Steve slowly walked from the widow he had been staring out of to make his way over to Bucky.  His hand went up to thread his fingers through Bucky’s hair as he leaned in for a light kiss.   “I love you, you know that right?”  Before Steve could pull away any further, Bucky reached out and pulled Steve closer to deepen the kiss.  Steve pulled away and smiled, “Geeze , Buck, haven’t you had enough yet?”

Bucky leaned his head against Steve’s shoulder and let out a deep sigh.  “Steve, we have 70 years to make up for… I just… it had been so long since I’ve felt anything…”

Steve pulled Bucky deeper into his arms and laid a kiss on the older man’s temple.  “I know what you mean.  And trust me, I’m not complaining not in the slightest.  I love you, Buck.  And I feel the same way.”  Not for the first time, and certainly won’t be the last, Steve wished he could just erase all the bad that had been done to Bucky over the years, to just change it all, but he was smart enough to know that it could never happen.  Bucky was there today because of all those years of pain and suffering, because of Hydra.  No matter how much Steve hated Hydra he was grateful for this one thing.  Turning toward the door, Steve looked over his shoulder with a smile.  “There was a pool here wasn’t there?”

Bucky reached over and pulled Steve along as they made their way down toward the lower levels.   Once back downstairs, Bucky pulled two towels and set them down on the small ledge leading into the pull and pulled off his silk pants.   Stepping into the warmed water he held his hand out for Steve to enter.  “Water’s a hell of a lot warmer than the crap we used to swim in in Brooklyn.  A lot cleaner too, I might add.”

Steve took off his sweatpants and dove into the pool, enjoying the warm water gliding across his body. Upon surfacing, Steve swam over to the edge and stole a glance out of the opening to the outside.  “How is it that nothing is coming in, doesn’t look like there is any glass,” he stated as he reached out trying to see what was there.

Bucky began to do some laps, allowing the warm water to relieve some of the tightness in his shoulders and legs.  “This whole place is surrounded by an energy field of sorts.  No one will be able to spot this place from air or land.  It keeps any unwanted things from coming in.  Luckily the grounds are kept up pretty well so only once in a while will some crap comes in… well that and a hell of a good filtration system.”  Bucky came up behind Steve and wrapped his arms around the young man’s waist.  “The only way in here is either plane as you saw, or through the secret entrance.”  Catching Steve’s raised eye brow, Bucky could only smile.  “Our dear friend, as I said was a little paranoid.  There is a small cabin on the other side of the mountain where the cars are parked.  From there a small secret entrance into a tunnel that leads here.   That’s where mail goes to, where I would leave the cars and bikes… best way to go out and about.  This place… it’s safe.  Here, I guess you can say I feel comfortable, secure.  Hydra nor SHIELD would be able to find this place.”

Steve turned around in Bucky’s arms and rested his head against the others.  Letting out a deep breath, he gave Bucky a small grin.  “And I just bet you did a lot of extra work adding to the security of this place.”  Seeing Bucky shrug, Steve laughed.  “You are something else, you know that right?”

Bucky leaned in and gave Steve a kiss and a smile.  “Someone has to watch your back, God knows you don’t.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”  Bucky leaned back so he could look Steve in the eye and shook his head.  “You get into more trouble than anyone I know.  You always have.”

Steve tried to look insulted as he reached up and pushed Bucky under the water.  “I get in trouble?”

Bucky came back to the surface and shook the water out of his hair.  “Oh you asked for it now, Punk.”  Then the fight was on, two grown men splashing each other and chasing each other around the pool like they were still two young boys back in Brooklyn.  Steve couldn’t help but feel his heart swell a little more just realizing that no matter what had changed in the world, how different it was from when he was growing up that some things never changed.  He was so thankful that this wasn’t one of them.

~~~***~~~***

It was a few hours later Steve laid down on the plush rug by the fireplace just enjoying watching the sky change from daylight to night.  It was just as magical as Bucky had mentioned as one by one the stars began to slowly emerge in the sky bright and beautiful.  Sounds of wildlife that lived in these mountains began to filter through the open window.  It had been a long time, even by his time reference, since he had felt calm and at peace.  His whole life he had had to fight for things: fight to breathe, fight to survive, fight for what is right.  His mother had always been a calming presence  for both of her ‘boys’.  There had been many days when it was just Bucky and him in their small apartment in which Steve felt on top of the world, that nothing would ever be bad again.  

Standing and making his way over to the window, Steve could only lean against the window sill and release a nice deep breath feeling the last bit of tension fly out with the breeze.  Since he woke up in the future, hell Steve could say since he arrived in Italy with the USO show, Steve hadn’t had much to feel peaceful over.  Only the few short moments he and Bucky had before that fateful day in the Alps.  Since he awoke in this time he had felt lost, so out of his realm, so unable to understand the things around him that Steve had pushed himself to keep busy.  Steve never allowed himself a chance to stop and just think, to try and come to terms with what he didn’t have in this time.  It wasn’t really until he stripped off the mask and saw Bucky did it all come crashing in on him.  Then it was still keep busy in trying to find Bucky that he wouldn’t allow himself to rest until Bucky was back with him.  Now looking out at the night sky, warm fire in the fire place to ease the chill of the night air, he felt free.  Steve didn’t want to close the window for he was enjoying the sounds that filtering through.  

Bucky silently stepped into the room and leaned against the wall just watching Steve.  He could tell that Steve was a peace, his whole body at ease.  Bucky had always known he loved Steve, well as long as he could really remember he had been in love with the short little blonde who always stood up for the little guy.  When Bucky had first seen the ‘new’ Steve, he felt that FINALLY his body matched his heart and sole.  Finally Steve could do whatever he wanted and not worry about anything.  Did he like that Steve was there in the war with him, hell no, but Bucky knew that once Steve got there and proved to everyone who doubted him that he would not back down.  Steve would do what he felt was right, Bucky just had to make sure that Steve didn’t let him heart get the best of him and get the younger man killed.  Steve fought like nothing Bucky had seen, it was like a beautiful dance, stunning and fluent.  Bucky knew it would take a lot to take Steve out, but that didn’t stop him from stepping in like he had done when they were kids and try to reason with Steve.  

But now, seeing Steve standing by the widow, the light from the night sky and mood along with the gentle flame dancing off his golden hair and tanned skin, Bucky fell even more in love with Steve.  No doubt the man was a damn Roman God in features, but with the sense of peace that Steve was givng off in waves at that moment it was like he was the damn sun lighting the whole world around him.  Bucky could feel it deep in his soul from the bond they shared, filtering down through the tendrils to anchor him to the here and now.   Why should he worry about the past, about what he could not change?  Bucky knew he had done some really bad shit when he was with Hydra and the Red Room/Department X, but at that moment none of that matter for he was loved by the greatest man on the planet.  He couldn’t be all bad if Steve Rogers loved him, right?

Walking over to the window, Bucky handed Steve a glass then opened a bottle of one of the best bottles of Scotch he had found in the cellar.  “I think the last time I really got to see stars like this was one of those damn forests in what was it… Germany I think.”

Steve took the glass from Bucky in one hand and wrapped his arm around Bucky’s shoulders.  “I don’t think even then it was like this.  We still had all the bombs and everything going off around us.  This… Damn Buck, I don’t even know how or what I’m feeling right now.  It’s almost like nothing else matters but this.”

Bucky smiled at Steve and grabbed a hold of Steve hand and lead him back over toward the fire.  “We’ve been at war so long, both of us.  Longer than anyone should ever be at war.  I mean, it’s been what… seventy plus years since either of us have had a chance to catch our breaths?  Do we even know how to let it all go, to relax anymore?  Hell did we ever?”  Bucky set his glass down on the ground and guided Steve to lay on his stomach on the plush carpet.  “Maybe this is why we both survived, maybe this is why we had to go through all that shit so we could be here for each other.  Ground each other in a way that no one else would be able to.”  With firm hands, Bucky started to dig into the muscles of Steve’s shoulders and neck, carefully easing the last of the tension out of him.  “At times I look around, you know, wondering if I will wake up one day and this …all this shit the past seventy years will be a dream.  Some damn nightmare.  That we will be back in those trenches deep in France or Germany or some other God forsaken place.  That we’d all be sitting by a small fire to stay warm, Dum Dum passing around his small flask with who the hell knows what, Gabe and Dernier will be huddled together telling each other some crazy story in French laughing their asses off.  Falsworth tinkering with some crap or another we found at one of the bases and Morita leaning back smoking a cig trying to make the perfect smoke ring.”  Bucky heard Steve huff a small laugh, eyes closed and relaxing with each word that spilled forth from Bucky’s lips.  “It was hell, no damn doubt about it but man… when it was just us, this little rag-tag group of misfits… those were the days.”

“Yeah it was… ouch,” Steve quietly cringed as Bucky started to work on a spot on his lower back which he didn’t even realize was tight.  “What do you remember?  I mean…”

“How much do I remember,” Bucky let out a small sigh, feeling the tight muscle he had been working on slowly ease and loosen beneath his hands.  “I don’t know.  I mean, how do I know if I remember something or not if I don’t… well remember.  I know there are gaps, some areas that when I try to think of what I was doing during a certain time that come up completely blank.  Now how much I remember or don’t remember, I don’t know.  Hell I don’t even know if I will ever get everything back or if I am at my limit.”  Bucky leaned down and placed a kiss on the back of Steve’s neck.  “Then I think, what does it matter.  I’m here in the damn future.  You’re here, and we’re together.  I found out I had a kid,  What more really matters?  Just because I may not remember what I had for lunch or whatever fifty years ago… it just doesn’t matter.  I can’t dwell on what I may or may not remember, I’ll just go insane.”  Bucky continued to place gentle kisses on Steve’s neck, slowly moving down his back as he glided his hands up and down Steve’s sides.  “All I know and care about is we’re here, now… who the fuck cares about the rest of it?”

Steve wanted to try and get Bucky to talk about it, about what had happened to him.  He wanted to try and get it out in the open, feeling that maybe not talking about it would in the end be very bad for them both, but Bucky was doing a damn good job at distracting him.  Steve shifted slightly trying to ease some of the pressure that was beginning to build between his legs.  He was so relaxed that he felt hyper sensitive to every touch, every kiss, every brush of Bucky’s long hair against his skin sent shockwaves through him.  Closing his eyes, Steve lifted his hips to allow Bucky to remove his sweatpants as he felt Bucky’s tongue glide down his spine to dip in the small V at the waistband.  Once freed of his sweatpants, Steve let out a long sigh just enjoying the feel of Bucky’s hands gliding across his skin.  Steve felt Bucky squeeze his cheeks, then a light bite which almost caused him to jump up.  “Hey!”

Bucky laughed a little as he leaned in and began to kiss and lick around Steve’s hole, knowing that Steve would at least put that little bite out of his mind for a while.  Taking his time, Bucky began to open Steve up, using his tongue and fingers, making sure that Steve would be ready for him.  Since Steve’s heat was over, Bucky knew that the natural lubrication that Steve got would not be there and the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Steve again.  Bucky lightly brushed his finger over Steve’s prostate, wanting to give Steve all the pleasure he deserves.  Grabbing a pillow off of one of the couches, Bucky lifted Steve’s hips slightly and placed it under him.  “Steve, I love you so damn much.  You know that right?  I always have.  I want you to have everything you want.  I want to do right by you,” Bucky breathed out between kisses as he moved his body fully over Steve.  “I fucking love you.”  

“Bucky…” Steve breathed out as Bucky began to enter him.  Steve loved the feeling that Bucky always gave him deep down to his very soul.  They were connected in more ways than just body, their very souls screams and celebrated.  Each time Bucky pushed in, the brush against his prostate sent jolts of lightning through his whole being.  The fullness he felt was more than just the physical connection, and even though that was great, to Steve the connection and the fullness he felt in his heart was what made it a million times better.  He felt complete, safe, loved, a part of something magical.  “More… Bucky… Please.  I love you…. More,” he was able to get out between moans and deep sighs.  Steve never wanted this feeling to end, never wanted to be a part from Bucky.  Their connection was what he had been missing for so long and now that they were back together, Steve was never going to let it go.  Pressure started to build as Bucky continued to slide his cock in and out of Steve, going deeper each time.  Light kisses and bites across his neck, cheek and lips.  Steve moved one hand down to his own cock, but had it pushed away by Bucky almost making Steve cry out.  

Bucky leaned back so that he was sitting on his feet and pulled Steve up to a sitting position.  “Oh fuck,” Steve cried out as Bucky went deeper.  Bucky wrapped his hand around Steve’s own cock and started to stroke him in time with each thrust, lifting Steve up and down on his lap hard.  “Bucky… I’m… Oh fuck…”  Steve couldn’t breathe, his whole body felt alive and like he had an electrical current running through is veins.  Closing his eyes Steve felt himself tighten around Bucky as he let go, shooting his seed all over Bucky’s hand and the carpet.  It didn’t take long after for Bucky to follow behind, filling Steve with his own seed.  Turning his head, Steve pulled Bucky’s lips to his own and the two still connected swapped lazy kisses.  “I love you, Buck.”

“Love you too, Stevie.  Always and forever.”

 

~~~***~~~***

Steve held on to Bucky, not wanting to let go as the two stood outside the Quinjet in the middle of nowhere.  Two weeks was up and they had to get back to the real world, but Steve wasn’t sure if he was ready yet.  It seemed like time went far too quickly and even though Steve knew that they would see each other soon, he just didn’t want to leave, didn’t want it to end.  “So this meeting with the gang shouldn’t take too long, then I’ll meet up with you and Skye wherever.”

Bucky planted a butterfly kiss on Steve’s neck and laughed slightly.  “Steve, take your time.  We have all our lives now.  You haven’t been with the whole gang in a long time... just enjoy it and once you’re done we’ll figure out where we will go from there.”

“It’s just that…. I don’t know…”  Steve wasn’t sure what he was feeling except there was a part of him that was telling him to NOT leave Bucky, to stay there with the man.  He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that the best place for him right now was in Bucky’s arms.  “But you’re right.  A few days, week or so most… it’ll be fun.”

Bucky reached his left hand up and ran his fingers through Steve’s hair.  “Exactly.  You’ll have a great time with the crew, I’ll spend some time with Skye and we’ll see each other before you know it.  Things are gonna be ok, Stevie.  I promise.  I mean… it’s not like the world stopped while we were away.  We’ll be there for each other but we can’t forget the others either.”

Steve planted a kiss on Bucky’s lips and stepped back.  Heading toward one of the motorcycles Bucky had there, Steve climbed on.  “Right.  I’ll see you soon.  I mean… what could have gone wrong in two weeks.  Everything will be fine and then I’m taking you out to dinner.”

“It’s a date.”  Bucky hopped on the other motorcycle and the two men drove off to their respective destinations.  Bucky could only shake his head, he had a feeling something was not right and he knew Steve felt it too.  But Steve was right… what could happen in two weeks?

 

~~~***~~~***

Bucky and Steve’s House…..

          

Steve’s Art room                                                                              Living room

 

~~~***~~~***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up…. Arriving back into the land of the living after two weeks our boys get some rude awakenings on all fronts.  (Hints to Age of Ultron and Agents of SHIELD season 2)


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve  
> immediately felt the loss when he and Bucky left each other to go their  
> separate ways.  No matter what he thought, Steve knew that they would only be  
> apart for a short while.  He enjoyed the feel of the wind gliding across his  
> skin as he made his way toward New York.  From what Tony had told him, they had  
> a small mission to do before any party could happen.  No matter how much he  
> enjoyed being around the others, Steve wasn’t quite ready to see Bucky go off  
> on his own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note  I know it has been FOREVER since I have touched this story, muse really hadn’t left me but what it was telling me would NOT fit into this story at all.  So had started another story, [Save Today](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5305223).  Have not abandoned this one, don’t think I can have too much I want to do with it, but the other one is just really REALLY taking up a lot of my time.  Butttttt… For all of you, I wanted to give you something, let you all know I have not forgotten this one, and I do plan to continue.  Once the other one lets me think some more on this one…
> 
> This chapter is pure Steve, Bucky is off to deal with Skye and SHIELD.  This chapter will be AOU.. I guess you can say.  

~~~***~~~***

Steve immediately felt the loss when he and Bucky left each other to go their separate ways.  No matter what he thought, Steve knew that they would only be apart for a short while.  He enjoyed the feel of the wind gliding across his skin as he made his way toward New York.  From what Tony had told him, they had a small mission to do before any party could happen.  No matter how much he enjoyed being around the others, Steve wasn’t quite ready to see Bucky go off on his own.  The last time they had been separated Bucky had… No Steve wouldn’t think about that.  He couldn’t.  Only stopping for gas and some food, Steve made it back to New York and the Avengers tower nearly two days after he had left Bucky.  Ignoring the ache in his chest and the pull that was demanding he go back to his mate, Steve parked his bike in the underground parking lot.  “Good Afternoon, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS called out to him as soon as Steve grabbed his small pack off the back of the bike.  “The others are up in the meeting room, I have already alerted them of your presence.”

“Thank you, I’ll head up now,” Steve reached the elevator and pulled out his phone to quickly send Bucky a note.  _Back in New York safe and sound.  How’s Skye?_

He leaned against the cool metal as he felt the elevator take him higher, it was a feeling he didn’t think he would ever fully get over.  He still marveled at how tall and big everything in this time was, at how much glitz and glamor there was all around him.  Feeling his phone buzz, Steve glanced down and immediately became concerned.  _Can’t talk now, will fill you in later.  Your Coulson friend has a LOT to fucking explain right now.  Stay there and I’ll explain as soon as I can.  ….Miss you._

_ Buck? _ Steve sent.  The doors opened to the floor he was to meet the others but Steve was frozen in his spot, his mind already going over how fast he could get to where the secret SHIELD base was.  Closing his eyes, Steve pictured Bucky in his mind’s eye trying to see if maybe he could make out what was going on with his mate.  He could make out anger but he could also feel a strong sense of protectiveness as well.  ‘ _Buck,_ ’ he thought to Bucky as he sent all the love he could over the bond they had.  They had not tested the limits of it, still trying to figure out this link that was between them.  Neither were sure if they could communicate over a short distance only, but Steve was beginning to realize that no matter the distance he could FEEL Bucky.  Maybe he always could, maybe that was why he knew that Bucky wasn’t really dead, why he had always felt that Bucky was alive somewhere.  

Steve felt a small smile spread across his lips as Bucky’s voice filtered over his mind.  _‘All will be fine, punk.  I won’t kill anyone but they have some serious explaining to do.  Do what you have to do and I’ll see you as soon as I can.’_

“What are you smiling about?  Do I want to know,” Natasha asked as she stepped in front of the open door of the elevator.  

Steve pushed himself off of the back wall and fell into step with her as they made their way to the conference room, “Nothing I will ever tell you.”  They reached the door to the room and stepped inside.  The room was just like Tony and the rest of the building.  Computers lined the whole room, with screens on the walls and a table right in the middle for all of them.  Steve set his bag by the door and moved over to the computer that Tony was sitting at, “What we got?”  Tony nodded over to Thor and Steve smiled at the large Asgardian, to Steve it was still strange to see Thor in civilian dress.  Noting that it did not make the man any less intimidating, one could not think of him as anything other than a God just by the way he held himself.  “Thor,” Steve said in greeting.  He knew he would never be able to pay these people back for their help in getting Bucky back home safe and sound but he knew he would try.  He had not been sure about the group when they had first been placed together by Fury, they were the definition of odd-balls, but they had come together when it was needed to.  They weren’t the Commandos but to Steve they were starting to be family.  

Thor reached over and gave Steve a firm handshake, and lead Steve over to one of the monitors on the far wall.  “My friend, I believe we have found the location of Loki’s Scepter.”

“The Scepter, wonderful.  Hydra,” Steve shook his head nearly kicking himself for not thinking of it sooner.  Of course Hydra would have taken it, anything of power or related to the Tesseract Hydra would have taken from SHIELD without too much of a problem.  With all that had happened after DC, with his singular focus of finding Bucky he had forgotten all about the other items that Hydra may have taken.  “Where?”  A map appeared on the monitor and Steve began to think of ways they could enter and get what they needed.  “Do we know what resistance we will be facing?”  

For the next few days, Tony had ‘borrowed’ some of the government satellites and worked on gathering as much intel as he could.  Once Steve was satisfied the next day was spent prepping, they knew they would be facing heavy resistance and Steve wanted to make sure that they had everything if not foolproof then at least enough that none of them would end up killed.  Picking up his phone, Steve pulled up Bucky’s number and sent a quick text.  _‘What do you know about Strucker?’_ Setting his phone off to the side, Steve once again pulled up the map of the area.  From what he could gather the compound had a very intense security system surrounding the main building which Steve knew that their best chance of getting inside would be Tony.  He was brought out of his planning by his phone ringing.  “Hey,” Steve said with a smile as he saw Bucky’s name flash on the small screen.  

“Strucker?  Baron Von Strucker?  Why do you want to know about him,” Came Bucky’s voice over the speaker and the anger and small hint of fear that Steve heard caused his blood to run cold.  “Steve you have no idea what you are getting yourself into.  Strucker is a fucking maniac, a scientist.   He likes experimentation, even when I knew him his main goal was to create the perfect being.”

Steve stood and made his way out of the room and walked into a room away from the others.  It was quiet, peaceful with a view of the bridge and it was something that Steve needed.  The fear he was hearing in Bucky’s voice was not something he ever wanted to hear again.  “Buck, talk to me.”

Steve could hear Bucky take a deep breath and let it out slowly as if he was trying to calm himself and not lose it on Steve.  “He worked on me for a few years, was a prize of Pierce’s.   He helped create the … the chair well the latest version. “  Steve felt pain as the image of Bucky in the chair from the clips they had retrieved from Hydra.    He was brought out of his thoughts however as Bucky continued and Steve pushed the it out of his mind for now. He knew they would have to talk some more about what they had done to Bucky but now was not the time.  “He tried to determine what Zola had done, tried to break down my blood samples, said he had ways of making it better.”

Anger started to fill Steve and he wasn’t sure if it was bleeding  over to him from Bucky or it was his own anger.  He would have ot get a handle on it before they left or else he would kill Strucker on the spot and that would not be in the best interest of anyone.  Strucker would need to be brought in so they could try and find out what else Hydra had planned.   “Did they,” he began but he couldn’t … he didn’t even want to think about what Strucker could have done to Bucky.

Bucky gave a small laugh, and Steve could practically see the man shake his head over the phone.  “Steve, a lot of people did a lot of things.  I don’t think I will ever find out everything that was done.  Hell, half of the time I wasn’t even conscious.  Why are you asking about him?”

“He has something we have been looking for,” Steve decided to answer.  He wanted to ask more about what Bucky remembered what he went through but being so far away from him, Steve just knew he didn’t want to leave Bucky alone to the nightmares or pain that it would cause.  

“Just… Be careful, okay,” Bucky told him knowing that Steve would go after Strucker no matter what he said.  “Strucker always has more than one back up plan, and he won’t care about collateral.”   Steve knew that no matter what from Bucky’s tone of voice they would not get out of this unharmed.

~~~***~~~***

The mission was as difficult as Steve thought it would be and the thought of some enhanced running around would haunt Steve until they found them.  He wondered briefly is some of what happened to them was from the experiments Strucker had started to develop by working on Bucky.   Clint had been hurt but thankfully he was on the mend thanks to Doctor Cho as Tony and Bruce worked on something with the Scepter in the lab.  Steve however decided to just take a day to himself in the city after his meetings with Maria.  Strucker was safely locked away and Steve made sure that Hill knew he wanted answers about what he had done to Bucky.  

Steve had called Sam inviting him to the party that Tony was hosting, it had felt like forever since they had seen each other even if it had only been a couple of weeks.  Sam had become a very close friend.  All that Sam had done for him and Bucky, all that he had endured during that long hunt Steve knew he was grateful for the friendship.  Without Sam Steve never would have made it, he would have lost himself while searching for Bucky.  “Well don’t you look all damn glowing.”

Steve turned with a smile on his face to see Sam step onto the sidewalk from a taxis.  “Sam!”  Steve went over and gave Sam a friendly hug and laughed.  “How have you been?”

“Man it hasn’t been that damn long, but good.  Went spent some time with the family, stopped off to the VA.”  The two began to walk down the street with no solid destination in mind.  “By the look on your face, I don’t think I need to ask how well your vacation went.”

Steve felt the heat rise over his face and down his neck and knew he was as red as he could be.  Bucky had always enjoyed trying making Steve blush and even without the man around he still could accomplish that little task.  “It was… good.  We talked some, just… enjoyed the time away.  I don’t know if I can even remember the last time it was just the two of us, you know.  Without war, without death.  It was nice.”

Sam lightly bumped his should against Steve’s laughing the whole time.  “Nice, yeah somehow I think it was little more than nice.”  The two made their way into a small delli and sat in one of the back corner tables.  “So how’s he doing?”

Steve looked down at the menu and shrugged.  “He’s… he’s doing okay.  I mean there are things he can’t talk about.  He has nightmares when he does sleep, but he is sleeping which is good.  It’s not often but from what he told me they did something to try and eliminate the need for him to sleep.  So I’ll take what I can get right now.  It will be a long recovery we both know that, but I think we’ll get there.”  Catching the look Sam was giving him, Steve set the menu down and let out a deep breath.  “And yes, we talked some more about.. you know.”

“You guys being careful right,” Sam asked as the waiter came up to them.  Both ordered, and Sam turned his attention back to Steve.  “I mean, it happened once…Have you two talked about the possibility if it happened again?”

Steve sat back, one hand resting on the table top running his finger over his phone .  “I guess… I mean, I wouldn’t mind one day.  And it’s not like when… well safety isn’t goes through our minds.  I can’t really explain it.  It’s…when they say animalistic I guess it’s partly true.”

Sam shook his head trying not to laugh.  “Really I don’t need to know THAT much.  I mean I like you, and well he doesn’t seem too bad but really.”  Sam leaned forward in an attempt to make sure others didn’t overhear.  “You two need to think about it.  I mean, with your job not really one of those you can really do it pregnant.”

Steve nodded knowing Sam was right but when his heat hits all Steve can think of is getting Bucky inside of him, any thoughts of protection completely fades away.  “Maybe when we’re together more it will be easier to remember that little bit.  I think, since we really haven’t been together a lot, and really have only _been together_ a couple of times it just…intense.”

Placing his hand on top of Steve’s, Sam gave his friend a small smile.  “Well, whenever it happens, remember all I did to make sure you two got back together.”

“You trying to tell me something,” Steve asked trying to hold in his laughter.

“I’d make a damn good god-father, or .. uncle.  I mean,” Sam spread his arms out wide with a smile on his face and Steve could not hold in his laughter any longer.  What would Steve do if he hadn’t found Sam.  

Both Bucky and Sam were Godsend and Steve felt blessed to have these two great guys in his life.   Maybe things would finally be looking up.

~~~***~~~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short, but wanted to get something out on this and to let you all know that no I have not forgotten about this.  This will be updated sporadically but I do still plan to continue.  Love you all for sticking with me.  Big HUGS!


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